There are many things about my appearance that have been neglected (happily) since having babies. Most notably, my hair and my toes. Back in the day I frequented the hair salon and the nail salon.

But now? It’s just too much work. Not to mention the cost. Mostly, I can’t stand to be away from my babies. Like, ever.

Cue my birthday. My sweet mother in law got me a gift certificate to get a pedicure with an offer to watch the babies so I could go. It was extremely thoughtful of her and I have been meaning to go but it has just never happened.

So a few nights ago as Zach and I were drifting to sleep, he says, “Ya know, you could use your pedicure gift card anytime you want. It would make you feel great.”

Hmmm…something was fishy. Zach has never cared a thing about my toes.

I say, “Basically my feet are grossing you out aren’t they?”

“Yes. Totally. Please, for the love get a pedicure.”

And the truth comes out.

So I hesitantly made an appointment for this morning and my mother in law agreed to come over and watch the babies. Did I mention how much I hate being away from them? Like, a lot.

When I woke up this morning I dreaded going. I questioned it, did I really need one? Was I being selfish? Would they be okay without me?

After getting over my anxious thoughts I resoved to go. It would only be an hour, right? We could handle being apart for one hour, right?

Then, I got the babies up, gave them lots of kisses and love, gave them a bath, played and then it was time to go.

It’s interesting that when I slipped in the drivers seat without any tiny humans in their carseats, I felt so free. I was thrilled to being alone.

(I hate admitting that. Does that make me a bad mommy?).

I drove the 3 miles to the nail salon and sat for a solid hour and didn’t speak one word. I was totally silent watching “The View” on TV and enjoying someone rub and scrub my feet.

It was glorious.

Again, am I bad mommy? Are these normal feelings?

Don’t they look great?

So, I did it. I left them and did something for myself. Even though I thoroughly enjoyed it, I still feel guilty.

What is wrong  with me????

Anyway, now, what to do with this hair? It hasn’t been cut for nearly a year and needs help. Any ideas?

Please excuse the no makeup. It’s how I roll these days. 

This was the sickest day of all, last Wednesday. Brother even watched a full 2 minutes of TV show before trying to jump off the bed.

Ya know those Facebook posts that says things like, “Everyone in my house is sick. Prayers needed,” or “Sickness is everywhere in my family, I’m the last man standing.” My newsfeed seems to be full of these kinds of status updates. I see them and don’t think much about them. I mean, kids get sick, right? No big deal.

Well, that is, until MY kiddos get sick. You see, we have been blessed with extremely healthy babies. In fact, Bitzy hasn’t even been to the doctor once since her 2 year well check-up 6 months ago! I love, love, love taking care of my little miracles in sickness and in health, but I gotta tell ya, I’m not used to the sick stuff. It’s tough.

A few weeks ago I had this whole guilt thing about how they weren’t be socialized enough and what a terrible mommy I was, yada, yada, yada. So I made plans to have a play date every single day of that week.

Silly me. 

I forgot about the small detail of GERMS.

I know, I know…it’s good for them and all of that. But after being in the sick trenches for a week I’m really doubting it.

They don’t know how to handle it and I surely don’t either. When they get sick, it’s a doozy.

My sick little sweetheart Bitzy. 

So last Monday afternoon they both seemed a little, “off.” Then, cue the snot. Oh, the wondrous snot. It came out of nowhere and is still pouring like rain.

So basically for 8 days straight we’ve been in this house. That’s right. We did try a “nature hike” on Saturday and a walk today, but mainly we’ve been at home. You see, I’m a firm believer in keeping kids home when they have any kind of disgusting goo coming out of their bodies. I don’t want other kids goo on my babies or vice versa. Goo is gross.

I know that other people (ahem) do not subscribe to this, and for that, I would like to ask you to reconsider. Please remember that next time you want to take your snotty children to the library (aka: germ factory), the nursery at church, the playground, wherever, please remember the 8 days, 8 DAYS PEOPLE, that I have been trapped in this house.

Last Friday (Day #4 of sickville), I took them to the doctor just for fun. I mean, I know it’s “just” a cold, but they seemed to be particularly miserable.

Lo and behold for the first time ever my Bitzy had an ear infection. I couldn’t believe it. Brother was perfectly fine, well, except for the green snot pouring out of his perfect tiny nose. “Just a cold,” the doctor said. First of all, there is no “just” in this childs cold. Secondly, didn’t you go to medical school? Give my precious little nugget something to make all the yuckies go away.

I mistakenly thought that getting the magic pink medicine  for Bitzy would be a cure-all for my sweetheart, but alas, she’s still a sicky. Granted, she’s MUCH better than she was, but she’s not quite herself.

This was a real low point for me. I actually allowed my children to eat ice cream for dinner since they’ve been on an eating strike. 

For example, she slept 14 hours straight last night: that’s NOT herself (normally, she’s good for a solid 12). Or today when we tried walking to the park and I carried her most of the way there and back: that’s NOT normal. Or the fact that the child has barely eaten at all for a week: NOT normal.

On top of all this she’s cutting her 2 year molars and her hands are constantly in her mouth. That’s not great for the whole germ issue.

So there you have it…I’ve been in sick mode.

BTW: On top of my precious ones being sick, Zach and I have been sicker than dogs as well. But as they say, misery loves company.

The good news? I think we’re mostly out of the woods. Despite the neverending snot, I do think the worst is over, thank Jesus in heaven.

The silver lining here is that I realize how much I take all of our health for granted. What a gift it is! There is nothing like being super sick and missing being healthy so much to make one appreicate the joy of feeling great.

Well, and the snuggles. I’ll take the snuggles any day of the week.

I have always been a casual coffee drinker.

Never anything serious.

I could take it or leave it really.

