I’m currently between a state of bliss and panic. You see, it’s vacation time.  For the next 10 glorious days we’ll be travelling, visiting family and making lots of new and fun memories.

Translation: Packing is a ton of work. Like a ton, ton. 

Hopefully all of memories won’t be ruined if I forget something.

Anyway, it’ll be quiet here on the blog front while I relax and rest with my sweet little family. Well, as much as you can rest and relax with two tiny humans.

Not to worry, I’ll give you the skinny when we return.

Have a great week everyone!

But now? It’s just too much work. Not to mention the cost. Mostly, I can’t stand to be away from my babies. Like, ever.

Cue my birthday. My sweet mother in law got me a gift certificate to get a pedicure with an offer to watch the babies so I could go. It was extremely thoughtful of her and I have been meaning to go but it has just never happened.

So a few nights ago as Zach and I were drifting to sleep, he says, “Ya know, you could use your pedicure gift card anytime you want. It would make you feel great.”

Hmmm…something was fishy. Zach has never cared a thing about my toes.

I say, “Basically my feet are grossing you out aren’t they?”

“Yes. Totally. Please, for the love get a pedicure.”

And the truth comes out.

So I hesitantly made an appointment for this morning and my mother in law agreed to come over and watch the babies. Did I mention how much I hate being away from them? Like, a lot.

When I woke up this morning I dreaded going. I questioned it, did I really need one? Was I being selfish? Would they be okay without me?

After getting over my anxious thoughts I resoved to go. It would only be an hour, right? We could handle being apart for one hour, right?

Then, I got the babies up, gave them lots of kisses and love, gave them a bath, played and then it was time to go.

It’s interesting that when I slipped in the drivers seat without any tiny humans in their carseats, I felt so free. I was thrilled to being alone.

(I hate admitting that. Does that make me a bad mommy?).

I drove the 3 miles to the nail salon and sat for a solid hour and didn’t speak one word. I was totally silent watching “The View” on TV and enjoying someone rub and scrub my feet.

It was glorious.

Again, am I bad mommy? Are these normal feelings?

Don’t they look great?

So, I did it. I left them and did something for myself. Even though I thoroughly enjoyed it, I still feel guilty.

What is wrong  with me????

Anyway, now, what to do with this hair? It hasn’t been cut for nearly a year and needs help. Any ideas?

Please excuse the no makeup. It’s how I roll these days. 

My Bitzy is a sticker fanatic. There are stickers on windows, floors, furniture, baby dolls, you name it, it has a sticker on it.

As we have been s-l-o-w-l-y gearing up for potty training (that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah), I’m excited for stickers to be her treat, rather than candy.

Naturally, when PrintRunner contacted me about hosting a sticker giveaway I was thrilled! Now, thanks to PrintRunner, I will receive a set of stickers for hosting this along with the winner! Hooray!

I plan to design a “potty training” sticker for Bitzy. t’s super fun and easy to create custom stickers for your family as well. Try PrintRunner’s stickers printing through their online printing services.

My darling girl has been very into Dora lately, so I’m thinking this one will be a big hit. What do you think? Do you think it will entice her to give up the diapers once and for all? {please say yes}.

Want some too?

You can enter to win 250 Full Color Standard Stickers from PrintRunner! These custom stickers are over a $40 value!

To enter simply leave a comment below telling what kind of awesome stickers you would like to design.

In order to earn extra entires you must “like” PrintRunner on Facebook and leave a comment telling me you did.

Also, you can tweet the following for an extra entry, just leave a comment telling you did with your Twitter Name, “@Littlestories and @Printrunner are giving away stickers!!! Enter to win by May 27th at 11:59pm!”

Deadline of submission is May 27 at 11:59pm. *Giveaway is open to US Residents only, ages 18 years old and above.

Good Luck!

 

This was the sickest day of all, last Wednesday. Brother even watched a full 2 minutes of TV show before trying to jump off the bed.

Ya know those Facebook posts that says things like, “Everyone in my house is sick. Prayers needed,” or “Sickness is everywhere in my family, I’m the last man standing.” My newsfeed seems to be full of these kinds of status updates. I see them and don’t think much about them. I mean, kids get sick, right? No big deal.

Well, that is, until MY kiddos get sick. You see, we have been blessed with extremely healthy babies. In fact, Bitzy hasn’t even been to the doctor once since her 2 year well check-up 6 months ago! I love, love, love taking care of my little miracles in sickness and in health, but I gotta tell ya, I’m not used to the sick stuff. It’s tough.

A few weeks ago I had this whole guilt thing about how they weren’t be socialized enough and what a terrible mommy I was, yada, yada, yada. So I made plans to have a play date every single day of that week.

