When the ultrasound told me that you were a boy, tears stung my eyes and I literally lost my breath for a moment.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

Not out of disappointment of course, more of disbelief.

I never considered being a “boy Mama.”

I just assumed that your Daddy and me would have a house full of girls. I never really even considered having a boy.

And then, at that moment, my world changed forever.

I imagined the baseball games when you would glance at me before you hit a home run, a look for approval, for love, for encouragement.

I imagined the cars and trucks and limitless hours of play.

I imagined your smile and how you would someday look at me.

And now, love? Your blue eyes are piercing. They are magnificent. Just as you are.

A miracle, that’s what you are.

A tow headed boy that began as a tiny speck growing in my womb as God, the Creator, knit you together so fearfully and wonderfully.

And now, that tiny speck has grown to be a strong, wild, kind, athletic, gentle, funny and sweet spirited toddler. You are certainly all boy in every amazing way.

And hungry. Always hungry.

In fact, you never seem to be satisfied.

Around 7 months old when I began introducing solid foods (that were homegrown and homemade), you refused them. In fact, on a few occassions you literally vomited.

Now, I know it’s because of the texture. You’re like your Mama. We don’t like our food mushy. The more dry and tougher the better.

But now? Oh my goodness. You, child, are always eating. I’ve given up with you only eating at the table. If I made you only eat in your seat when you were hungry you’d spend your entire day there!  You constantly walk around with an apple, a piece of turkey bacon (well done of course), or a cracker in your mouth.

Consequentely, I find myself sweeping and mopping every single day.

You are also much more emotional than Bitzy ever was. Not in her “roller coaster” style, more of a “I want what I want and I want it right now,” kind of way. I think we may have future issues with instant gratification darling.

And it’s so true what everyone says. The boys? They love their Mama’s. Granted I’ve happily been with you every single day of your 14 months and I know you best, but still. You’ll scan the room for me, run up and pull of my shirt until I scoop you right up.

Sometimes if we have guests over and you’re enjoying being the life of the party you’ll find me and flash a smile as if to say, “Just checkin’ on you Mama. Isn’t this so fun?”

And the snuggles? Ah the sweet naptime and bedtime snuggles. You are such a sweet snuggler. Even during the day as you’re running around at full speed you’ll come over and jump in my arms for a hug and kiss. It’s about the sweetest thing ever.

Before naptime and bedtime as I cuddle and nurse you, I sing songs of praise to our Father in heaven for the gift of you. *The Bible tells us that children are a gift, a reward from Him, and there is no time that I am more reminded of that as when your body is nestled close to mine, as your eyes close and your breathing gets heavy. As you fall into sleep, I go to the throne of heaven and thank Him for the gift of you. How kind God is to entrust your Daddy and me to raise you. I am truly humbled by the gift of being your Mama.

So baby boy, as you’re 14 months old now and I literally feel time speeding through my fingertips, I don’t want to waste one more minute without telling you how treasured you are. How adored. And how never in my wildest, most fantastic dreams could I have imagined the gift that God had in store for your Daddy and me with you.

You are loved sweet boy. So loved. And I will spend every single day or my life trying to remind you of how truly special and cherished you are. Whenever you read this, remember that there hasn’t been one day that has gone by in your life that you haven’t been prayed over. You are loved by many sweetheart, never forget that.

But most importantly? Remember that you were bought at a price, by the One who loves you most. His love, is the love that lasts forever and ever. 

Love you to the moon and back Brother Bear,

Mama

*Photography provided by the brilliant Toni Aulick Photography.

*Psalm 127:3