Even through college, only getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night regularly, I still didn’t care all that much about it. It seemed like a lot work to me. The addiction part of it, ya know? Like, what if I got stranded on a desert island and didn’t have coffee? I would be OK, but what do addicts do about the island scenario? These are really serious matters people!

(This is how my crazy brain works).

Enter: Skinny Peppermint Mocha’s from Starbucks.

Turns out that I just didn’t care about crappy office coffee.

I really care a lot about expensive sugary drinks from Starbucks.

But sadly, at $4 a pop, Starbucks isn’t exactly in the budget. And let’s face it, driving through Starbucks every day takes a lot of time.

Then, along comes Coffeemate and it’s delicious peppermint mocha creamer. Ah, it is so dreamy.

So, I began making an effort to make coffee most mornings. But honestly, with all the morning chaos around here, coffee simply wasn’t at the top of my list.

Then something miraculous began happening.

My amazing husband began making my coffee and unloading the dishwasher every.single.morning.

Talk about a game changer.

Not only did he lessen my workload in the mornings, but he gave me the precious gift of coffee.

Forget Starbucks, Maxwell House is fine by me.

So now, I have my 2 cups a day. Everyday.

Granted my teeth are a little worse for wear, but hey, the caffeine is worth it.

Anyone else addicted to the glorious taste of coffee in the morning? What’s your favorite?

And as for the island problem, I guess I’ll have to just figure it out when I get there. Ha!

Happy Valentines Day my friends!

Now that I’ve got a very crafty toddler we’ve been talking a lot about Valentines Day and cutting out zillions of heart (to later tear apart, dip into water and to destroy), coloring hearts and reading lots-o-books about this blessed day of love.

What my little Bitzy Boo doesn’t know is that I’ve got quite a bit of sugar planned for her tiny future. You see, while I’m not AS psycho as I once was about her eating sugar, I’m still a little nuts, so treats in general are a real rarity around here (well, for her anyway. I cannot confirm or deny having icing stashed all over the house for my eating pleasure).

But tonight, oh tonight. We will feast on PINK!

The pink cupcakes are made and ready with 4 different varieties of sprinkles, and clearly strawberry icing awaits as well.

I also made a new deliciously easy batch of cookies and I would love to share the recipe.

This recipe is from way back when my friend Bethany and I first moved to Louisville. We ate these…um…a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. They are SO GOOD- and so very easy. Here it goes.

The ingredients:

One box of cake mix (any kind will do)

2 eggs

1/2 cup oil

1/2 teaspoon of baking powder

food coloring is optional

Do not read the directions on the back of the cake mix…do this instead- Mix together the cake mix, eggs, oil and baking powder. Mixture will be thick. Then, if you want add food coloring. I wanted purple cookies so just like my Kindergarten teacher Miss Patsy taught me, I added red and blue together. Easy Peasy.

Then, roll into round balls and cook at 350 degrees for 8 minutes.

They will look something like this:

Then, decorate however you’d like. Bethany and I used strawberry cake mix with strawberry icing a lot, or lemon cake mix with lemon icing. Amazing. Also, this receipe makes KILLER chocolate chip cookies using a Yellow cake mix with chocolate chips. Check it out!

Here’s the finished product!

Happy Valentines Day everyone!

In an effort to ignore my dirty floors I’m feeling very reflective this Monday morning.

My Bitzy is at her Lolly’s, my baby boy is sleeping soundly and the sun is pouring in through our big beautiful windows. What a perfect way to begin the week.

This weekend we laid low and stuck around the house mostly. Those are the best weekends if you ask me. The ones where memories are made with crafts, playing pretend and snuggles.

In the midst of our beautifully boring weekend there were many tickle sessions. My babies? They love to be tickled. And Zach and I know the very best tickle spots.

That’s the crazy thing about being a parent. We know our babies inside out. We know the tickle spots that will make them chuckle, also the ones that will made them roar with laughter. They have different levels of ticklishness. Have you ever thought about that? That is a very intimate detail about a person. There are friends I have had for years that I have absolutely no idea where they are ticklish. But my babies? I know every last one. I know their favorite foods, toys and how to instantly make them feel better when they have a boo-boo.

I know them. Like, really know them, better than anyone.

I remember being a bratty teenager and my Mama once saying, “I know you better than anyone.” I’m sure that I rolled my eyes and stomped away like the brat that I was, but it’s true. She does. There is something about sharing life together that is so intimate, something that you can’t really put into words. Knowing someone so completely and understanding them is such a gift.

That said, if I know my babies so well and can read them so completely, how much more does God know us?

Luke 12:7 says, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.”

That’s right. God knows how many hairs are on our head. He knows our tickle spots too. And our tears and our sleep patterns and every single cell in our body. He made them after all.

He knit us together in our Mother’s womb (Psalm 139). He loves us with an eternal love (Jeremiah 31:3). He delights and finds joy in us (Zephaniah 3:17). He has counted our tears (Psalm 56:8).

I think that as people we all want to be known. We want to belong to someone, to be important and loved. I know that I do. It gives great pleasure to know that I am loved so completely by my family.

But more so, the greatest gift is being known and loved by my Creator. To grasp that the Creator of the whole wide world loves me. He loves me with all my ugly imperfections. He still loves me the most, more than I could ever imagine.

Of course He does. He’s my Daddy.

And He’s your Daddy too.

That truth can change your life.

The truth that God not only loves you, but knows you inside out.

That beautiful, amazing truth can give peace for the restless, hope for the hopeless, joy for the weary and love for the lonely.

That truth, can change the world.

My prayer for us all is to feel that love today in a very real and intimate way.

“Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; We are His people.” Psalm 100:3.

Amen and Amen.

I have rediscovered Pop Tarts. It was circa 1984 the last time I had one of these amazing rectangles of awesome and boy are they delicious. This could be a very, very, very bad thing.

Thanks to a certain Hulu Plus, I am all caught up on One Tree Hill. There was a time that I wondered how it would survive without Lucas and Peyton, but now I wonder no more. It is freaking fantastic.

