Last night at “The Wal-Mart” (I feel like this blog is turning into only posts about “The Wal-Mart”, what can I say, they are my people), I happened upon a scene that was burned into my mind and I’ve thought/prayed/obsessed about it all day.

My beautiful Bitzy and Brother were tucked securely in bed at home with Daddy while I went couponing.

You see, when I go on my deal adventures I’m focused and quiet. I do not talk on the phone, or make new friends while shopping. I stick to my list and try to get out as soon as possible. Just because the deals are the best at “The Wal-Mart” doesn’t mean that I like it there.

So as I was searching in one of the aisles for a certain kind of coffee creamer, I see a man and woman (probably around 30ish) with a toddler in the cart, a teenage son and adolescent daughter coming toward me. Their clothes were dirty and they smelled like a stew of onions and trash. They were talking loudly and cursing. Then, the toddler began yelling “Out! Hungry! Out! Hungry! Out!”

For those of you with babies/toddlers, this is a common occurrence. These little angels do not like to be trapped into anything, much less in a big store where they dream of running and pulling every last thing off the shelves.

So the child says “Out! Hungry!” probably 10 times or so and the Mama grabs the child’s arm and says, “You better shut up before I punch you in the damn face!”

At this point I’m right beside them. Tears were literally stinging my eyes when I turned around and looked directly at this scene. The toddler immediately stopped crying and put his tiny hands over his face in defeat. The rest of the family carried on like this happened all the time.

I couldn’t believe it. I was completely frozen.

I am so blessed to live in a happy world of imaginative play and happy dances. I live in a fun, kind, supportive environment. I would never, ever, ever in a billion zillion years dream of speaking to my babies that way. And growing up I was never treated that way. You see, I grew up in a happy house too. So call me sheltered if you will, but if the alternative is abusive and harsh, then I’m choosing sheltered all day long.

So in my frozen state I just stared. I couldn’t peel my eyes away from this scene. In fact, one may say that I was burning wholes through these folks. And now in hindsight I regret not speaking up. I should have gone straight to the child and told them that they are beautiful and wanted and loved by their Father in heaven. That they are valuable and cherished by Jesus.

I should have gone to the parents and told them that they only have a few short years to bathe their children in love and encouragement before they must go out in to the world. That they are the memory makers. They are the ones that could be and should be their children’s heroes. “Don’t waste it!” I should have said.

But I didn’t.

And now here I sit, thinking and praying for that child and wondering how many more hear those harsh words every day as I sit in my happy house.

Sometimes life just doesn’t seem very fair like that.

These, my friends, are my most favorite jeans in the land. Gap Long and Lean jeans. While I may be long, lean isn’t exactly a word I would use to describe myself. But alas, if Gap wants to call me lean, then they have my permission.

It’s possible that I *may* be a jeans hoarder. I admit it. I have fancy jeans and jeans that I bought on clearance for $3. I love them all in their own way. But these jeans? They are perfection. Especially after 2 or 3 wears, they are like buttah.

Although I have 4 different pairs of these jeans in different sizes and washes, these are my most favorite. They fit the best, I feel good (and skinny!) in them, and they are very comfortable.

Which is why, I may or may not have practically burst into tears when I discovered an innocent fray in the left knee of said jeans.

NONONONONONONONONONONONONO! Take any other pair of jeans! Please! Just not these! They are my forever favorites!

But alas, the fray has continued until a hole is coming any day now.

When I showed Zach he tells me that holey jeans are “cool and hip.” “Maybe you should try still wearing them”, he says.

Clearly, he doesn’t know me. This is evidence.

I may be many things- but hip, I am not.

I am not cool enough to wear holey jeans. I’m just not.

As if that isn’t bad enough, this morning I put on my favorite, favorite, favorite yoga pants (not that I’ve actually done yoga in 2 years mind you), and there is a hole in them too!!!!!

Oh the cruelty!!!!

So here I am left to wallow in my holey clothes.

Holes hurt my feelings.

Do you have any favorite clothes that are unwearable now? Do you share in my agony?

Well friends, in the quest to spend little and save as much as possible, all while building a stockpile, I am learning a lot. I am no where near an expert (quite the contrary), but I am learning more and more every week. What took me 3 hours 2 months ago, now takes me 1. To me, that’s progress.

A few weeks ago I wrote a few other blogs about saving money. Check those out too Save {part 1} and Save {part 2}…some of this will be repetitive, but hopefully it will all be helpful.

*No pictures in this post, I’m rushing to finish before naptime is over!

So many of you have asked about my process of couponing, what I buy, how I get the coupons, etc. So this week as I went through the steps of a weekly grocery list I wrote down what I did in order to best explain what I do and how I do it.

Let me reiterate again, I am NOT an expert. This is just my mangled, disorganized way of saving a freaking ton of money.

1. I have the Sunday paper delivered to my house. I get out the coupon inserts and clip, clip, clip. I do NOT clip everything. There are some things I do not want even if they’re free. Ha! Also, my sweet Mama sends me two sets of coupons each week from her papers in North Carolina. And, I also frequent Coupons.com to get online coupons.

2. Then, I throw away the entire paper except for the sales ads. Because, well, I’m more of a People.com person than a newspaper gal. Does that make me a bad person? Probably.

*Side Note* I exclusively shop at Wal-Mart because of the price matching + coupon policy. Remember this. If you play “the drugstore game” and get all the Extra Care Bucks/Register Rewards and such then good for you! I do not have the time nor the patience to play. So…I only go to one store, once a week. Also, note that my particular Wal-Mart price matches the final price of the drugstore (I understand that some stores do not do this). For example, if a razor is normally $9.97 at Wal-Mart and it’s on sale at CVS for $7.99 and when purchased you earn $2.00 in Extra Care Bucks, that means at CVS and at Wal-Mart your final price is $5.99. With a $5.00 off coupon (which I had), my final cost on a $10 razor was $.99. Not bad at all. Does that make sense?

Also, note that our Kroger here only doubles coupons up to $.50. If they doubled up to $1, I would most likely go to Kroger too for their deals. They DO NOT price match though, remember that. Typically, I save anywhere from $100-$150 per week on price matching alone, then other $50-$100 with coupons. So, the major savings is with the price matching.

3. Then, I scan all the sales papers. In my region the main stores that have competitive prices are CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, Mejier and Kroger.  Almost always, Wal-Mart has the cheapest price for regularly priced items in health/beauty and food (let’s face it, I’m not exactly shopping for electronics). So in the rare event that I cannot find something on sale or a coupon, Wal-Mart is the cheapest option. Now, as I’m scanning the sales papers I’m mostly interested in the killer deals. I am personally trying to not only buy groceries for weekly meals, but for our growing stockpile as well. So, I’ve got my eyes peeled for the cheapest food/products I can find. I only stockpile what I can get for free or very close to free (which is shockingly quite a bit).