Silly me. 

I forgot about the small detail of GERMS.

I know, I know…it’s good for them and all of that. But after being in the sick trenches for a week I’m really doubting it.

They don’t know how to handle it and I surely don’t either. When they get sick, it’s a doozy.

My sick little sweetheart Bitzy. 

So last Monday afternoon they both seemed a little, “off.” Then, cue the snot. Oh, the wondrous snot. It came out of nowhere and is still pouring like rain.

So basically for 8 days straight we’ve been in this house. That’s right. We did try a “nature hike” on Saturday and a walk today, but mainly we’ve been at home. You see, I’m a firm believer in keeping kids home when they have any kind of disgusting goo coming out of their bodies. I don’t want other kids goo on my babies or vice versa. Goo is gross.

I know that other people (ahem) do not subscribe to this, and for that, I would like to ask you to reconsider. Please remember that next time you want to take your snotty children to the library (aka: germ factory), the nursery at church, the playground, wherever, please remember the 8 days, 8 DAYS PEOPLE, that I have been trapped in this house.

Last Friday (Day #4 of sickville), I took them to the doctor just for fun. I mean, I know it’s “just” a cold, but they seemed to be particularly miserable.

Lo and behold for the first time ever my Bitzy had an ear infection. I couldn’t believe it. Brother was perfectly fine, well, except for the green snot pouring out of his perfect tiny nose. “Just a cold,” the doctor said. First of all, there is no “just” in this childs cold. Secondly, didn’t you go to medical school? Give my precious little nugget something to make all the yuckies go away.

I mistakenly thought that getting the magic pink medicine  for Bitzy would be a cure-all for my sweetheart, but alas, she’s still a sicky. Granted, she’s MUCH better than she was, but she’s not quite herself.

This was a real low point for me. I actually allowed my children to eat ice cream for dinner since they’ve been on an eating strike. 

For example, she slept 14 hours straight last night: that’s NOT herself (normally, she’s good for a solid 12). Or today when we tried walking to the park and I carried her most of the way there and back: that’s NOT normal. Or the fact that the child has barely eaten at all for a week: NOT normal.

On top of all this she’s cutting her 2 year molars and her hands are constantly in her mouth. That’s not great for the whole germ issue.

So there you have it…I’ve been in sick mode.

BTW: On top of my precious ones being sick, Zach and I have been sicker than dogs as well. But as they say, misery loves company.

The good news? I think we’re mostly out of the woods. Despite the neverending snot, I do think the worst is over, thank Jesus in heaven.

The silver lining here is that I realize how much I take all of our health for granted. What a gift it is! There is nothing like being super sick and missing being healthy so much to make one appreicate the joy of feeling great.

Well, and the snuggles. I’ll take the snuggles any day of the week.

Throwback to 1997. My besties Brooke, Caroline, Karen and me. 

Among the interwebs there is a wave of “open letters” and lists of coulda, shoulda, wouldas about the past and offer advice. Some are wonderfully insightful.

Almost always blogs annoy me in their constant negativity, but in this case, I love the theme of looking back and offering advice to other folks…especially when it’s uplifting and positive.

With that in mind, today I am going to begin a series called, “Could.Shoulda.Woulda.” This series will include letters and lists to my former self, letters to young girls, young men, mommies and strangers.

I love the thought of rehashing the past and putting a positive spin on it to (hopefully) encourage others. I hope that this series will do just that.

So, here we go, here’s my very first little story of this series:

Top 10 Things I Wish I Would Have Known in High School

1. Your mother isn’t an idiot. She knows much more than you think. If you show her respect, chances are she’ll respect you right back.

2.  Wearing short shorts/skirts often make your legs look bigger than they actually are. I know that all your friends are wearing them and it’s hard to find modest clothes, but you can find modest shorts and skirts. Your legs will look much better in mid thigh shorts. Trust me on this.

3. Speaking of modesty, I know it’s hard to understand that boys look at your body before you heart. I still have a hard time understanding why it’s so difficult for guys to look into my eyes first, rather than my chest. But ya know what girls? That’s just the way they are made. God made men and women very differently. Part of the wisdom of growing up is understanding that you can curb their lust for you by your clothing. If you dress and act modestly chances are that boys will treat you more respectfully.

4. You’ve probably said or at least thought, “I don’t care what they think about me, I’ll do what I want.” You’ve probably thought this about your parents, siblings, friends or teachers. But darling, as a former 13 yr. old I can tell you that really, you do care very much. Very, very, very much. Don’t let your hormones and emotions get away from you enough to ruin your reputation, because sweet girl, your reputation means everything.