Two words that I couldn’t spell if my life depended on it (this how I would spell them without the help of spell check)- Nessisary and Nessisarily. I just can’t seem to get it right!

I am loving NBC’s The Voice right now. Although, I could really do without Cee Lo Green’sequined jumpsuit and creepy white cat. It’s just plain weird.

Also? Is Christina sort of a cartoon character? I want to see her once without make-up. Survey says that she would look at least a zillion times better. Plus, when a gal wears that much lipstick doesn’t it get all over her kids face when she kisses him all day everyday?

Anyway, back to how I can’t spell. What about disentary? I realize that this is a word that you would only see when playing Oregon Trail back in 1991, but still, I would love to know how to actually spell it.

I cannot express to you the joy it brings me to find tiny little princess shoes scattered throughout the house. There is something so beautifully heartwarming about finding Bitzy’s pink ballerina slippers in my closet. I’m so grateful to have a little girl.

Then, tonight as I was folding clothes (my least favorite chore), I matched two itty bitty baby boy socks and told Zach, “I can’t believe that there is a person so tiny that lives in this house who can wear these wee little socks.”

Another word? Fanactical.

I want another pop tart.

I confess that these two exhaust me in a way that I never thought possible…but I confess moreso that I have never been more in love with these tiny little humans than I am right now.

Have a fun Friday ya’ll!

Remember how I’ve become a crazy coupon lady? If you missed that segment, tune in now to get a full report on how I am officially a coupon nazi….

Actually, no, not this time. This little story is brought to you by way of my red hot flaming cheeks.

So tonight I’m at The Wal-Mart (shocking, I know), and I have a very full cart full of FREEBIES and other wonderful discounted items. As I have taught you, my dear ones, getting the right cashier is a major part of the battle. (PS: I saved 78% tonight. Yee-Haw!).

Admittedly, I have a favorite.

He is around 35ish, super nice and very, very, very fast. I’ve had him several times and by far and away he is my favorite.

So on my weekly trips to The Wal-Mart we have had nice chats about his other job, politics, his daughter, ya know, normal stuff.

Let me also add that your grocery cart really says a lot about you. Right? My cart says that-

A.) I’m a crazy person who buys 20 tubes of toothpaste at a time.

B.) I really love apples.

C.) I make a lot of love to my husband.

WHOA.

Whhhhhaaattttt? This little blog is certainly not X-Rated by any stretch, but I gotta tell ya, as far as my cashier buddy knows, according to my cart we are doing it like bunnies.

Why, you ask?

Well that would be because I get at least 3 bottles of KY Jelly every time I check out.

Again, why exactly?

They are FREE, people. In fact, The Wal-Mart pays me $1.75 per bottle to take them out of the store. Soooo…let’s just say that my stockpile IS NOT lacking in the KY Jelly department.

All that to say, as my dear cashier buddy rang up my coupon for the KY the register beeped.

Oh the dreaded beep.

Then he gives me this really strange look and looks down while grinning from ear to ear.

I innocently say, “What’s the problem?”

And he says, “It just asked me if the KY Jelly was a food item.”

And then, I died.

Honestly, I don’t know if my cheeks have ever burned the way they did tonight.

After several, “Ha, ha, umm…yes…um…I mean no…I mean…oh my…oh dear..okay..ha, ha’s…I mean, it’s free, ya know? I mean, umm…ha, that’s funny…oh dear…I mean, okay, no, free is free and stuff…” he changed the subject to politics and put me out of my 7th grade embarrassed misery.

It was truly and utterly mortifying.

And to be fair, I think he was pretty embarrassed too.

I wonder if he remembers the other 30 tubes that I’ve bought over the past few months?

Now THAT would be even more embarrassing.

Oh well, free is free after all.

In the wee hours of the morning as I was rocking and nursing my sweet Brother Bear, his nightlight cast a glimmer on my beloved wedding ring. Oh how I love this ring…and oh how I love the man who gave it to me.

As I watched it glisten I recalled this story and I had to hold back my thunderous laughter as to not wake up my baby boy. Because friends, this real life story still makes me laugh.

Let’s revisit this old goody together…{originally written in February ’10}.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My Bitzy is a mere 3 months old so the real truths of my horrible pregnancy haven’t vanished into sweet romantic memories.

She keeps me on my toes.

It’s early on Monday morning and the house is at rest.

All is quiet as my precious babies sleep soundly.

Before I had this amazing family and I was footloose and fancy free, silence made me uncomfortable. Like I needed to fill the space somehow. With music, talking, movies, friends, whatever. I never just sat still and enjoyed the quiet.

Now that our house is, how you say? Bustling, to say the least, silence is so fleeting that I must enjoy it while it lasts.

Now don’t get me wrong, the “MAMA PWAY TEA PARTY WIT ME?” from the sweetest little Bitziest voice ever, is truly one of the most precious sounds in the world. And Brothers new found “MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAA” is magic to my ears. And I love playing, enjoying and loving my babies (I think we’ve well established that), but when all is quiet and everyone is tucked safety in bed I relish the silence.

Everything Bitzy does is hilarious to Brother. He is her biggest fan.

In fact, sometimes after both my babies are asleep and I walk down the stairs I literally collaspe on the couch. Motherhood is not for the weak friends. It’s exhausting work…but I can say with confidence that it’s the most fun job in the whole wide world. I have never been so deliriously happy to play all day and yet so thrilled to sit and soak in the silence after bedtime.

Tonight when I was rocking Brother to sleep (actually it was 5:30pm because he has decided that one nap a day will do, so he’s been sleeping 14 hours at night- is that odd?), I thought about how nursing is such a great opportunity to sit still. There is really nothing else to do but to sit still and nurse your sweetheart. Especially my little Curious George. The stiller I am, the better. So I pray mainly. I pray for my babies, for Zach, for peace, help, love, joy. You know, the usual. But tonight, I tried to not do anyting at all. Just to sit with not a thought in my head. Just to enjoy the silence as I gazed at my baby boy.