As I said in an earlier post, I do not meal plan and then go shopping. I cook our meals based on the weekly deals and/or my stockpile.

4. That said, as I’m scanning I think of what we really need. Are there any essentials that have to be purchased this week? For us, it was dog food, so sale or no sale, coupon or no coupon, our doggies had to have food.

5. The more that I shop and save the more I crave spending as little as possible. So, one item that I would have liked to get, not an essential, but a want, would be Kraft Singles. I am a sucker for cheese and crackers and my Bitzy is too. So this week they’re on sale for $2.50 at Kroger. That’s quite a bit less than Wal-Marts $2.98 price. However, about a month ago I got them for $1 apiece in a 10 for 10 mega event that Kroger had. So, clearly I cannot pay more than $1 apiece. Again, you have to figure out what needs you have verses what you want. This will really help you plan your attack. I want the Kraft singles, however I’m not willing to pay $2.50 for them. They can wait. There isn’t a right or wrong way, you just have to figure out YOUR way.

6. As I scan the ads I write down all the items that are great deals, then I write down the sales price and what store the deal is from.

7. After my list is complete, I go through my coupons to match them with the sales items. If there are items that I do not have a coupon for (there always are) I go online and find one. Almost always I can find at least one. If you go to the company’s website they will often have a coupon tab or you can try Facebook. If you “like” their page a lot of companies will give you a coupon. Also, many of the awesome coupon blogs out there have a “Coupon Database” (iheartthemart, southernsavers, krazycouponlady) and you can type in what coupon you need and they’ll tell you if there is one. It’s pretty amazing.

*Side note* With online coupons you can only print 2 coupons per computer, FYI.

8. Now that you have your list and coupons in order make a final list. Organize by section in the store (Healthy/Beauty, Food, etc). Then, go back and match each coupon with your item to make sure that you’re all set. Make a column on your list giving you YOUR final price. This way, at checkout, you’ll know if a coupon didn’t go through based on the final number.

9. If you find a free and/or great deal on something that you will use and you want to stockpile it, consider buying extra coupons on Ebay or a coupon clipping service. I was able to get 50 boxes of Finish dishwashing tablets for $8.50 last week thanks to the $2.00 I spent on Ebay to get more Finish coupons. Now I have a 3 year supply of Finish tablets. They are normally $3.98 and I paid $.17 per box.

*Side note* Before we moved to this house I would never have been able to stockpile due to lack of storage. Now I have plenty of room to build a good stockpile, if you don’t, it’s fine, only buy what you need and enjoy the savings! If you do have the space consider building a stockpile for things that you regularly use, like say, dishwashing tablets (which I use every single day).

10. After I’ve gone through my list and matched with coupons, then I go back through my coupon binder to see if there are any coupons that are expiring soon that I would like to use. If so, pull those coupons and go back through the ads to see if those items are on sale. If so, add them to your list!

*Side Note* While there are generally not coupons for produce and meat you can get great deals on meat that is discounted because it’s expiring soon (I buy and stick in the freezer). Also, you can price match the meat prices per pound. A few weeks ago, a store in town (I can’t remember which one) had Butterball ground turkey on sale for $.99 per pound. Wal-Marts price was $3.98 per pound. When I went to get the turkey there was a coupon attached to the package for $1 off. Making it FREE. So I got 10 pounds of Ground Turkey for FREE. Then, last week KMart had Butterball Turkey Bacon on sale for $1.00 apiece (normally $2.98 at Wal-Mart), I had several $.55 off coupons making them $.45 each. Also, I have found that Mejier and Aldi almost always has the best prices on produce. A few weeks ago Aldi advertised their whole pineapples for $.99 and Wal-Marts price was $4.99 apiece (who in their right mind pays $5 for a pineapple?). So, the deals are out there, you just have to look for them!

11. Once you get to the store, DO NOT STRAY FROM YOUR LIST. If you see something you want, remember it and look for the coupon later.

12. Lastly, hand your coupons to the cashier individually. I know this is somewhat psychotic but I have found that it proves to be worth it. A few weeks ago a $3 coupon didn’t scan and I didn’t realize it ’til later, after I had already lost the receipt:(. So, from then on I vowed to hand each coupon to the cashier to make sure that it scans.

Now, to give you some REAL examples, here are some samples items from my shopping trip last night.

20 Smart Ones- Normally $2.98: Kroger had them on sale for $2.00 apiece with a “if you by 10 you get $4 off” deal. So, if you buy 20, you get $8 off. Right? So, that’s a total of $32. Then, I found 2 $4 off if you buy 10. So, now I have price matched 20 Smart Ones for $32, with $8 in coupons, making my total $24. Then, when I got to the store there was coupons on the product for $3 off when you buy 10 (so I was able to use 2 of them). So, I ended up getting 20 Smart Ones for $18. My price without coupons or price matching would have been $59.60.

2 Scrubbing Bubbles One Step Cleaner Refill- Normally $3.98: CVS had them on sale this week for $2.50 apiece. I had a Buy One Get One Free coupon make them $1.25 apiece.

2 Visine Dry Eye Drops- Normally $3.45 apiece: Walmart.com has a Visine coupon for $3 off (I printed off 2). I paid $.45 each.

5 pounds of Honeycrisp Apples- Normally $1.97 per pound: Mejier had them on sale this week for $.99 per pound. So, I saved 50% on apples.

6 Boxes of Uncle Bens Whole Wheat Rice- Normally $2.88 apiece: On sale this week for $.99 (I forget where), I had 3 buy 2 save $1 coupon making my final price: $.49 per box.

Is this helpful? Do you see that you can eat well and still save money?

I truly hope that you have found this to be helpful. I am having a blast saving money and I sure hope that you will give it a shot…it’s so worth it.

Love to all,

Well friends, it’s been 4 months since beginning my trek through the ditches of Weight Watchers. I’m not gonna lie, this past month has been really tough.

I know on my last update I was all, “Wow WW is easy peasy delicious! Everyone in the whole wide world should do it.” And then, October happened with all its candy glory.

For a candy addict like myself, October and WW do not mix well. So, I kind of fell off the wagon so to speak. In fact, I fell into a pool of Milky Way, Twix and Snickers bars. Honestly, it was kind of awesome.

But now, all good things must come to an end and I’m back together with WW.

So now, after 4 months I’ve lost 31.6 pounds. Hooray!

I’m only a few pounds from my pre-baby weight and I’m hoping that I’ll exceed my goal and lose at least 10 more pounds by Christmas. We shall see…I can already smell the Christmas fudge cooking (which is never a good thing for the ole waistline).

How are you guys doing? Any reports on your adventures with WW? Recipes???

I consider myself somewhat of a clean freak…or at least a tidy freak. Having two babies (a fresh 2 year old and a 5 month old), and being a clean/tidy freak has proved itself to be somewhat challenging, I will admit. Especially since I’m a freak-a-zoid about not cleaning when they’re awake, because I’m obsessed with playing. But that’s for another day…

Today, I want to tell you that I discovered this morning that I’m not a clean freak at all. In fact, I’m kind of grody.

