I love scary movies.

Always have.

When I was little, maybe around 8 or 9 I was watching hugely inappropriate scary movies in terror, unable to tear myself away. After the typical scary movies of the Freddie Cruger variety I happened upon Alfred Hichcock.

Oh Alfred, what a genius you were.

I find my love for Mr. Hitchcock quite strange as I cannot watch a black and white film now for more than 5 minutes. How did I have the attention span back then to watch hours of his films?

Strange indeed.

Anyway, my affair with Vampires started innocently enough with Bella and Edward (note I did not mention Jacob.Yuck!). I tore through each Twilight book with reckless abandon and have watched every movie and loved every second. Read more about my Twilight love here.

But then, ever innocently, my friend Megan who shares very similar TV taste as me, (kind of like my TV soul mate), encouraged me to begin The Vampires Diaries. I mean, 3 full, commercial-less seasons on Netflix? It’s a TV addicts dream come true. She described it as “One Tree Hill with Vampires.”

As an original One Tree Hill fanatic, that was enough to convince me.

So, now?

I’m addicted. Like at nap time I’m practically running around like a maniac to finish my “chores” so I can watch this show. It’s ridiculous really.

I am so on Stefans team. Damon? What a meanie. Edward and Stefan forever!

I’m mid-way through Season 2 and it just keeps getting better and better!

So here is my plea. If you are not watching The Vampire Diaries, you simply must start. It’s fantantic.

Allow me to be your TV soulmate. Trust me peeps.

Are you already watching? If so, are you on team Stefan or Damon?

And GO!

I have rediscovered Pop Tarts. It was circa 1984 the last time I had one of these amazing rectangles of awesome and boy are they delicious. This could be a very, very, very bad thing.

Thanks to a certain Hulu Plus, I am all caught up on One Tree Hill. There was a time that I wondered how it would survive without Lucas and Peyton, but now I wonder no more. It is freaking fantastic.

Two words that I couldn’t spell if my life depended on it (this how I would spell them without the help of spell check)- Nessisary and Nessisarily. I just can’t seem to get it right!

I am loving NBC’s The Voice right now. Although, I could really do without Cee Lo Green’sequined jumpsuit and creepy white cat. It’s just plain weird.

Also? Is Christina sort of a cartoon character? I want to see her once without make-up. Survey says that she would look at least a zillion times better. Plus, when a gal wears that much lipstick doesn’t it get all over her kids face when she kisses him all day everyday?

Anyway, back to how I can’t spell. What about disentary? I realize that this is a word that you would only see when playing Oregon Trail back in 1991, but still, I would love to know how to actually spell it.

I cannot express to you the joy it brings me to find tiny little princess shoes scattered throughout the house. There is something so beautifully heartwarming about finding Bitzy’s pink ballerina slippers in my closet. I’m so grateful to have a little girl.

Then, tonight as I was folding clothes (my least favorite chore), I matched two itty bitty baby boy socks and told Zach, “I can’t believe that there is a person so tiny that lives in this house who can wear these wee little socks.”

Another word? Fanactical.

I want another pop tart.

I confess that these two exhaust me in a way that I never thought possible…but I confess moreso that I have never been more in love with these tiny little humans than I am right now.

Have a fun Friday ya’ll!

I feel bad for celebrities.

I really do.

Can you imagine the nightmare of never leaving your house without cameras surrounding you?

How about seeing your picture in a tabloid with no make-up and your jammies?

Or explaining to your child why there’s a dude following you around with a camera?

Nightmare.

Granted, they are getting paid several million dollars for being in silly movies, so it’s the price they have to pay, right?

While I do feel sorry for them, I still enjoy said photos.

It’s a guilty pleasure, what can I say?

Since I frequent people.com, I simply must share some updates with you about my celeb friends (since hopefully you, my dear readers, are much more classy than I, and do not read this trash).

First things first:

Oh Jessica, unless you are carrying around a bowling ball or a tumor in your belly, you are clearly preggers. Just say so. You had a TV show about your life for goodness sake. Clearly, you aren’t shy. How far along are you anyway? I’m going with 6 months.

Secondly, I must admit that I do not enjoy Scarlett Johannson. I’m sure that in real life she’s lovely, but I have never enjoyed her acting (I blame all the Woody Allen films). In fact, in every movie she annoys me to death. This picture only explains further why she drives me bananas.

Third (or is it thirdly?),

Jennifer Aniston is apparently “packing on the pounds” according to my friends at People. Really? Really? If she is, in fact, packing on the pounds, what does that mean for the rest of us? Geez.

Fourth (again, is it fourthly? Can someone please let me know about this all important question?),

Who is this person? She’s crowding up my tabloids and I have no clue who she is. They need to free up space for my friend Sandy, just in case she wants to show us her sweet little Louie.

Again, less of you, whoever you are…

And more of you…my  BFF Sandy.

Am I the only hopeless lady on the interwebs who loves ‘em some celebrities?

Please say no.

I make it no secret that I love television.

Clearly, I love my drama shows. Love them. They are all my personal friends and I refuse to believe that it’s all pretend.

(Yes, I am referring to Meredith and Derrick. Thanks for asking).

I also love a good comedy…although I must admit that it seems that the 30 minute family sitcom is few and far between. I have 3 comedy’s that I watch and 3 dramas that I watch every week.

(Hello Michael Scott).

While I love these shows, I’ve gotta be honest, Say Yes to the Dress on TLC is my most favorite show.

Too much? I think not.

Apparently I’m obsessed with wedding dresses.

Totally and completely obsessed.