It took a few minutes, but finally it worked.

And I loved it.

How, how, how have I missed this phenomenon of silence? Oh glorious silence, I’ll never try to mute you out again.

God says to “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) for a reason. I’m really going to work on this, because, silence? It’s good friends, real good.

Mother Teresa so eloquently said what my heart feels, “In the silence of the heart God speaks. If you face God in prayer and silence, God will speak to you. Then you will know that you are nothing. It is only when you realize your nothingness, your emptiness, that God can fill you with Himself. Souls of prayer are souls of great silence.”

May you all experience the joy of silence today as well.

Last night, around 3:00am, Zach let out a loud yell. Not so much a scream, but more of holler as they say.

It woke me up obviously. I’m not accustomed to my darling Zach yelling in the middle the night (a certain baby boy on the monitor I’m very familiar with however- ahem).

So I roll over and shook him awake.

Me: “Are you okay? You just yelled.”

Zach: “Oh, that was just my battle cry.”

Me: “Your battle cry?”

Zach: “Yes, I’m a warrior.”

And at that he drifted back into a deep sleep.

Can I just say that I love my husband?

I love that he dreams about being a warrior. I love that he has a battle cry. I love that he is a man.

A real man.

I love that he can fix most anything and that he isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty.

I love that he is willing to fight for our family.

I love that I can ask him to draw a flower, grow a flower or buy me flowers and that he can and will do all three.

I love that he makes me proud to be his wife.

I love that he is stronger than an ox.

I love that he is a man of courage, honor and integrity.

I love that he loves me and can show me that love without hesitation or embarrassment. He’s so very good at loving me well.

I love that he loves our babies so much. He is truly the best daddy in the whole wide world.

I love that he learns more about how to be man and a warrior through God’s Word every day.

I love that not only dreams about being a warrior, but that he is one.

My warrior.

My hero.

Hands off girls, he’s all mine.

Growing up I always had bright blonde hair. It wasn’t platinum by any stretch, but it was a pretty shade of blonde. The older I got, the darker it got. It went from bright blonde to more of a honey blonde and then to a carmel blonde and finally to a dirty, dirty blonde.

After two babies and breastfeeding hormones pumping away (ha, get it? I crack myself up), now it’s dark blonde. Apparently my hormones don’t like pretty blonde hair. They like mousey blonde/brown hair.

I’m told that this is normal, is it? Is this yet another way that I’m a total weirdo?  Has this happened to anyone else?

Before Brother was born and I worked part-time I would visit my trusty and talented hairdresser for all of my coloring needs. But now, our budget simply doesn’t allow it. Zach has begged me to go, to bite the bullet and pay the money, but I just can’t. Once you become insane about {not} spending money, dropping $100 on hair just doesn’t make sense to me like it once did.

At first, I was in total deniel that I even needed color. I figured that I would “get used” to having darker hair. In fact, I went nearly 6 months without any coloring help at all.

It was a sad, sad time.

Then, it occured to me that maybe, just maybe I could do it myself. All I had to do was follow the instructions on the box, right? I mean, how hard could it be? So, I bought a highlighting kit. When I got it home and read the directions I saw the cute little cap. It was then and there that it became clear that in no universe could I hightlight my own hair. Patience is NOT my bag, it’s just not. And, let’s face it, my darling husband isn’t exactly hairdresser material.

So I gave up for a few days and declared that having pretty hair was a thing of the past.

But then, I thought of my friend Candyce. Candyce is one of those people that knows something about everything. So, I emailed her and gave her the scoop.

To my delight, she knew exactly what to do! She gave me detailed instructions on what to get for an all over color. Forget the highlighting kit! Putting a bunch of chemicals all over my head like shampoo is much more my speed.

Like a good little student I followed her instructions to the letter. After my babies were in bed I went to get this sacred box of beauty. When I got home I did exactly what the kit said to do.

And, wait for it…

It wasn’t terrible.

It wasn’t great, but definitely not terrible.

I tried to convince myself that it was totally awesome to have semi strawberry blonde roots while the rest of my hair was kind of a mix between brown and blonde splotches. Ever positive, I figured that it could be worse.

After a week or so, I went back to the store and got another kind. A lighter shade this time. At first I was timid to go too blonde because I felt like my hair was practically black.

Dramatic much?

And then, WAMMMOOOOO! It was great. In fact, it was kind of awesome.

So awesome that I’ve been using a box to color my hair for months now. The last time I got a haircut the hairdresser actually commented on how great my color looked. Imagine her surprise when I told her that it was from a box! Ha!

But like every little story there is sometimes controversy.

Cue: Last Night.

On my weekly trip to The Wal-mart, I casually looked for some color. I’m not true to a brand or even a certain color, I like to keep my options open in the world of hair coloring.

I had a price match and coupon for Loreal Healthy Look so I grabbed a box. When I got it I realized that it was on clearance for $5.00. Double score.

*Note to self: When buying hair color, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever buy it if it’s on clearance. Got it?

When I got home I innocently put on my chemical shampoo (that’s my pet name for my hair color. Isn’t it fitting?), waited my 10 minutes and washed it out.

As I got out of the shower I noticed that it looked a little dark, but no worries, I figured that when it dried it would be lighter and brighter.

Um, no.

It was brown.

That’s right.

Today, I was a brunette.

I would like to think that I looked like my bestie Sandy, but I fear that I did not.

For one thing, there are no tropicial flowers up in here and secondly, the sun hasn’t shined in months it seems. Well, and the obvious, that Sandy is a supermodel, and I am sadly, not.