That’s right, I said GRODY.

I went to The Fly Lady’s website. I innocently clicked on “Deep Cleaning Your Kitchen” and immediately realized the depth of my nastiness.

Do people like her really exist? Can I have one Mommy, please?

Very few times in life do I wish for things, as I really, really, really try to be content with what we have…but I REALLY want a Fly Lady of my very own. Pretty please with sugar on top?

Or at least I want to have an extremely organized, fun, exciting, scheduled, disciplined, and CLEAN existence….

Is it just me that gets completely overwhelmed at times? I want my babies to have so much fun every day, to play and learn and to have my complete attention. And then, I’ve got this wonderful husband who needs me too…and this house that has LOTS of needs (dishes, laundry, organizing, couponing, sweeping, mopping…you get it).

I find myself so overwhelmed at times. Like it will not ever get done…especially little things like the bookshelf full of books that need to read or sold or SOMETHING.

Again, I either want to transform into Fly Lady or I want one for Christmas please.

Do you? Is it just me?

Don’t worry, I’m not holding my breath either.

My beautiful girl,

Yesterday at 6:17pm you turned two years old. This truth seems unbelievable to me. In some ways if seems like you were born just yesterday, and in others if feels like we’ve been together forever. I barely remember life without you.

You have absolutely, in every way possible, made the world a better, more beautiful place. Especially the world as your daddy and I see it. You are so delightful, so beautiful. You make every day sweeter. I cherish every single day that I get to grow with you. You make me better. In fact, you and your brother are the very best things I’ve ever done.

You have such a sensitive, sweet spirit. You are smart, kind and most of all FULL of life.

Tonight as I rocked you to sleep I was reminded that while you are now two, you are still very much a baby. And I must admit, this gives me great joy. I want you to remain a baby forever, my baby.

Sadly, someday you will not want me to rock you to sleep, but I hope and pray that you will still gaze into my eyes and say, “I love you mama, so much” as you did before drifting off to dreamland.

And then, tears will slip down my cheeks as they did tonight, because baby, I love being your mama and I’m so grateful that you love me back. God picked you out for me and me out for you. We were made for each other.

Your daddy says that we’re just alike. We are both hyper, clumsy, silly, loud, emotional, we laugh easily, and we know what we want and when we want it (which isn’t always a good thing). I get you, Bitzy boo, I really do. Perhaps the reason that I can read you so easily is that we are so much alike. Just like yesterday when you began having a meltdown over something silly, rather than disciplining you, I simply took you in my arms, sat you on my lap and held you. You just needed a break and I knew it. Sometimes I just need a break too sweetheart. Maybe we can always take our breaks together.

Most of all, I want you to know how loved  and wanted you are darling. You are loved by so many. Your daddy and I prayed and begged God for you. We never, ever could have imagined the blessing He had in store for us in you. He is good like that.

I want you to remember that no one on earth loves you as I do (although your daddy is a close second). I will always, always, always love you no matter what. But as much I love you, God loves you more. And I pray every day that you will love Him back, because He has loved you since the beginning of time sweetheart. He is so good. Trust Him, Love Him and Know Him as your own. This is my prayer for you my love.

I love you to the moon and back…Happy Birthday dear baby, happy birthday to you.

Mama

I feel bad for celebrities.

I really do.

Can you imagine the nightmare of never leaving your house without cameras surrounding you?

How about seeing your picture in a tabloid with no make-up and your jammies?

Or explaining to your child why there’s a dude following you around with a camera?

Nightmare.

Granted, they are getting paid several million dollars for being in silly movies, so it’s the price they have to pay, right?

While I do feel sorry for them, I still enjoy said photos.

It’s a guilty pleasure, what can I say?

Since I frequent people.com, I simply must share some updates with you about my celeb friends (since hopefully you, my dear readers, are much more classy than I, and do not read this trash).

First things first:

Oh Jessica, unless you are carrying around a bowling ball or a tumor in your belly, you are clearly preggers. Just say so. You had a TV show about your life for goodness sake. Clearly, you aren’t shy. How far along are you anyway? I’m going with 6 months.

Secondly, I must admit that I do not enjoy Scarlett Johannson. I’m sure that in real life she’s lovely, but I have never enjoyed her acting (I blame all the Woody Allen films). In fact, in every movie she annoys me to death. This picture only explains further why she drives me bananas.

Third (or is it thirdly?),

Jennifer Aniston is apparently “packing on the pounds” according to my friends at People. Really? Really? If she is, in fact, packing on the pounds, what does that mean for the rest of us? Geez.

Fourth (again, is it fourthly? Can someone please let me know about this all important question?),

Who is this person? She’s crowding up my tabloids and I have no clue who she is. They need to free up space for my friend Sandy, just in case she wants to show us her sweet little Louie.

Again, less of you, whoever you are…

And more of you…my  BFF Sandy.

Am I the only hopeless lady on the interwebs who loves ‘em some celebrities?

Please say no.

I’m not one of those gals who gets all in a tizzy about her hair. I’ve never once cried over a haircut or color gone wrong. It will grow back after all, right? Hopefully?

Anyway, my days of non-tizziness came to a screeching halt a few months ago when I declared that I hated, HATED, hated my hair. Too long, too dark, too awful.

So, what did I do? I slapped it up in a pony-tail every.single.day.

I became the typical stay at home mom who had on no make-up, hair up and a coffee mug in hand.

I’m not proud of this folks.

While it’s not practical for me to wear high heels every day, for me, it’s important to feel good about myself. I figure that we all will benefit from mommy looking and feeling good. As they say, “If Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.” True dat.

So, I called a salon about one minute down the road and got an appointment. My sweet mother in-law came over and watched the babies and I spent one solid hour alone getting my hair did.

And…I love it.

Granted she could have given me a crew cut and I would’ve liked it better than the matted long mess of hair that I had.

Thankfully, she did exactly what I asked her to do and I’m in happy hair heaven.

I’ve even worn make-up for 2 days in a row!

Shut the front door, Molly is back!

Here are some pictures:

Front

Back

It’s slightly embarrassing how much better I feel. My step is lighter and slowly but surely I’m feeling like myself again. I’ve been pregnant/breastfeeding for nearly 3 years! Crazy.

Now that my hair is cute and my baby weight is almost gone I’ll probably get pregnant again any second…because that’s how I roll (relax Mama, I’m joking).

Some days I feel as if I could sit down, put my fingers on the keys of my laptop and words would burst out of my soul. I would write beautiful, smart, witty things that would inspire and provide laughter to the masses.

But shockingly, a 22 month old and 3 month old really don’t care about said minute and demand my full attention.

Hence, I guess we’ll never know if those words truly would pour out of me.

Probably not.