5. While I’m on the subject of reputation, let me give you a gentle reminder that your reputation will be with you forever. The decisions you make now will absolutely effect you later in life. I know that it seems like these four years are taking forever  and you’re bored and frustrated and annoyed at everything in your life, but acting out physically and/or emotionally is not productive. I still regret some of the ways that I treated people in high school based on my bad attitude. Every relationship you have in your life matters, treat them gently.

6. The Bible offers this extremely wise advice in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be misled, bad company corrupts good character.” I know that you love your friends. Maybe you’ve known them for a long time, maybe you just met. Either way, if they are drinking, doing drugs, having sex, stealing, cheating, and/or any other questionable activity, please hear me on this, it is not your job to fix them. It is not your job to be a good influence on them. It is not your job. It is not your job. It is not your job. Walk away from those friendships and invest in people that believe in good things. Luke 6:45 reminds us that “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” That means that whatever you are putting in, comes out. For example, if you are around negative, cursing, bitter people, guess what? Eventually rather than you raising them up they will bring you down. Don’t forget, how you spend your days is how you spend your life. Do not waste it with people that aren’t good influences on your heart and soul.

7. Boys. I know that you like them. I was a bit boy crazy in high school actually, so I know all about it. It’s awesome to get attention and for boys to say nice things, I know that. I really do. But I also know that in almost every single instance dating in high school is a mistake. You’re just too young. You are. You really are. You are too emotional and the boys are too hormonal which is never a good combo. The best case scenario is that you won’t endure massive heartbreak, the worst case is that you will. Enjoy your life with your friends (both boys and girls). Be foot loose and fancy free! Dance, laugh, sing, play sports, be in plays, be in every single club if you want, but resist the urge to get a boyfriend. You’ll thank me later.

8. Stay pure. This one is a tag-along to the one before. I’ve mentioned a few times that boys are hormonal basketcases during high school. Remember? It’s okay. God made them this way. Chances are that at some point you will feel pressure to have a physical relationship with a guy (even if it’s just a kiss). You’ll have romantic intentions and have Taylor Swift playing in your head as he reaches for you. But honey, please hear me. Taylor Swift isn’t playing in his head. He’s probably hearing something a little more like David Guetta’s “Sexy Chick.” Even if he likes you for your heart, when you tempt his hormones, it will be incredibly hard for him to resist you. This is a compliment to you sure, but you are playing with fire if you think your raging emotions and his raging hormones should ever be left alone together. Play it safe, don’t be alone with a guy. Like, ever.

9. Planning for college is important. Where you go is important. Studying is important. It’s all important. BUT, don’t allow the pressure of college to weigh you down. Remember that God loves you more than you know, if you allow Him to guide you, He will. He’ll do a much better job than you ever could.

10. Always remember that you are beautiful. On the inside and out. I know there’s a lot of pressure to be skinny and beautiful, but please realize that you, my love, are the daughter of the King. You are the apple of His eye. When you feel pressure, just remember that. You are loved by the Creator of the whole wide world. Proverbs 31 is a great chapter of the Bible to hang your hat (and your heart on), “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

So there you go, this is going into my Bitzy’s baby book, because sadly, someday my baby won’t be a baby anymore and I’ll tell her all these things. Excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep about that.

Do you guys have anything to add? Did I forget something important? Disagree with any of them? Do tell!

Remember the last time that I wrote about WW and I said my heart/head didn’t wanna play the WW game? Remember when I showed you fancy graphs of how my weight loss had flat-lined? Remember how I said I needed some inspiration?

Well, it’s 3 months later and today could write the exact same post.

Ugh.

I am happy to report that I did make it through Halloween, Christmas, Valentines and Easter and only gained 4 pounds. This, to me, is a miracle.

You see friends, the holidays are rough for the likes of me.

I literally ate a bag of jelly beans a day for 5 days straight. A BAG A DAY PEOPLE.

Hello, my name is Molly and I have a problem.

I’m pretty sure that Weight Watchers spokesperson Jennifer Hudson doesn’t eat a bag of jelly beans a day. She probably eats grilled chicken and celery. Her waist is tiny and beautiful and not filled with tiny jelly beans.

Thankfully, all the sugar has been banished from the house and I am on day 5 of WW. Like, the for real WW. The one where you actually count points, rather than thinking about how many points it may be and stuffing it in your mouth with reckless abandon. Ya know, the kind of WW that I’ve been doing for months. It’s not really working for me.

Newsflash, when I count points, I lose weight. What a miracle!

Ya know, calories in, calories out, yada, yada, yada.