Honestly today I really didn’t even think about it much. Something about chasing babies really takes my vanity away, in fact, I barely noticed it. But when Bitzy and Brother went to sleep I remembered.

Oh, did I remember.

I said to Zach, “So did you notice that I’m a brunette now?”

Zach: “Um, yes. It looks, um, great.”

Me: “Oh, come on! It looks nasty. Just admit it.”

Zach: “It’s not brown, it’s just darker. You’re so dramatic.”

Me: “I’m so not dramatic! Ah! It may not be brown, but it’s BY FAR the darkest it’s ever been.”

Zach: “I’ll give you that. But you look beautiful no matter what.”

Me: “Now that’s convincing. I’m going to The Wal-mart, be back soon.”

This time around I didn’t even take a coupon. It’s true, I admit it. Granted I still had a price-match, but I was on a mission to lose the brown, I could not be bothered with a coupon.

I found the most expensive box they had. It was $7.97, which in the world of hair coloring is a lot. And it was gold. It looked very fancy. It was the one.

It does say it’s “Superior” and “Luminous” after all. Granted, I have absolutely no idea what luminous means, but it sounds delightful.

Then, I did the whole routine and WALLLLLAHHHHHAAAAA, I’m blonde again.

Hallelujah!

I’m not cut out to be a brunette friends.

Long live the boxed blondes!

Have you ever had any hair dye disasters? Care to share?

Brother: “Hey you, get outta my toy!”

Do you ever look at your life and think you’re dreaming? Do you look at the pictures of your spouse and/or your babies and think that there’s no way that they’re yours?

No? Just me?

As if I needed another confirmation that I am completely crazycakes.

Sometimes at night when all is quiet and the babies are nestled snug in their beds I look at the pictures on the walls and think, “Are those my babies? When did that happen? Could it be?”

You see, they are my dream come true. Really and truly, they are.

The messes and diapers and tantrums and nap strikes and books and hair bows and vomit, are part of that dream. Granted, some of those things aren’t exactly fun, but they are part of the job. And now, at this very moment, I’m living the dream.

Bitzy is currently choosing to jump in her crib shouting “Zoom, Zoom, Zoom” rather than taking a nap, while Brother is sleeping soundly in his crib snuggled with his lovey. As I watch them on the video monitor my heart swells with gratitude.

I have always dreamed of being a Mama, but now that it has come true, it’s almost more than my heart can bear. It’s too wonderful, too amazing. I am simply in awe of how magnificent they are.

When I sit back and really think about the intricacy involved in creating a human being, I am stunned into thankfulness. How God so masterfully knit these beautiful creatures together in my womb and so generously gifted them to Zach and me. We are not worthy of such amazing gifts. But by God’s grace He continues to help us love and care of these babies.

I am humbled by the gift of them, I really am.

Life is so precious, I want to soak them up and memorize them every single day.

Thank you Lord for the gift of my children, You are so good.

The culprit

My very first post about poop was many moons ago. Read it here.

It’s sweet that I thought I was a Poopologist then. Ha, aha, ahahahahaha. Since then, I have earned several doctorates in the subject. In fact, almost every single day I wake up with a nice stew of pee and poop all over me.

Nice, eh?

You see, my sweet Brother bear has gone from being the best little sleeper ever, to, well, NOT the best little sleeper ever. Sure, he’s no Bitzy. He doesn’t hate sleep with the sincere hatred that she did as a baby, but still, I feel like we’re on a slippery slope.

{more to come on that later}.

All that said, he normally wakes up ready to eat, snuggle, cuddle around 6:00am. If I just feed him and lay him down in the crib he’ll scream his brains out, however, if I bring him into bed with me (Zach is long gone at this point) then he’ll eat and go back to sleep for another hour or two.

And clearly I don’t mind the snuggles, not one bit.

What I do mind? Him waking up every 3 hours during the night. You got that right. The child is 7 months old and he goes to bed at 7:00pm and wakes to eat every 3 hours until 6:00am.

What I mind more? The fact that his tiny little size 3 diapers simple cannot hold the massive amounts of excrement coming from his sweet little booty. I’ve tried double diapering, bigger sizes, changing him during the night…nothing works.

No matter what, ever single morning as I breathe him in and try to memorize the way his chest rises and falls, I also smell the sweet smell of baby poop as it oozes all over me.

Yummy, no?

Ah, motherhood.

Someday when I’m old and grey I will miss many things about my babies being tiny…but I have a feeling I will not miss being pooped on every.single.day.

Bitzy is a baker!!!!

Every single day I wonder why in the world God has blessed me so incredibly. I am selfish and prideful and rude and arrogant and many more horrible sinful flaws. I do not deserve these little angels.

They are so perfect, so innocent.

They rely on Zach and I for everything. In a way it’s incredibly comforting to know that I am able and willing to provide for their daily needs, but also their need for love, comfort and encouragement.  But in another sense it scares me to death. I am not qualified for this position! I didn’t take a test or study for this job. Somedays I feel so unprepared.

Brother all snuggled at the park!

This week as Zach has been on “staycation,” my job as a stay at home mommy has been exponentially easier. Right now we’re playing a man-to-man defense which is WAY easier than my usual zone defense Monday-Friday.

To tell you the truth I’m so nervous for Monday! Including the weekends he’s been off for 9 whole days!!!! Even though we didn’t go on a fancy vacation, it has been amazing.  We went to the park (even in the freezing cold), the zoo, the science center, and even had a few PJ days (my personal favorite).

An added bonus was that Brother decided this week that he hated taking naps. So, unfortunately we had a few days that he screamed his ever lovin’ brains out for an hour. If I were here without Zach I cannot promise that I would have let him cry…but with Zach I was strong, and yesterday our sweet baby boy slept for 3 hours straight for nap!!! Amazing.