I would get distracted by People.com or the mountains of laundry that need to be folded and put away and then those words would be bottled for another day.

The real truth is that when the babies are finally asleep I am far too exhausted to spell my name much less write anything that is coherent, much less meaningful.

That said, the utter exhaustion that I am experiencing is the most precious place that I’ve ever been. These sweet babies are growing so rapidly that I can hardly keep up.

Bitzy’s language development is tripling by the day and my sweet baby boy now weighs 17 pounds! Amazing how they grow isn’t? What a wonderful way to spend my days.

Someone much smarter than me once said, “How you spend your days is how you spend your life.” So true. I feel overwhelmingly blessed to spend my days picking up toys, kissing boo-boos, changing diapers, reading books and loving on these two sweet ones. Even with Bitzy’s new term, “No way!” for everything I ask her to do, which results in time-outs and tantrums, and with Brothers new desire to only sleep in my arms (which clearly I LOVE), I am amazed that I get to be with them all day, every day. It is a gift that humbles me.

So, at this point in my life no profound words will be written anywhere but my heart, as I desperately try to memorize the moments that are flying by.

Maybe when I’m 50 I will write something fabulous.

Until then, this is all you get.

Ha!

For as long as I can remember I have been a deal hunter. I am physically incapable of paying shipping for anything and heaven forbid I pay full retail for a piece of clothing. I just can’t do it. I am forever using coupon codes, getting cash back, and searching online for deals.

While I have mastered the art of online shopping, I hadn’t delved into the game of couponing…until along came a little show I like to call, Crazy Couponers. Sure, it’s really called, “Extreme Couponers,” but let’s face it, they’re all nutjobs.

While they are crazycakes to be sure, they are smart and savvy and I wanna be just like them.

So, I began slowly clipping coupons here and there, nothing serious. I wasn’t fully committed.

Then, along came the notebook.

You know the one. Like the one you had for senior English class.

That one.

When I opened up that notebook and gazed into the beautiful zippers and rings, I was smitten.

Then, I bought a new pair of scissors.

And then, I happened upon a document that would forever change my life forever.

The Wal-Mart coupon policy.

As we know, I am small town girl who now who frequents “The Wal-Mart.” So, this policy was very interesting to the likes of me.

The policy states that they will take competitors ads in addition to coupons.

What does this mean, you ask?

It means that if Walgreens has eyeshadow on sale for $2.99 and at Wal-Mart it’s $3.99, you simply tell your cashier at Wal-Mart that Walgreens beat their price and you get it for $2.99.

Then, if you couple that $2.99 with a coupon for $1.00 off, guess what? You’ll pay $1.99 rather than $3.99.

Easy peasy.

I’m still just a novice. I’ve only been at this for a few weeks and I am no where, and I mean NO WHERE near an expert, but I am thrilled to report that tonight I bought $129.88 worth of groceries and only paid $49.11!!!!

The best part? It’s stuff we actually use!!!

Here’s the haul-

Several of these items were free or more than half off!!!

Things like Gala Apples, Grapes, Diapers, toothpaste, paper towels, pasta, dishwasher tablets, salad dressing, dish soap, ketchup, the list goes on and on.

Last week I caught amazing deals on clearance meat (you have to use or freeze it within two days of buying it) and saved $50 on meat alone.

That said, I’m totally addicted. I am pretty sure that the days of running into the store to “pick up a few things” that resulted in a $75 trip are way over.

Happily over.

I figure that if companies want to give me their deeply discounted or free items I can spend the 2 hours it takes to plan my attack. Right?

But no worries, I have no plans to be on the TLC show…YET.

Love to all,

I have been accused of being many things in my life.

Some good, some not so good, but no one can ever accuse me of not taking enough pictures.

Often when I ride down memory lane I will remember the pictures I took at the time and then weave all the memories together.

What did people do without cameras back in the day? They were probably much more concerned about milling their own wheat and trying to not get eaten by bears, right?

Maybe that’s why in all the old pictures people look so mad. They’re just tired!

Anyway, it’s safe to say that I’m obsessed with my family, we’ve established that to be sure. Part of that obsession includes capturing each moment and taking time now and later to ooo and ahhh over my sweet ones.

That said, wanna oooo and aahh with me?

Shall we?

Oh lets!

Notice that Bitzy is trying to put her sunglasses on, upside down.

My big boy enjoying his head not flopping around. Neck strength is really something to smile about!

Enjoying the beauty of the mountains.

My sister Katie and Brother just hanging out.

My little explorer.

How about a little eggs and bacon for your morning bike ride?

Fun day at the zoo!

Ah, isn’t love grand?!

Have a great weekend ya’ll!

I have read 2 books since Bitzy was born. TWO. Actually that’s not true. I’ve read at least 2.5 billion kid books. Let me clarify: I’ve only read two books that don’t print the words on cardboard and smell like strawberries when you scratch them. Since you’re dying to know, they are “Heaven is For Real” (excellent) and “The Help” (stunning). Take in mind that pre-baby I could put 2 novels away per week. I devoured good books, a real sucker for a good memoir. After my sweetheart was born I would read a paragraph here and there of baby help books (useless), but the days of endlessly curling up with a book are way over. Happily over to be sure, but still O-V-E-R.

I’m disgusted with how much food we have in the freezer and pantry. There are starving babies for goodness sake. I think we can go for a week without fresh fruit. That said, I have declared that all meals will come from food that we already have this week (and maybe next). So far, so good. Granted, tonight I used my last fresh veggie (green pepper), so after the leftovers are gone from tonight’s dinner, we may be feasting on more creative foods. Perhaps tomorrow will be something totally new and unique! How about corn and peas casserole or peanut butter and cracker ragu. No? Too weird? I’ll figure something out. I’m excited to use our resources wisely and weirdly! Ha.

I am fairly certain that I successfully addicted baby #2 to my arms. My sweet baby boy is now 3 months old and loves to snuggle, and clearly I love to snuggle him right back. My Bitzy screamed bloody murder day in and day out for the first 5 months of her life unless I was holding her, so I’m pretty sure that my arms have magic dust on them. Slowly but surely my sweet boy is making it very clear that he wants a piece of the magic. I’m scared that we may end up with another round of sleep wars…oh well. I’m gonna enjoy the snuggles while they last.

Is it bad that I dreamt last night about coconut cream pie? I have a problem. Just for the record, a Coconut Cream Pie Milkshake from Sonic is 18 points. Ouch. Almost worth it. Almost, but not quite.

My hair is in a bad place. A really, really, really bad place. I don’t think it’s been this long since college. And trust me, long hair is not a good look for me. Must.Get.Haircut. I hit an all time low on Saturday when I took a “mommy time-out” during nap time and ventured to “The Wal-Mart.” I actually walked in the hair salon located inside “The Wal-Mart.” By some stroke of miracle they were busy and couldn’t cut my awful hair. This my friends is how you spell desperation.

Any confessions that you’d like to get off your chest?