Anyway, I’m standing here in front of all of you confessing my lack of disciple and confessing my desire to lose 12 pounds in 6 weeks.

I can totally do it. I know I can. I’ve done it before and I can again. If only I will stick to the plan!!!!

Wanna do it too? Pretty please with sugar on top. Lots of sugar. Or maybe Splenda?

Help people. WW is tough for a sugaraholic. I need all the help/encouragment/love that I can get! Tell me how you’re gonna join me. We can do this my peeps!

This brings me to a little story that happened yesterday morning at a playground near our house that we walk to frequently.

When we approached the playground I saw a little boy playing on the slide and at first glance I didn’t see a caregiver with him. I assumed they were around and I just couldn’t see them from far off. The closer we got I realized that he was alone.

I rolled the stroller up to the edge of the playground and got my babies out and scanned the playground again for an adult that should be with this child. I saw one white car about 100 yards away but appeared to be empty.

He came running toward us excitedly and true to form, Bitzy gave her usual introduction. “HI! MY NAME IS BITZY! WHAT’S YOUR NAME? WANNA PLAY WIT ME?” The boy had very broken words and sentences and was a little taller than her. I asked him his age and he said 3, so I’m guessing he was a younger 3.

Immediately he pointed to the swing and asked me to push him. Take in mind that I’m carrying Brother Bear and Bitzy is running around like a crazy person. So I asked if he was alone. He then pointed to the white car far off in the parking lot and said, “Dad.” When I looked up I saw a man at the car who appeared to be vaccumming out his car. He had removed a car seat and had a trash bag full of stuff. His head was down and I could hear the vacuum from 100 yards away so I’m sure that he couldn’t hear much that was happening on the playground.

After a few minutes of us playing with him, pushing him on the swings, holding his hands down the slide, etc., I was beginning to get more and more annoyed/disturbed about this situation.

For one thing, it’s just not safe. If I were a kidnapper this child would have been easy for the taking. Also? This playground in particular is tricky. It has lots of open gaps and if a child were to fall out they could get badly hurt. Additionally, the kid was very clearly desperate for attention. He didn’t even want to go down the slide by himself.

After a while we needed to go home so we strolled away leaving this little guy to play alone again.

I really debated on whether to say something to the dad.

I didn’t.

But now? I really wish I would have.

But honestly, I didn’t know what to say then and I’m not sure I would know what to say now.

But maybe I should have tried. Even if my words stumbled, maybe I should have given it a shot.

What about you? What would you have said? Anything? Am I making mountains outta molehills here?

Baby girl,

Today your Daddy said that you were 2 and 1/2 years old. Of course I corrected him and said, “She is NOT 2.5 yet.” We still have 1 more day until you’re officially 2.5 darling.

I used to hate when people would tell the age of their children in months after they turned a year old. You see, I knew much more about parenting before I actually became a parent. It’s part of the irony of parenting I have come to realize.

But then, when I had you I couldn’t bear to just say “She’s 1!” Because there is a lot of difference between 12 months and 23 months. And now there is a lot of difference between you being 24 months and 30 months.

I think I’m going to start saying, “She’s 2.4.” As in, you are 2 years and 5 months. Is that weird? Do you think people would think I’m crazy?

Regardless, you are magical as per usual these days. You say the most fantastic things all day long. Here are a few examples…

“I’M A JOEY! A BABY KANGAROO MAMA! THAT’S ME! A JOEY. I LIVE IN AMERICA AND SOMETIMES SAN FRANCISCO. AND YOU ARE KANGA. A JOEY’S MAMA. WE ARE A FAMILY IN AMERICA!”

“IS GAMMY YOUR MAMA? AND YOU ARE MY MAMA? WHO IS DADDY’S MAMA? AND WHERE DID BROTHER COME FROM AGAIN?”

“I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND ANNA. SHE PICKS ME UP WHIRLS ME AROUND LIKE A LITTLE PTERANODOM.”

I’m clinging with all my might trying to keep you as tiny, fragile and young as possible. But time, my love, just won’t stand still. You keep growing, learning and becoming less like a baby every single day. In fact, you are quickly moving from being a baby to a little girl.

This is both heart warming and heart breaking in one fell swoop.

Yet, one thing remains, your pure and beautiful heart continues to amaze me. You are so kind and loving and your gentle spirit inspires all those around you.

You, my love, are something special.

I pray each day that God will not only protect you and keep you safe, but that He will anoint you to do His work all over the world. That you will be a part of a movement to remind people that God made each of us for His glory and renown.