So tomorrow to further increase my nervous nerves we’re heading back on the Weight Watcher train. It’s been a full month of debauchery, but it’s time to get back on the system. And, in case that wasn’t enough we’re going hard core on the Dave Ramsey Financial Freedom plan.

I’ll be writing more this week about all of these fun things:).

Hopefully I’ll still be in my right mind to write!!! Ha!

Have a happy Sunday!

I’m a little late to the party on the whole 2012 thing.

What a surprise, I know.

You see, Zach is on “staycation” this week, which is honestly the greatest, greatest, greatest thing ever. Why must he work I ask? Why can’t we just live on love? Why can’t be heirs to a bazillion dollar inheritance?

Questions for the ages I tell ya.

That said, things like writing a little story have been far from my mind. I’ve been too busy playing peek-a-boo and tea party. Which in my opinion are activities far more important than writing.

Does that hurt your feelings? Don’t take it personally.

So now that I’m officially four days overdue in writing the obligatory New Years Resolutions blog post, I figure that I’ll just skip it. I mean, clearly I want to lose weight (who doesn’t?), pray more, love harder, be better. Of course. But, resolutions just seem so, how you say, cliche.

Last year at this time I wrote this post. While we haven’t written a children’s book (yet!), we have successfully accomplished all of our other goals which makes my heart happy.

Some highlights from 2011:

We birthed the worlds most precious son. He is truly a blessing straight from the hand of God. To say that we are in love with him doesn’t do our deep love justice. He is truly amazing.

Our Bitzy has grown and changed so much in the last year. She is incredible. Last year at this time she was grunting and pointing, now she is singing songs and counting to 25. She’s simply a miracle.

In the past year our house payment has doubled and our income has been cut in half, yet we have still managed to not go into debt. This to me is a major accomplishment.

I have begun what I like to call, “The Great Coupon Adventure” and I love it. It’s saved us a bundle and it’s very, very, very fun.

But more than anything, I am grateful that in 2011 God taught me so much about who He is. About what a loving Father He is, how much He loves us all and how available He is to us. I am so amazed that I get to be His daughter.

So friends, as we begin the journey into 2012 I wish you all good health, happiness, and more than anything, love. Sweet precious love.

Thank you all for helping make 2011 amazing. Here’s to making 2012 even better!

In my mind, everything is a Hallmark moment.

So, obviously everything is set in candlelight. Apparently, in my mind it’s always dark outside, hence the candles.

Also? There are children laughing and tiny feet pit pattering all over the house. There are no naps in my mind and memories.

And there is always, and I mean always, pie. Any kind will do. Just pie. P-I-E.

While my life is beautiful and fabulous and I would not trade it for a zillion trillion bazillion bucks, it’s not always picture perfect. And sadly, there are hardly ever pies.

In fact, it’s more like a circus around here than anything. A wonderful and entertaining circus, but still yet, a circus.

There are tantrums and tears, messy meals and lots of screaming. Mainly the happy sort of screaming, but still, a scream is a scream. And when you multiply the happy screams with the sad screams with the hurt screams with the idon’tknowwhyiamsadijustam screams, that’s a whole lotta screaming.

I do it love though. Every single bit of it. It may not be perfect, but it’s perfect for me.

Have I mentioned lately how much these two slay me? So freaking precious.

I’d like to introduce you to someone. He is a very special addition to our family these days.

His name is Leonard.

You see, he’s a magic elf.

He has randomly visited our house over past few weeks, dropping off gifts and promises of what’s to come on Christmas morning.

While we’ve never seen him, as he prefers to visit during bedtime/naptime hours, we love him and speak of him fondly.

In fact, every time a certain man in a brown uniform comes to the door Bitzy asks if the boxes are from Leonard. Sometimes they are, and sometimes they are whisked away quickly to Gammy’s room (AKA: Santa’s workshop).

Talking about Leonard and Santa Claus is pure old fashion fun. Bitzy and Brother are still too young (in my humble opinion) for Elf on the Shelf, plus, I’m not so into the naughty/nice part of Santa. I prefer the anticipation of Christmas, the gifts, and the spirit of fun and giving. With all of our talk of Leonard and Santa we’ve been talking much more about how it’s Jesus’ birthday! We’re having Him a party full with balloons, a birthday cake and candles. We’re talking about how the wise men brought presents and that’s why we do too. I’m not sure how much they are actually soaking in, but seeing as how my Bitzy is such a little sponge these days, I’m hoping she’s getting it all.

Since our babies are so young we’re going to celebrate Christmas morning tomorrow, so tonight is our Christmas Eve. I have Jesus’ birthday cake baked, as well as cookies for Santa. We picked out a big round onion for Rudolph to eat too!  All the presents are wrapped and (I think) we’re ready!

So tonight when daddy gets home we’ll decorate the cake, cookies and party it up for baby Jesus. After it’s all done we’ll get cuddled, read the Christmas story of how Jesus was born in a manager and then read The Night Before Christmas.

While all of this has been a lot of work, I’m so overwhelmed and grateful for the opportunity to begin creating traditions and memories for our little family. In fact, today as I was mopping I thought, “We are creating memories for our children that they will always remember and cherish. We are the memory makers.” Tears stung my eyes at this opportunity and responsibility.

More than Leonard or parties or cookies, I want our babies to remember being loved and wanted and wrapped in our arms as we treasured the gift of the baby Jesus.

On this Christmas Eve Eve, may you snuggle close with you family and friends and soak it all up, every single bit of it. Because friends, this life, this beautiful, wonderful, mysterious, fun life is indeed a gift.

I love Christmas.

Like, a lot a lot.

Before I had babies, I really liked it. But, now? Oh, it’s just magical.

In the next few days, I’ll detail more about our Christmas adventures, including random visits from Leonard the Elf, our visit with Santa, and how we are trying to share the magic of Santa with the truth and beauty of Christ coming to Earth as a baby boy.