Random picture for you. Sometimes my “excited eyes” become my creepy eyes. Yikes. Good thing my girl is SO CUTE.

As I sit, my two miracles are napping, I just took a shower, cleaned two bathrooms and sat down to write something wonderful for you, my sweet friends.

But, as I have suspected for awhile now, my brain is only firing on half cylinders. I have stared at this screen for five minutes without one original thought. And then I remembered a friend of mine once told me that after she had kids (she has 4), she lost some intellect and gained strengths in organization, multi-tasking, cooking, etc. At the time I thought she was nuts…but now, has this happened to me?

I can cook dinner with a baby on my hip with no problem, but for the life of me I cannot spell.

I can fold and put away laundry all while dancing like a champ to the Hokey Pokey, but I can’t remember the words to the Star Spangled Banner (could I ever?).

I am teaching my 22 month old how to count to 20, but I can barely remember how to do long division.

Am I alone here? Perhaps it’s exhaustion or forgetfulness. Maybe my brain will snap back.

All I know is when I look at this screen, my ideas take a nap and I’m left to wonder what kind of mush my brain will become with a couple more kiddos.

As you know, I’m a die hard fan of Milky Way.

The marriage of carmel and chocolate is one of miracles.

I do not particularly care for carmel by itself, but layered between chocolate, I’m smitten.

Side note: since I’m now a small town gal and frequent “The Wal-Mart” I simply must get my chocolate fix every single time I go through the check out. But not just the regular one…the king size (because apparently the normal size just doesn’t cut it). That’s right. A king size. I’m woman enough to admit it.

I have no regrets.

But today, as I looked at the brown and green packaging of my kind lover Milky Way, a shiny gold package began calling my name. “Molly, Molly. Remember me from 7th grade? We had a brief, but significant love affair. Try me again. I will not disappoint.”

Twix.

Ah, Twix. It’s true. In 7th grade I gave up eating all together except for Twix.

You see, my affair with sugar goes way back.

But I digress.

So, as I’m being taunted by the pristine gold packaging I look back at my old pal in the brown and boring wrapper. “Can I really cheat on you like that little buddy? You are my faithful friend.” Then, evitabilty the justification begins. “But it’s just this once. It doesn’t mean anything. No one ever has to know.”

And then, I did the unthinkable.

I bought the Twix.

My hands tremble as I admit it.

As I was pulling out of my parking spot and trying not to hit the meth addict that was entering “The Wal-Mart” I ripped open the package with the reckless abandon of a 7th grader.

Suddenly my heart began singing like it was 1992. And right then and there I knew that it was time to break up with Milky Way.

My heart belonged to Twix all along.

So, I sang “The End of the Road” to Milky Way and then married Twix. “I’ll never leave you again love. Never.”

Is this making you hungry friends?  How about a musical snack?

You’re welcome.

Do you have any candy love affairs that you’d like to speak of. Don’t be shy. I mean, I just admitted to the interwebs that I eat a King Size candy bar at least once a week. Who does that??? Oh wait, me! I’m so lame.

“I’m going to count to three.” (In my most stern “I mean it” voice).

“No Mommy, I sorry.” (In her “I’m so little and precious” voice).

“Baby please put on your listening ears and walk up the steps with mommy.”

“No, No, NOOOOOO.”

“Bitzy, do not tell mommy no.”

“I sorry mommy. ‘Give you?”

“Yes baby, mommy forgives you. Please come up stairs honey, brother is crying and we need to help him.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I sorry mama. I sorry. ‘Give you?”

“Yes baby, I forgive you. Please don’t tell mommy no. Now come on we have to go up stairs right now because brother needs us.”

Then she begins dancing in circles singing her version of Dora the Explorer theme song.

“Bitzy, please come on. We need to help brother now. I’m going to count to three and if you do not come here then you’re going to time out. Do you understand?”

“Yes mama. Luv you. Bootfull mama.”

“One.”

Continues dancing.

“Two.”

Runs into the kitchen singing more loudly.

“Three. OK, come on, you’re in trouble. Time-out time.”

Walks to me with her head down crying.

“What’s wrong baby?”

“I sorry mama. I luv u. Me troobull?”

“Yes baby. You’re in trouble for not listening. You have to go to timeout for one minute for not listening to mama.”

“OK mama. I sorry. ‘Give you?”

“Yes, I forgive you. Now sit still for one minute on the mat, it’s time-out.”

She starts crying (loudly).

“i loove you mama. ‘Give you. Pweese ‘give you. Make cup-cups for you?”

“Baby, please be quiet, you’re in time-out.”

More crying. Lots and lots of crying.

“Okay baby it’s been one minute. Give mommy hugs and kisses. Mommy loves you so much. You need to listen to mommy okay?”

“Okay mama. I loove you mama. I sowrry.”

“Baby, let’s go upstairs and help brother.”

“Sure, Mama. Fun baby, shuweet baby. Tiny baby.”

“Great! Let’s go!!

CRYING.

“NO, NO, NO. No like it.”

Runs away screaming like I’m asking her to gouge out her eyes with a spoon. When in fact I’m asking her to walking up the freaking steps where her baby brother has been whining/crying for 3 minutes as she loses her mind in Toddlerville.

“Bitzy, do you want to go to time-out again?”

“No mommy, no! Loove you mommy much.”

“Okay, then let’s go upstairs now.”

Rather than finally getting her to go up the steps of her own accord like a good mommy, I pick her up kicking and screaming and drop her off in her room and then tend to Brother. Meanwhile, she sits in the floor with her books and acts like she’s the happiest she’s even been.

Is this normal or should I invest in some kind of protective gear for when she turns two?

The kid is a roller coaster all day, everyday.

But, ya know what? It’s the greatest time I’ve ever had at a theme park!

Ha!

Bitzy LOVES apples!

Well friends, it’s been a whole month since I got back together with my old beau, WW.

Our affairs have been intense in the past and the reunion tour I’m currently on is no exception.

You see, Weight Watchers is the perfect match for the likes of me.

What other diet program gives you the option of eating sugar all the live long day?  I love having that option, it keeps my sugar addiction intact.

Here’s the skinny.

In 4 weeks I’ve lost 11 pounds.

However, I feel like a cheater.

I get 20,490 points a day because I’m breastfeeding exclusively. I mean, that’s a lot of points. And since I value all things sugar over anything else, I’ve been eating a lot (like a lot, a lot) of sugar.

The secret to eating tons of junk food and still losing weight is simply staying within your points. It’s not brain surgery.

You see, WW tried to get all sneaky and change the points system so that you were forced to eat healthier.

Pu-lease WW. I ain’t no dummy.

Sugar always wins.

Always.

A life without Milky Way is no life at all.

So there you have it. WW is working yet again.

I am a life long believer in the powers of WW.