So now only one day away from your half birthday I want to remind you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You were carefully knit together in my womb for a purpose sweet girl. A beautiful, mysterious plan that only God knows. He has gone behind you and ahead of you to prepare your way into this world and honey, I am so thankful and proud to see what all He has in store for you.

Someday when you read this I want you to hide these words in your heart. To know that your Daddy and I have prayed for you every single day of your life, that you are worth praying for. That you are amazing, important, smart and kind. That you belong to us, and most importantly that you are loved by so many baby, so many.

I honestly do not think it’s possible that I could be more proud of you. My heart bursts with pride and love for you darling.

Happy half birthday sweetie pie delicious, I love you to the moon and back.

Mama

One jar of spaghetti sauce: $1.99

Watching these two little miracles eat spaghetti = PRICELESS.

Yet another weeks worths of groceries are planned, coupons clipped, price matches calculated and put away. Want the scoop?

Here’s the breakdown of a few items:

9 boxes of Kelloggs Cereal: Retail: $2.98 each. After Price Match: $1.33 each. After Coupon: $.63 each.

4 boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal: Retail: $2.98 each. After Price Match: $1.49 each. After Coupon: $.49 each.

6 boxes of Zaterirain Rice: Retail: $1.76 per box. After Price Match: $1.00 each. After Coupon: $.67 each.

2 Pineapples: Retail: $2.97 each. After Price Match: $.99 each.

3 Cantelopes: Retail: $1.97 each. After Price Match: $.58 each.

4 Bags of Birds Eye Viola: Retail: $3.97 per bag. After Price Match: $1.99 per bag. After Coupon: $1.24 per bag.

4 Tubes of Aquafresh Kids Toothpaste: Retail: $1.97 a tube. After Price Match: $1.00 After Coupon: FREE

3 Boxes of Thermacare 2 count: Retail: $5.97 per box. After Price Match: $2.99 per box. After Coupon: FREE

4 Boxes of GE Lightbulbs: Retail: $1.97 per box. After Price Match: $1.00 per box. After Coupon: FREE

6 Packages of Ball Park Hotdogs: Retail: $3.97 each. After Price Match: $1.98 each. After Coupon: $1.60 each.

1 Package of Spanish Hot Chocolate Mix (Hilarous): Retail: $2.97. After Coupon: $1.04 Moneymaker!

Coppertone Water Babies Spray on Sunscreen: Retail: $9.97 After Price Match: $6.99 After Coupon: $5.99

6 Pounds of Boneless Chicken Breast: Retail: $3.99 per lb. After Price Match: $1.98 per lb. After Coupon: $.98 per lb. (this coupon was for $1 off chicken when you buy a Kraft Fresh Takes. I had 4 Freshtakes so I got $4 off my chicken purchase).

4 Kraft Freshtakes: Retail: $2.28 apiece. After Price Match: $2.00 apiece. After Coupon: $1.25 each + the $1 off per pkg. of chicken.

Plus much more! 

Full Retail Value: $267.15

After Price Matching: $164.10

After Coupons: $94.00

Saved: $173.15

That is a savings of 65%. 

When I’m doing normal weekly grocery shopping with produce and meat included, I am thrilled with anything over a 50% savings!

Recently, I’ve had a lot of questions recently about price matching. Hopefully this will answer some of your questions!

First off, I suggest that you read up on the Wal-Mart Price Matching Policy to familiarize yourself with the policy before you give it a go.

Remember, you do not have to bring in the ad. Just make your list beforehand (with the store match, just in case) and tell the cashier the price match. Depending on the savings the cashier most likely won’t call you out on anything. Let’s say for example, that Kroger has oranges for $.25 cents each and Walmart has them for $.38 each. 9.9 times out of 10 they will not ask for the ad. However, if the match is for a toy at Toys-R-Us that’s $15 and at Walmart it’s $35, chances are you’ll need the ad. Does that make sense?

Also, one very annoying thing about shopping at The Wal-Mart is that every store is different. Each interperts the coupon/price matching policy differently. And for that matter, often each cashier interprets it differently too. So, to be on the safe side, bring in the coupon/price matching policy. If the cashier is giving you a hard time, ask them to call a manager up.

For the most part I’ve had great experiences with price matching/coupons, but there have been a handfull of times that the cashier has given me a lot of grief. In fact, one night I was in line for over an hour and left in tears…but ya know what? I still saved a ton of money. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

Anyone still hesitant to being saving money? Any questions? I would love to help!

My Bitzy? Never a dull moment. 

Here are the top ten reasons that I am getting more and more boring in my old(ish) age.

1. Smart Start is my favorite cereal. Bye-bye Lucky Charms and Special K with Berries, Smart Start has stolen my heart. The combo pack of oatmeal and cereal has me smitten indeed. I have a bowl everyday for lunch.

