Break.

Blessed is the husband that gives his wife a break before she loses her everlovin’ mind.

I don’t take breaks. Not on purpose really. Lord knows I need them sometimes. It’s just that I love, love, love my babies. Not just love them, but I love being around them. I truly enjoy their company. It’s true that a 3, 2 and 4 month old are truly good to hang around with. Sure, they are work. They take an incredible amounts of patience and tremendous amounts of love, but they are my true companions. If we were bazillionares Zach, the babies and me would hang out all the time and travel the world and then come home and have jammie days galore. No thanks on the nanny, but I will take a housekeeper pretty please.

But sometimes, sometimes Mama needs/craves/desires a minute.

And the truth is that I’m exhausted. Even though my Nonny isn’t up all night every night, she’s still not sleeping great. Normally she’ll sleep in the swing from 9:00pm-2:00am (with a feeding inbetween) and then she won’t go back to sleep unless I’m feeding and holding her. That said, I’m basically getting 2 hours of good sleep (from 12:00-2:00am) until I’m holding her until 6:30am when Bitzy wakes up. And tomorrow my sweet Nonny is 5 months old…so I really haven’t slept good in 5 months. Actually, I didn’t sleep good while I was pregnant so that’s 14 months total. Then, (let’s face it), I didn’t sleep good before I was pregnant because I was sleeping with and nursing Brother and then before was the pregnancy, then same cycle with Bitzy.

So, Bitzy is 3 years and 8.5 months old, plus 9 months of pregnancy = I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in 4 years and 6 months.

I’m tired.

But I’m also wildly in love with my life. And I get it, it’s part of the package. These beautiful tiny humans are my biggest blessing and I truly see them as a reward from the Lord. I refuse to take them for granted and complain about them.

But can I still be tired?

This is why I never take breaks. I feel like if I take a break from them then somehow I’m not thankful for them. That I’m complaining about them somehow.

I know it’s sounds nuts, but it’s how I feel.

But today, after several nights of barely sleeping, the two cups of coffee just wasn’t cutting it.

As I was serving breakfast I mouthed to Zach from across the room, “I need a break.”

He didn’t question, complain or bat an eye, he simply nodded and whispered, “Go and take as long as you need.”

That’s a good man friends.

After breakfast was over, the baby was fed and down for a nap, I slipped out as Bitzy and Brother were snuggling with their sweet daddy.

And here I sit.

Writing.

Breathing.

Missing my babies and Zach.

Isn’t that the craziest thing?

Life is funny like that.

I wish you all the very best of Sundays my friends. Soak it up.


 

 

2 Comments

  1. Anna says:

    I just love your blog and writing! Love the way you love you family Molly. And please take that break! You are thankful and not complaining even when you take a minute.

  2. Sarah Houston says:

    I completely understand! :-)

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