Today I tried on my “fat” jeans and they fit! Obviously, my goal is to fit into my “normal” size jeans and hopefully my “skinny” jeans (not to be confused with actual skinny jeans. Not my style folks, nope not at all) will eventually fit again soon enough.

So progress is certainly being made! More updates to come sooner than later.

Anyone else out there in cyberspace losing weight/wants to lose/loves sugar?

Anyone? Am I all alone in the world of WW?

Do tell!

This picture has nothing to do with the post. Just a little eye candy for you.

In the land of mommy’s and daddy’s everywhere there are lots of questions that arise in the pursuit of raising tiny humans. Like, LOTS of questions.

While my experience is limited, having 2 babies under 2 hardly makes me an expert, I still have to make daily decisions for my family that are sometimes hard.

That said, let me preface this post by saying that these decisions are best for our family. Never in a million, bazillion years would I try to impose these decisions on other people. Because, well, they’re your babies, not mine.

Here are a few examples of daily decisions that come up:

1. Should we allow pacifiers? Yes, Yes, Yes. I love a good paci. We stuck a paci in Brothers mouth when he was only a few hours old. He has never had any issues with nursing because of it. I am a believer. Bitzy will sometimes still use one at naps and bedtime, but she has never been attached to it really, so I see no need to take it away at this point.

2. TV. I admit that I am psychotic about how many “shows” (as Bitzy calls them) she watches. I want TV to be a treat, not the norm. The TV is never just on. It’s only on while she is watching a show. Most days she watches 1 or 2 25 minute shows and I’m okay with that. I admit that sometimes that 25 minutes is a lifesaver. I can feed, change, snuggle Brother, unload the dishwasher, make breakfast…you get the idea. But again, that decision is one that our family has made. Sometimes it would be much more convenient to turn it on and let her watch endlessly, but we really want to encourage active playtime rather than TV.

3. Food. Again, I’m psycho, I do admit.  But honestly, I think my psychosis has paid off. Bitzy is a VERY healthy eater. As an infant I made all of her baby food and only offered healthy organic choices. Her favorites foods are cucumbers, apples, blueberries, peaches, oranges, peas and turkey bacon. She didn’t have sugar until her 1st birthday and didn’t again until she was 18 months. We don’t give her juice, only milk and water. She doesn’t ask for sugary treats, she asks for apples and tomatoes. It’s awesome.

Those are just a few examples of things that we have faced as new parents and continue to enforce on a daily basis. Another decision that we have made as a family is for me to continue nursing both Bitzy and Brother. The technical term is tandem nursing.

If you’ll remember I thought about weaning around 20 weeks into my pregnancy with Brother and it just didn’t happen (Read it Here). Bitzy simply wasn’t ready and honestly, neither was I.

I wish I could tell you that I did mega research on the benefits of nursing a toddler and memorized all the stats and was a card carrying member of the Le Leche league, but friends, I didn’t do any of that.

I simply went with my gut.

My gut said that my sweetheart wasn’t ready to wean and boy am I glad that I listened.

Nursing them both has made the transition from one baby to two so much easier. It’s as if Bitzy knows that her and Brother are on the same team. They have equal footing. She hasn’t showed any signs of jealousy or aggression toward him at all and I can’t help but think that nursing them both has played a part.

While I am proud to say that I nurse them both I realize that it’s not for everyone. It’s a personal choice.

Just like it’s my choice to not breastfeed in public. I have never been comfortable with nursing cover-ups and I personally do not feel comfortable pulling my shirt down in public to feed so I leave the room and feed them privately. I am not ashamed, I just feel more comfortable in private.

Sidetrack: One day in Target I met a gal with 3 little boys, ages 5, 3 and 10 months. She had the infant in a baby carrier and he was crying as we chatted. To try to appease him she pulled out her breast and began feeding him. For her, it was perfectly normal and acceptable. For me, it was uncomfortable, I’m not gonna lie. But ya know what?  To each his own. Feed in public, feed in private- whatever dudes.

I guess the reason that I am writing this is to enforce that the quote “To each his own” is especially true in parenting. There are so many strong opinions about this that and the other and I just don’t understand why people get so bent out of shape. We’re all just doing the best we can, no?

Sure, if you see a child being abused it’s your responsibility to speak up, but otherwise I think it’s wise to remember that “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all.” I am forever amazed at how people feel so strongly about the craziest things that do not effect them in any way and use harsh words to express their opinion.

Aren’t we all in this together friends? Raising babies is tough and we need to support and love each other, right? Can I get an AMEN?!

Thoughts? Comments?

Introducing…

Tatum Bennett Nelson

9 pounds 9 ounces 21.5 inches long

Born May 26, 2011 at 2:29pm

Love at first sight.

Well my due date has come and gone friends.

It’s true. My womb is apparently awesome. My babies love it and refuse to leave it without a good ole fashioned eviction notice.

With Bitzy, I was 10 days late and literally on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was losing my ever loving mind. With this little boy (for the most part), I’ve accepted the awesomeness of my womb and declared that his papers will be served on Thursday and that is that.  No tears, no frustration, no heartache…just a calm readiness.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take what I can get. If he decides to come tonight, I’m not arguing…but I’m not holding my breath either.

In the midst of watching my due date come and go, I can’t help but be grateful that I seem to produce very full term, big, healthy babies.  There are plenty of families in the NICU who would love to be overdue rather than delivering at 25 weeks gestation.

This, my friends, is the perspective that I need when I’m practically doing a three point turn in the bed at night just to roll over. Or when my little one kicks my privates so hard that my sciatic nerve buckles and I can hardly walk. Or even when carrying around a toddler all day in addition to the huge watermelon in my belly makes my back ache and takes the word “exhaustion” to a whole new level, I am finding myself grateful.

This, is a gift my friends.

God is faithful in giving me these tough reminders.

Anyway, there’s your update on the baby in my belly…hopefully I’ll have pictures of his perfect little self on Thursday!

1. If this little dude inside of my belly will hold on I will deliver him in 16 days (not that I’m counting or anything).

2. 16 days, as in, 2 weeks. Holy Smokes.

3. This is good news and bad news, because of course, life ain’t always a bowl of cherries. Good news? I’ll have a swishy new bundle of love in my arms. Bad news? No more Banana Pudding Milkshakes from Chick-Fila. I’m told that all good things must come to an end. Such a bummer. I love them with a love that will never die.

4. It seems that April showers haven’t brought May flowers because it continues to rain every second of every day. I’m OVER IT. Ya hear me Lord? Please, pretty please with sugar on top no more rain until at least June.

5. Bitzy gets funnier every day. It’s true. As her speech improves her “funny factor” triples. The kid is funny…but then again, I’m a pretty easy laugh. So maybe it’s all in my head.

6. I hate when people say, “Trust Me.” Like at the end of the last sentence if I said, “she’s really funny, trust me.” I just find it insulting for some reason. Or if they say, “You wouldn’t understand.” That annoys me too. Maybe I would, how could you know?