Granted, I love, love, love all things weddings, so it’s not completely odd, but I’m normally more into the wedding details, rather than the obvious things…like the dress.

Thanks to this show, I simply must have a renewal ceremony of our vows every 10 years.

Do you think that would be overdoing it?

Nah.

After I drool over the beautiful wedding dresses I cry over A Baby Story.

When I say cry, I mean cry. Like big ugly crying that ends with black mascara running down my cheeks. It kills me every time.

My latest love? Actually, love is strong. It’s more like a train wreck that I am glued to and can’t look away. You guessed it, Toddlers and Tiaras. I’m torn between calling Child Protective Services and laughing hysterically at these completely ridiculous people. My favorite line so far you ask? That’s easy. “My goal in life is to have my daughter become Miss America.”

Really? Really? Really?

Is she being paid? There is no way that that is her life’s goal.

Also? Said child is 15 months old.

Now remember that My Bitzy is 14 months old. Just thinking about doing the things to my baby that this crazy mama is doing to her baby makes me cringe. For one thing, Bitzy would have none of it. Things like baby fake nails, blow drying and curling hair, and duct taping a dress to her tiny little body wouldn’t exactly fly with my girl. Bitzy has no tolerance for getting her clothes changed, much less any of the above activities.  Again, CPS anyone?

Also? She actually said, “I just don’t know how my girl will react if she doesn’t win. She loves to win.” I hate to break it to this insane mama, but if you’re kid is 15 months old I’m not quite convinced that she’ll be heartbroken if she doesn’t win the crown. Give the child some goldfish crackers and some milk and she’ll survive.

Then there’s My Strange Addiction.

Oh my.

“I’m addicted to wearing fur suits.”

“I’m addicted to pulling out my hair.”

“I’m addicted to eating couch cushions.”

“I’m addicted to eating toilet paper.”

“I’m addicted to eating laundry detergent.”

Need I say more?

Well, maybe that my strange addiction is watching crazy shows on TLC.

There, I said it.

TLC is awesome. Way awesome.

I admit it, I’m a glutton for punishment with all the silly tabloid magazines.

The silver lining?

I don’t actually buy them, I just read about all the crazy celebrity gossip online. Does that make it more acceptable?

I know what you’re thinking. “When do you have time to care about celebrity gossip?” Answer: There is always time, always. Mostly my ravaging happens after my dear ones are asleep (and I wonder why I’m tired all the time).

Anyway, let’s get down to business. We have much to discuss.

1. First and foremost, People Magazine teaches me about fashion…and about how out of touch I am. Apparently wearing Gap jeans and Merrell shoes every day of your life isn’t in style. To that, I say, “Pssh on you People Magazine. Style follows me, I don’t follow style.”

My gossip websites tell me that Leopard print is way in style these days. Let’s take a look…

Now I don’t know about you, but these gals look like street walkers to me. No? I’m just not sure that bringing back Leopard print is a good decision for anybody. Thoughts?

2. Justin Timberlake is a shady cheater. US Weekly told me so. While I’ve never been a fan of Jessica Biel, cheating isn’t the answer Justin. Plus, the girl you cheated with looks angry (much like the “cheated on” Jessica Biel. Interesting how that works isn’t?).

For your reading pleasure I did a bit of research on Olivia Munn (the cheater) and apparently her “cause” is saving elephants from the circus.

Now, I think we’ve well established that I’m not an animal lover so if you are, bear with me. I’m sorry Olivia, but you choose to give your time and money to save elephants from the circus? Really? Not saving babies, ridding world hunger, saving abused women, curing Alzheimer’s, or even cleaning up the environment.  You choose elephants? Interesting choice.

3. Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal. Isn’t that like dating your uncle? She’s like 13 and he’s 45. Totally gross. Actually, she’s 20 and he’s 29, but still. She’s way too young for him. I give ‘em 2 months (which means they’ll get married because I’m ALWAYS wrong about these things). I still think he and Reese Witherspoon belong together forever.

4. My favorite frenemy: Kate Gosselin. Without further ado, here is a recent picture…and a small reminder, pictures are worth a thousand words (or in this case a million words).

Need I say more? I think not.

5. In conclusion, I have a very serious question. Very serious indeed.

Has Reba had work? Just give it to me straight. I love, love, love me some Reba. Remember my Fancy story? Read it here. Reba and I have been friends for years and if she got work it’s gonna really hurt that she didn’t talk to me about it first.

So, what’s the verdit? Here’s a recent picture:

Here’s a picture a few years ago:

And then a few years before that…(by the way, I’ve been trying to recreate this hairstyle for myself and it’s just not working. Maybe I need more hairspray.

Be brutal. I need honesty here people.

I’m a former addict of The View on ABC.

I admit it.

But here’s the rub, it made me nuts.

Like, really nuts.

I would get fiery hot with anger every single day while watching.

Truth be told, it’s Joy who mainly drives me bananas with a little help from Whoopie.

But then, my BFF Elisabeth would pipe in and I’d remember why I watched.  Plus, Sherry is pretty great too (sometimes).

As all good things come to an end, so did my View watching.

It was too stressful, my blood pressure couldn’t handle it.

Then, last week on Facebook someone posted a clip from the View. I innocently clicked on it to see Bill O’Reilly (who, for the record, I’m not really into) have a knock down drag out with Joy and Whoopie.

Ridiculous, I tell you.

Watch it here.

I mean, come on people.  Let’s get it together. Can two disagreeing sides not have a freaking conversation without storming off?

Shameful.

In other news, how is Elisabeth so skinny after 3 kids? Seriously.