2. I receive Good Housekeeping Magazine. Granted, I didn’t pay for it (it was a freebie), but still. It does come in my mailbox.

3. I own lots of cardigans. Lots of ‘em.

4. Now I don’t buy cutesy bras. I buy bras that offer support. I can thank nursing for 2.5 years straight for that one.

5. I care about documentaries now. Granted, I still love my tween shows, OTH, The Vampires Diaries, Grey’s Anatomy, etc., but documentaries are becoming more interesting to me.

6. Not only do I check People.com everyday, but FoxNews.com and MSNBC.com as well.

7. I really, truly want a new vacuum for Christmas. I would rather have one than jewelry, clothes or any other fun toy. Just a new vacuum pretty please.

8. My favorite Saturday date night is spent cuddled up with my Zach, watching a movie and eating popcorn. I’ll leave going out to the young folks.

9. I actually wondered what my cholesterol count was the other day. This mere thought makes me feel about 75 years old.

10. I would rather read a cookbook than almost anything else. Fiction? Nah, hand me that Joy of Cooking Cookbook.

Do you feel old and boring too? If so, how? Please make me feel better about my absolutely amazingly wonderful boring life!!! Ha!

Sure, I am somewhat of a clean freak which is sometimes confused to also be an organization freak. Ha, ah, Ha, ha, ha, HA! Not so much.

For example, I sweep and mop most everyday. I pick up toys every hour on the hour, and I can’t stand clutter. But the drawers? The closets? The pantry? They need serious help.

And really? I need help too.

For one thing, my brain just doesn’t work in an organized way. It’s like I don’t even understand how to organize things in the first place, much less keep them organized.

So this is what happens…

Everyone meet Pantry. Pantry meet everyone.

This, friends is my mess.

Want more evidence? There is much, much more.

More? Well, sure, why not?

The other pantry? Here ya go.

And the bottom? It’s a wreck too, thanks for asking.

Is that enough for you to agree that I’m a mess?

Here’s the real truth friends. Most days I am thoroughly exhausted by 7pm after playing, loving, teaching, and mothering my precious ones. During naptime I normally do basic cleaning/laundry and organization just doesn’t fit into the equation. But, I also know that it must be done…sometime.

For an organization dummy like myself it seems so overwhelming! Not to mention that this pantry is a VERY small part of my organizational drama. The drawers/closets/unfinished basement that is loaded with C-R-A-P. If I think about it too long my head begins to explode.

Any tips on how to clean up this mess of the pantry? I figure that little by little I can get this house organized, right? Right people? I need help!

So, help me!

Meet our new addition.

No, we aren’t pregnant nor did a stork mysteriously land on our doorstep and deliver a baby into my arms.

Although I wouldn’t really mind Mr. Stork paying us a visit. Someday, that is.

Anyway, there is a new little one in our house.

She shall be named,  To-To.

You see, it began innocently enough.

On Saturday Zach had a great idea for what to do after naptime. He wanted to go to a nearby outdoor mall, walk around and eat dinner. It would be a change of pace for our little family.

We N-E-V-E-R do things like this. I literally could count on both hands the times that we’ve been out to eat with our babies. We just don’t do it. #1. As I’ve said before, eating out is a total waste of money. #2. It’s risky. My babies are very well behaved and happy little people almost all the time…but I’ve been in enough restaurants where kids start losing their minds and screaming their ever lovin’  heads off to know that things can get ugly very quickly. #3. It takes too long. I don’t know about your kiddos, but mine require a lot of physical activity. They both needs lots of running around/crawling around time. Restaurants are generally too slow for us.

We opted for a quick option and went to Five Guys for dinner = Delish. Then, carried onward to one of the greatest marketing schemes I’ve ever witnessed: Build a Bear.

Bitzy was smitten from the first moment, what with the big solider bears out front. She’s a sucker for Teddy Bears and soliders. The combo pack was almost too much to handle.

When we explained that she could pick out any animal she wanted she immediately went for the kitty, as she dismissed my plea for the 50% bunny rabbits. Go figure.

So she got the kitty and we took her to get her stuffing and her little kitty heart put in. Of course it was a mere $5 for the kitty noise and ONLY another $4 for the thumpety heart beat.  Since we had already been sucked into the magical world of Build a Bear, why not?

As the nice lady put the heart into the kitty she said, “Okay Bitzy, what is your Kitty’s name?” Without skipping a beat Bitzy said, “TO-TO OF COURSE.”

Of course! Remember that this child has never seen The Wizard of Oz so I have no clue where the name To-To came from.