7. It is possible that I’m a little moody in this large pregnant body.

8. Back to the milkshakes. How in the world do they combine nilla wafers, bananas and ice cream without making it all mushy and gross? Surely they don’t use fresh wafers and bananas? Or do they? I need answers people. Any experts on Banana Pudding Milkshakes out there in the blogosphere?

9. I will admit that this child in my belly has taken it easy on me and didn’t make me vomit for months (as his sister did) and hasn’t made me swell up like a balloon (ahem, as his sister did), and hasn’t made me totally and completely miserable for last 9 months (ahem, ahem, as his SISTER did), however, he is not totally innocent. Oh no. I am convinced that he is huge. And even if he’s not huge he is stronger than an ox. How do I know this? Well, because he has me in constant pain, that’s why. For those of you who are not currently preggers (and for those who are I’m sure that you can relate), it isn’t exactly comfortable to have a tiny person’s feet in your ribcage and then his head pounding your privates simultaneously. In fact, it’s quite painful.

10. Just one more question about the milkshakes…could I make them at home? Perhaps a low(er) fat version? I’m sure that my feeble attempts could never compare to the real deal, but a girl can hope, right?

Remember all the talk about me moving…ahem, or perhaps all the whining.

It’s true. I hate moving with a hate that will never die.

But now, we’re all moved in and the drama has ceased. I guess you could say that we’re finally settled.

We painted every room in the house (except the Master Bath) and did tons of cosmetic/decorating work. Fortunately, there wasn’t a ton of mechanical issues with the house so we got to skip all of that!

We also have an unfinished basement that is already plumbed and framed and we’re hoping to finish it this winter…but that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah.

Anyhow, we feel so incredibly blessed to live in this house and still are in awe that God has blessed us so lavishly.

(I don’t know why we continue to be surprised by God’s extravagant blessings…He is our Father and Provider after all).

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

We had our old house on the market off and on for nearly 2 years and it simply wasn’t the right time. So many nights Zach and I would lie in bed in utter confusion that God wouldn’t let us move.  We felt that we were “doing all the right” things, but still, God continued to say “NO!” Don’t get me wrong, we had a great townhouse that was sufficient and certainly provided a roof over our heads…but we really wanted a house with a yard.

Now, in hindsight we see that God had gone before and prepared the way to give His best…and He has.  We are so, so, so blessed.

Anyway, many of you have asked for pictures…so here they are!!!!

Welcome to our home!

Master Bedroom! This room is at least twice as big as our old bedroom. We LOVE IT.

Master Bath. Isn’t it amazing? It’s heavenly.

Our Kitchen. At our old house we literally had 5 cabinets. It was a wreck. Look at all this space! It’s dreamy!

Downstairs Half Bath.  This bath is right beside the living room and kitchen. Very convenient for this preggers lady.

Great Room. We love this room! We have tons of seating for friends and family…but mostly I love the color!

Guest Room. This room is dedicated to my home people in NC. It reminds me of home.

Upstairs Bathroom. In our old house we only had 1 full bath so having guests made life a bit crowded. It’s so wonderful to have 2!!!!

Sweet New Baby Boys Nursery! It’s finally finished! Yay!!!

My sweet Bitzy’s room! We kept her room almost identical to our other house so that she didn’t get freaked out/confused. Lord knows that we don’t need any more sleep issues!!!

Bitzy’s Closet/Playroom. Can you believe this closet? What a dream!!! She’ll really love it when she’s 16!

And now my favorite room in the house!!! Our dining room! This room has been a labor of love!!!

Me to Zach: “I really need to write a blog, but I’m just so tired. I can’t do it.”

Zach: “You should write a blog about how you’re too tired to write a blog.”

So there you have it. Here I am, whining about how tired I am. Original isn’t?

It’s true folks, I’m a pooped puppy.

I know that the whole wide world is tired and there are starving children, so really, what do I have to complain about?

I like to consider it whining more than complaining though. There is a difference ya know.

Me and my dear friend Julie. We’re due only a week apart! Crazy isn’t?

So anyway…I’m now 34 weeks preggers and feeling every bit of it. Up until this point I have honestly felt great, like surprisingly great. I have had the energy to chase after my Bitzy, clean house during nap times, work 2 days a week, cook every night and not be a total zombie in the evenings. I have been shocked at my energy levels…but friends, times they are a’changing.

Almost overnight I have been slapped silly with exhaustion.

Not to mention that I’m bigger than Mount Olympus. It’s true, I’m a large lady.

At my 32 week ultrasound they estimated that our new little Buddy was already 5 pounds. That’s scary folks.

Bitzy was 8 pounds, 9 ounces and 21 inches long at birth and she was 10 days late…it’s looking like little buddy may blow that outta the water.

I know that some of you probably had 10 pounders, (God bless you every one)…but I’m telling you, pushing an 8.5 pounder out of my body for 3 hours wasn’t my favorite experience ever.

All that to say, in addition to the Banana Pudding Milkshakes that I’m wearing on both of my thighs I have a huge baby that is encompassing my belly.

So excuse me for being a blogging slacker…right now my main priority is taking care of my little family without totally passing out.

Love to all,

I remember being around 4 years old in daycare and visiting the local library.

We would all sit down and listen intently to the librarian read books about adventures, princesses and fiery mystical animals.

I loved the library.

Still do actually.

It was so big, so cavernous, and a bit mysterious.

I remember even at the age of four feeling so proud to be visiting such a sophisticated place.

I felt all fancy and stuff.

Now, I want my Bitzy to love the library as well.

Since we’ve moved to the burbs we’ve frequented the library at least once a week. She reads books, plays with puzzles and basically runs around like a crazy person. It’s awesome.

So the other day I had this brilliant idea to try “Toddler Time” at 10:00am on Wednesday morning. I mean, she is a toddler after all. Right? Surely it would be a smashing success right?

Um, wrong.

Let me also add that group activities at 16 months old seems silly to even me.

Granted, if we’re all going to be honest with ourselves, while my sweetheart has a fairly structured naptime/bedtime routine, nothing else in her day is structured. We’re all pretty free spirited around these parts.

So, we ventured into Toddler Time (shockingly, 5 minutes late) we were greeted with (no kidding) 25 tiny humans looking at us like we’re aliens.

That’s right, 25. That means there were also 25 mommy’s as well.

So in a tiny room, which had the heat on entirely too high might I add, there were 50 people glaring at us…or so it seemed.

We squeeze into the circle and the librarian begins reading a story.

She was a fine reader and I’m sure she has some kind of librarian-ish degree on her wall, but my girl wasn’t having it.

Sure at home when all is quiet and there are no other tiny humans to be mesmerized by she’ll read 20 books at a time…but in a room filled with exciting new and tiny faces sitting still simply wasn’t an option.

Take in mind that all the other children were quietly sitting on their mommy’s lap listening intently.

I could feel her begin to squirm and I knew that our time was short.