But for now, here is our Christmas house!!!! To say that I love it is an understatement.

I think it’s the twinkle lights…they get me every time.

Well, and this little reindeer. He’s a dreamboat.

Our Christmas dining room where we will host a family Christmas Eve breakfast.

“The Magic Stairs” as we call them these days.

Ah, the mantle. All my life I’ve dreamed of decorating a mantle for Christmas, and now I can. Have I mentioned how much I love our house, mantle and all? LOVE IT.

Tiny details like this throughout the house.

And our 9.5 foot tree…TA DA.

Bitzy and I sitting on the fireplace just snuggling. My babies are the best Christmas present ever.

And as Bitzy says about 100 times per days, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!” Ha!

Ya know those moments in life where you want time to stop? The moments that should be frozen in time and celebrated again and again?

We had one of those yesterday.

Typically Monday mornings are tough because we’re all adjusting to Daddy being at work. I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. Bitzy especially has a tough time. It’s a real heartbreaker when she wakes up in the morning all bright eyed and bushy-tailed and in the middle of reading books, rocking and nursing she looks at me and says, “WHERE DADDY AT?” I say, “Oh baby I’m so sorry, but Daddy is at work.”

Then the cries come.

The desperate, “NO, NO, NO. I WANT MY DADDY. I MISS MY DADDY. HE COME HOME NOW?”

It’s truly pitiful.

After she rejoins the world from the pit of her despair we all have to readjust.

That said, sometimes Mondays are a good day for an adventure. We get out of the house and “go to town” as my Mama would say.

So yesterday we had some errands to run, nothing major, but a few things that needed to happen. Things like picking up a prescription, using a Groupon at the store, and picking up an order at the mall.

Note: This is literally only the second time in Bitzy’s life that she can remember ever going to the mall. We’re just not really mall people. We’re Amazon.com people.

Anyway, picture us strolling into the mall in our Cadillac double stroller (which is somewhat like driving a tractor trailer. It’s big and loooooonnnnggggg), while I’m wearing Brother in the Bjorn. Bitzy is all, “WOW, WHOA, DID YOU SEE THAT MAMA? AWESOME! DOWN, PLEASE DOWN MAMA! I GET DOWN, DOWN, DOWN PLEASE!” Note that she’s just looking at racks of clothes and imagining how she can destroy as many displays as possible. It’s not like little elves are dancing at her eye level. Just boring racks of clothes.

I really resisted the urge of letting her frolic aimlessly in the department store, so we finally made it out into the mall  as I was convincing her to be patient.

But then, oh then it was all worth it. “MAMA, DID YOU SEE? IT’S A HORSEY IN THE SKY. IT’S A SUPERHERO HORSEY IN THE AIR. OH MAMA, THANK YOU FOR MY WATERFALL HORSEY IN THE JUNGLE!”

There is a place in one of our malls here with a pond of sorts. There are coins in the water made from hundreds of wishes and horses dancing through the sky. There are even huge palm trees.

When I looked around through 2 year old eyes, that is exactly what I saw. Horses flying through the sky and waterfalls in the jungle. As she looked around, she was amazed. Truly amazed. Then, she made up a story about the horses. “MAMA, THE HORSEY IS STUCK IN THE JUNGLE. I SAVE THEM. I SUPER BITZY BOO!”

And then, she said, “WHERE ALL DAT MONEY GO? I NEED MONEY TOO!”

I told her that sometimes people make a wish and throw money into the water and their wishes all come true. Then I said, “Bitzy, what’s your magic wish?”

She said, “I CLOSE MINE EYES AND MILLIONS OF WISHES FOR MY MOMMY TO BE BEST FRIEND ALWAYS. AMEN!”

And then, I died from delight.

All the while, my baby boy is laughing at Bitzy like she is the funniest thing in the world (which she is, if you ask me).

This simple moment was absolutely magical.

After lots of storytelling and laying on the ground looking up at the jungle (Bitzy, not me), and even laying on her belly gazing into the water (and me asking her NOT to lick the floor), I convinced her to run, run, run and find “The Nuggie House.” AKA: Chick Fila.

While we’re “running” which is really a whole lot more like prancing, we walk by a store that has music blaring. She stops and says, “MY MUSIC! IT’S TIME TO DANCE EVERYONE! I DANCING, I TWIRL. I A BALLERINA! MAMA, YOU DANCE WIT ME?”

Oh my goodness. Seeing my beautiful precious girl twirling and dancing in circles and literally making every person within ear shot smile from ear to ear, well, it just made my heart sing.

So, we danced. My Bitzy, Brother and I we danced right there in the middle of the mall with our tractor trailer stroller and diaper bag for a good 5 minutes. She didn’t want to stop…

And neither did I.

Dear time, please stand still. I’m having the time of my life.

Where have I been, you ask?

Well, basically having the time of my life! Literally.

I don’t want to be all cliche and annoying, but honestly, having a loving, handsome husband and two adorable babies makes for one happy mama!

Also, I’m thrilled to report that I am officially a stay at home mama now. This is a long answered prayer and I am overwhelmed that God has so graciously given my family this gift. This is my dream job!

Being with my sweet ones all day, everyday, is honestly my dream come true.

I am also able to serve Zach in many simple ways that add up to be gifts that I love to give him. Things like, the gift of dinner on the table every night when he gets home from work, a clean house, clean clothes, the gift of praying for him throughout the day, but most importantly the gift and mission of kissing every boo boo, teaching every song, dancing every dance and loving on our babies all day long. Like I said, it’s a dream come true for both Zach and I.

I cannot, and will not take this gift for granted.

So, that said, here’s what we’ve been up to…

This, my friends, is the good life.

Some days I feel as if I could sit down, put my fingers on the keys of my laptop and words would burst out of my soul. I would write beautiful, smart, witty things that would inspire and provide laughter to the masses.