So, friends, we have a To-To.

But wait! To-To would not be complete without a very cute outfit now would she?

When we went “to the mall” as Bitzy said to pick out her clothes it was declared that “TO-TO NEEDS PINK. PINK IS HER FAVORITE COLOR EVER!”

Hence, what To-To wants, To-To gets.

Bitzy picked out a very cute pink ensemble of a pink shirt and matching pink skirt. I was actually impressed at how well the outfit matched. My girl has got style!

As we were checking out the genius saleslady said, “Now did you remember To-To’s panties?”

Bitzy says, “MAMA, TO-TO NEEDS HER PANITIES! WE MUST GET THEM SO SHE CAN GO POO POO PEE PEE IN DA POTTY!”

Of course she does.

There went another $3.50.

Although I will say that since Bitzy has been fairly resistant to potty training, I was willing to pay $3.50 for a pair of kitty panities if it would encourage Bitzy to give up her diapers.

I’m happy to say that when we got home Bitzy “taught” To-To how to go on the potty, but since I’m getting a firm “NO FANKS,” in regards to going again. Ha!

The best part? My Bitzy was beaming the entire time. She was so thrilled with this little kitty. And really, she has barely let go of her since.

Money well spent friends, money well spent.

I drove fast, laid in the tanning bed (gasp), and felt incredibly invincible. 

I’m not sure if this is a product of youth, or my own special combo pack of ignorance and negligence. Whatever the case, I didn’t worry about anything. Well, except for boys. I do admit being a bit boy crazy back in the day. 

Anyway, I’m not sure what happened. Or when it happened really. The worry, I mean. When did I become a worrier?

But really, the term worry to me brings up thoughts of old women biting their nails and pacing around the house, so let’s call it anxiety instead shall we? When did I become so anxious?

I’m gonna blame pregnancy.

Growing a tiny human turned my carefree heart into an anxious one. The second I saw the word “pregnant” the panic began. And really, the “what ifs.”

Ah, the “what ifs.”

I am infamous for the “what ifs” and “you just never knows.”

For that, I will blame Google.

In fact, Zach has banned me from Google altogether.

Literally.

I am banned from looking up any kind of illness, disease, infection, horror story, accident, child sickness/death/syndrome. You name it, I am banned from it.

Know why? Because for some reason I am very impressionable. The words of the stories stick with me. And not in a good heartwarming way. In a panicky, unhealthy way.

Now that I’m a mama I realize that I’m not exempt from the troubles of this world. Anything could happen to me and mine at any time. And it may not make sense…and the kicker: I have absolutely no control over it.

I think more spiritual people than me probably find comfort in this. But honestly? It scares me to death.

At the same time, I hear some stories and think that they could never happen to me. Like the tragic story of a 12 month old baby who drowned in the bathtub last year after being left alone for 15 minutes while his mother was downstairs checking her Facebook.

To me, that’s simply neglect and it really doesn’t scare me because I would never do that.

However, the stories of stillbirth, childhood cancer, ALS, heart attacks, car accidents, and all the “what if” stories that are completely out of my control can put me into a panic if I let them.

So yesterday afternoon Bitzy, Brother and I were playing outside. I filled their little turtle pool with water and put the water table up and sat with them as they splashed and played. We were having a blast.

We had been out for awhile and I saw a spider gliding through the air as it was building a web. It was actually fairly interesting to see. Brother had pulled up on the water turtle and Bitzy was at the water table. They were about 3 ft. apart and I’m in the middle of the two. I pull Gracie over to me, kneel down and show her the spider. I had my back turned from Brother for about 5 seconds. Literally.

When I turned around, he had gone head first into the pool with his legs still up on the side and his arms down. I immediately pulled him out as he coughed and cried. As I wrapped him up I began sobbing and thinking of all the “what ifs.” Meanwhile Bitzy began hugging my leg and said, “It’s okay Mama, don’t cry. It was just an accident.”

And that’s the thing. Accidents happen. I get that. I just don’t want one to happen here. Ever.

I would love to end this little story with some kind of inspiration or silver lining, but friends, today terrified me in a big way.

Do all Mamas struggle with this? Is it just me? Do I just need to trust God more? Fix me people! I’m driving myself bonkers and really today did me no favors with the water incident.

Help!

So, last fall we got a zoo membership on a whim and honestly, I think it’s the best (baby related) money we’ve ever spent. On average we go once a week and love every minute.

Recently we discovered the tapir at our zoo and Bitzy is tapir crazy now. She wants to watch tapir videos, make tapir noises, color them, act like them. Her favorite game is that I’m the mama tapir and she’s the baby. It’s actually quite hilarious.