My baby looks up at me like, “Mama, this is lame. I’m so outta here.”

You see, we also attend a music class on Thursday mornings where the littles sit on mommy’s lap for a song or two and then it’s a total free-for-all.  She can run around, dance, play instruments and basically have the time of her life.

I think she felt that “Toddler Time” wasn’t that sort of environment…

So, halfway through book number two she ventures into the middle of the circle looking to entertain someone…but no one was biting.

They were all actually listening! Those bratty little know it alls!

So, what does my child do when she’s bored with no hope of a song or dance anywhere in the future?

She lays on her back in the middle of the floor and cries for a brief moment to get my attention (which let’s face it, she already had), then pops up on her knees, points to me and says, “Ma!” Then points to the door, as if to say, “Let’s bust this joint Mama! These babies are LAME!”

So, I did what all structured, disciplined, awesome mommy’s wouldn’t do…I got our stuff and hightailed it outta Toddler Time…’cause it was LAME.

I was in total agreement.

So, we sat at table and did puzzles, talked about ladybugs and read some books.

It was perfectly perfect in every way.

Who needs group activities anyway?

1. The other day I ate 12 miniature peppermint patties in 1 minute. That’s right. There was no timer or contest, it was just me eating them ravenously. I don’t regret it. In fact, I’m kind of impressed with myself.

2. Also? I love Samoas guts. Like, really love ‘em. There is no limit to how many I could eat. While I have no record (yet), I love them with my whole heart. Thank you Girl Scouts, thank you.

3. Oh, and I love this too. That’s right. It’s my new bath tub! Every time I look at it, “Hello Lover” pops out of my mouth. Historically I’m not really into taking baths, I’m much more of a shower kind of girl…but with this beauty, times, they are a’changin’.

4. Also, I’m bigger than a barn. It’s true. I stood beside a barn today and practically swallowed it. It’s a real situation. My doctor assures me that I’m measuring “right on”…but I know he’s lying. If I’m having twins and he’s not telling me I’m gonna be real upset.

5. Speaking of twins, praise the Lord that no one has asked me (yet) if I’m growing two tiny humans in my womb. I think I may just burst into tears if they did. But we should get the tissues ready, because it’s inevitable. Some idiot will ask me and I’ll have to blush and say, “no, just the one” and then I will verbally abuse them in my head for the next 50 years of my life.

6. The other day I had a thought about what I was really good at. Ya know, like really good at…and NO LIE, three things popped into my head. 1.) Being a wife. 2.) Being a mommy and 3.) Being the best dang chubby bunny competitor on the planet. The fact that I am positive that I could beat anyone, anywhere, in a chubby bunny competition is a bit disturbing to even me. Do I need counseling?

7. I love my new house. LOVE IT.

8. Do all mamas think that their child is the cutest kid in the whole wide world? If not, I’m in trouble…my Bitzy just keeps getting cuter every day (even if she hates having her picture taken!).

9. I’m 31 weeks pregnant in case you’re counting. Not that I am or anything.

10. And finally, in an effort to covet things that I cannot afford I want to share this beautiful patio table with you, click here. Also, I want these chairs too (while we’re daydreaming of course).  I dare say that even if I were a bazillionaire I would feel weird about spending $900 on an outdoor table and $399 PER CHAIR, that my puppies could/would destroy. So since I’m NOT a bazillionaire I think I’m going with this patio furniture instead. Good and inexpensive, just the way I like it.

Love to all! Have a happy day!~

PS: Like my little stories? I would really appreciate it if you’d vote for me here and here.

As I have confessed before, I am no scientist. In fact, I am not ashamed to say that I stopped listening during science lessons in about the first grade.

No really.

I do not understand science and I think that I’m kind of allergic to it. It makes me all itchy.

Now, I must do some back tracking. Bear with me.

Growing up, my parents stressed the importance of academics. Good grades were not just encouraged, but expected.

So, I made good grades. I’m not convinced that I was especially smart, but somehow I figured out a way to be in all honors classes and I made good grades without too much anxiety.

The interesting part here is that English and History both came fairly easily to me. I could memorize facts quickly and ace tests with little problem.

The real issue came with my math and science classes…because well, you actually have to understand concepts and such in order to do well. I stopped listening in science in 1st grade. I made it to 4th grade in math, but then I was a goner.

Looking back I realize that I totally fell through the cracks. Most kids “fall” into classes that are too easy for them, nope not me. I, by some miracle, was placed in honors math and science classes when I should have been assigned a tutor to help me through remedial classes.

But, again, I slipped right through those cracks.

How did I cope with this you ask?

Studying a lot? Nah, I had too many other activities to focus on. Clearly studying was a horrible option. It didn’t fit into my social calendar people! I was busy!

Mainly, I declared that all of my teachers were my “coaches.” Therefore, I called them all “Coach” all the time. Also, I combed my hair a lot. And finally, I did a lot of whining. These, my friends, are a winning combination in school. Take notes friends, this is good stuff.

So, to recap, the secrets of success in middle school/high school are…

1. Call all of your teachers “Coach.”

2. Comb your hair constantly.

3. And finally, whine a lot to stress that you “just don’t get it.”

These three things my friends will ensure that your learning will be at a minimum and your grades will soar.

That is, unless you have a very, very, very old and crotchety teacher that has seen your game before.

That said, my junior year of high school I took honors Chemistry. I was nervous as all get out for this class.

The year before I took an honors/AP Biology class and it didn’t go very well (as you could imagine with my 1st grade credentials and all), so I came to class armed with a winning smile, my hairbrush and the most charmingly pitiful whining face I could muster.

I had heard a few nasty remarks about this teacher (aka: my chemistry coach), but sometimes I had a way of charming even the most miserable of educators.

NOTE: In this case, I was not only amazingly uncharming, but somewhat annoying I’m sure.

The whole class began on the wrong foot as I was sat beside a boy who seemed to draw my already flirty high school self into high gear. I was doomed.

Good thing I had my hair brush to save me.

Too bad that after combing my long blonde hair for a good 45 minutes straight on  the first day of class, he asked me to put the brush away. WHAT?  Clearly he did not understand that the hairbrush was the key to my sucess. Not only did it provide hours of entertainment, but it helped me to put things into perspective. I didn’t need Chemistry…but I did need shiny hair. He was ruining my life!

After a full semester of my antics (and terrible grades) I pulled out my big guns and had the “I want to understand, but I just can’t” conversation in his office. This convo was my fall back. It was the way to ensure an “A” in all of my classes.

His response, “If you spent less time worrying about your hair and boys maybe you could focus and actually learn something.”

Ouch. How rude! He was plotting against me!

Needless to say, I had to actually study for the last few tests in order to make a lousy B- in this terrible class. My so-called charm was completely lost on this teacher. But don’t worry, I didn’t give up my system…How do you think I graduated college?

PS: Like my little stories? I would really appreciate it if you’d vote for me here and here.