But shockingly, a 22 month old and 3 month old really don’t care about said minute and demand my full attention.

Hence, I guess we’ll never know if those words truly would pour out of me.

Probably not.

I would get distracted by People.com or the mountains of laundry that need to be folded and put away and then those words would be bottled for another day.

The real truth is that when the babies are finally asleep I am far too exhausted to spell my name much less write anything that is coherent, much less meaningful.

That said, the utter exhaustion that I am experiencing is the most precious place that I’ve ever been. These sweet babies are growing so rapidly that I can hardly keep up.

Bitzy’s language development is tripling by the day and my sweet baby boy now weighs 17 pounds! Amazing how they grow isn’t? What a wonderful way to spend my days.

Someone much smarter than me once said, “How you spend your days is how you spend your life.” So true. I feel overwhelmingly blessed to spend my days picking up toys, kissing boo-boos, changing diapers, reading books and loving on these two sweet ones. Even with Bitzy’s new term, “No way!” for everything I ask her to do, which results in time-outs and tantrums, and with Brothers new desire to only sleep in my arms (which clearly I LOVE), I am amazed that I get to be with them all day, every day. It is a gift that humbles me.

So, at this point in my life no profound words will be written anywhere but my heart, as I desperately try to memorize the moments that are flying by.

Maybe when I’m 50 I will write something fabulous.

Until then, this is all you get.

Ha!

For as long as I can remember I have been a deal hunter. I am physically incapable of paying shipping for anything and heaven forbid I pay full retail for a piece of clothing. I just can’t do it. I am forever using coupon codes, getting cash back, and searching online for deals.

While I have mastered the art of online shopping, I hadn’t delved into the game of couponing…until along came a little show I like to call, Crazy Couponers. Sure, it’s really called, “Extreme Couponers,” but let’s face it, they’re all nutjobs.

While they are crazycakes to be sure, they are smart and savvy and I wanna be just like them.

So, I began slowly clipping coupons here and there, nothing serious. I wasn’t fully committed.

Then, along came the notebook.

You know the one. Like the one you had for senior English class.

That one.

When I opened up that notebook and gazed into the beautiful zippers and rings, I was smitten.

Then, I bought a new pair of scissors.

And then, I happened upon a document that would forever change my life forever.

The Wal-Mart coupon policy.

As we know, I am small town girl who now who frequents “The Wal-Mart.” So, this policy was very interesting to the likes of me.

The policy states that they will take competitors ads in addition to coupons.

What does this mean, you ask?

It means that if Walgreens has eyeshadow on sale for $2.99 and at Wal-Mart it’s $3.99, you simply tell your cashier at Wal-Mart that Walgreens beat their price and you get it for $2.99.

Then, if you couple that $2.99 with a coupon for $1.00 off, guess what? You’ll pay $1.99 rather than $3.99.

Easy peasy.

I’m still just a novice. I’ve only been at this for a few weeks and I am no where, and I mean NO WHERE near an expert, but I am thrilled to report that tonight I bought $129.88 worth of groceries and only paid $49.11!!!!

The best part? It’s stuff we actually use!!!

Here’s the haul-

Several of these items were free or more than half off!!!

Things like Gala Apples, Grapes, Diapers, toothpaste, paper towels, pasta, dishwasher tablets, salad dressing, dish soap, ketchup, the list goes on and on.

Last week I caught amazing deals on clearance meat (you have to use or freeze it within two days of buying it) and saved $50 on meat alone.

That said, I’m totally addicted. I am pretty sure that the days of running into the store to “pick up a few things” that resulted in a $75 trip are way over.

Happily over.

I figure that if companies want to give me their deeply discounted or free items I can spend the 2 hours it takes to plan my attack. Right?

But no worries, I have no plans to be on the TLC show…YET.

Love to all,

I have been accused of being many things in my life.

Some good, some not so good, but no one can ever accuse me of not taking enough pictures.

Often when I ride down memory lane I will remember the pictures I took at the time and then weave all the memories together.

What did people do without cameras back in the day? They were probably much more concerned about milling their own wheat and trying to not get eaten by bears, right?

Maybe that’s why in all the old pictures people look so mad. They’re just tired!

Anyway, it’s safe to say that I’m obsessed with my family, we’ve established that to be sure. Part of that obsession includes capturing each moment and taking time now and later to ooo and ahhh over my sweet ones.

That said, wanna oooo and aahh with me?

Shall we?

Oh lets!

Notice that Bitzy is trying to put her sunglasses on, upside down.

My big boy enjoying his head not flopping around. Neck strength is really something to smile about!

Enjoying the beauty of the mountains.

My sister Katie and Brother just hanging out.

My little explorer.

How about a little eggs and bacon for your morning bike ride?

Fun day at the zoo!

Ah, isn’t love grand?!

Have a great weekend ya’ll!

I hope and pray that God grants me a long life to experience all of these “somedays.”

Someday when I’m older I will stop a young mother in the store and say, “Cherish this time, it goes by too fast.”

Someday I will gaze into my grand babies eyes and swear that it was just yesterday that I held their daddy in my arms.

Someday I will look back on these days of frustration about naps and time-outs with Bitzy and laugh at how silly I was.

Someday I will zip up my beautiful daughters wedding dress and remember singing “Zip-a-dee-doo-da” every night as I put on her jammies.

Someday I will sit on the porch with my Zach and remember these days of library and zoo trips. The snacks, the nursing, the spit-up. I will cry and pray and beg God to protect my babies, to keep them safe and to give them a heart of kindness and love.

Someday I will cry tears of joy for the gift of these beautiful children, for the opportunity and privilege I have to be their mommy…just as I’m doing now, because it’s true: It just goes by too fast.

Someday will come before I know it. So…

Today I will cherish.

Today I will love.

Today I will laugh.

Today I will hug.

Today I will rock.

Today I will enjoy.