Meanwhile, my laid back baby boy sits in the stroller eating his snacks, just as happy as can be.

The zoo? It’s always a big hit.

But on days like today when it’s 70 degrees and breezy with the sun shining brightly, it’s absolute heaven.

Everyone seemed to have a skip in their step today at the zoo, we all were walking on sunshine. It was wonderful to see everyone so happy!

Anyway, here are some pictures from our zoo excursion today.

 If you have a zoo near you, do yourself a favor and check it out. I bet you won’t regret it!

PS: Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE being a stay-at-home mama lately? Ah, I love it more than words can say. 

 

Cashier: “So is this your first?”

Me: “My first what?”

Cashier: (Awkwardly) “The first time you’ll be taking these to a baby shower.”

Me: “Um, typically you don’t take stamps to a baby shower.”

Silence.

Me: “I’m not pregnant. However, this shirt is big and could be mistaken for a maternity shirt, so I’ll give you a pass.”

Friends, this is a Public Service Announcement. Unless there is a baby’s head coming out of my hooha do not ask me if I’m pregnant.

Thanks so much,

Molly

Ya know? The time when I start hollering at everyone to save money.

To take the time to save, save, save. 

(Have you missed my other Save little stories? If so, check them out here).

I’ve become the crazy person at “The Wal-Mart” peeking into other shoppers carts and telling them the price matches for their items. Yup, you heard me. I’ve mostly been thanked, but I’ve also gotten some very, um…how you say? Unthankful peeps as well. Go figure.

Anyway, it appears that not everyone is as pumped to save money as I am. Which is CRAZY to me.

The other day someone said that couponing “just isn’t for me.”

What does that even mean? Saving money doesn’t interest you? I am dumbfounded by this. Doesn’t everyone need more flexibility in their budget?

I understand that everyone is busy. In fact, I understand the feeling of being totally overwhelmed with life in general.

And I also understand the feeling of being completely consumed with worry about money.

Is that you? Are you laying awake at night wondering how you’re going to pay for this or that? Worrying about the future for you and/or your children?

Not too long ago it was me.

Being a stay at home Mama is absolutely my dream come true and I wouldn’t trade it for a million trips to Disney World, but in all honesty, it’s hard on the wallet. Losing an entire salary is tough. But as I have found in my own life, it is entirely possible to spend less and stretch out a dollar longer than you ever thought possible.

Some of the ways that we’ve saved significant amounts of money over the past year probably seem like no-brainers to you, but to me? They were new and very challenging, but have paid off big time!

Here are some of the ways we’ve adjusted and learned to save more and live on less!

1. Always, always, always turn the lights off when you leave a room.

2. Always, always, always shut the door when you leave a room.

3. Get your HVAC system serviced twice a year to help with efficiency. In the long term this will significantly lower your heating/cooling bills over the course of the year.

4. If you have tiny babies, try as best as you can to breastfeed. Not buying formula is a major money saver. (Plus a zillion other amazing benefits).

5. Price Match. This to me, is a no-brainer. If you have a WalMart near you this will save you hundreds of dollars a month. Get you sales papers and price match. It’s easy peasy. Also, if you have an Aldi near you they have incredible prices on produce. You can price match at “The Wal-Mart” and save big.

6. Coupon. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it’s a lot of work. Yes, it’s totally worth it.

7. Stockpile. I have a stockpile of everything from frozen vegetables and meat to toothpaste and dishwashing tablets. It’s very freeing to not have to run to the store everyday because we’re out of an essential. If you watch the sales and coupons you can find incredible deals and stockpile those items to use at a later date. It’s also a wonderful resource that allows us to be generous to others. It’s amazing to walk into our basement and make a care package for someone that would retail for $100 and know that it cost us a fraction of that cost.

8. Planning. I only go to the store once a week. Period. This includes CVS, Walgreens, Target etc. I only go to one store: “The Wal-Mart,” once a week for our groceries. When I go, I make a very detailed list and stick to it. This means that I have no impulse purchases. I go in with a budget and I do not go over it. Before I began my saving money adventures I would spend nearly $100 a week on random trips to Target or Walgreens. Inevitably, I would buy items that we didn’t need. And I wondered why we always seemed to be broke!

9. Online Shopping. This is my weakness friends. I love Amazon.com with a love that will never die. So this has truly been a struggle for me. I REALLY have to limit myself to only (and I mean only) buying what we need. I spend time researching prices and never, ever impulse buy. Again, this is an ongoing struggle for me, but it’s paying off. If you use a click through service like Shop At Home you can get money back from your purchase. It’s normally anywhere between 2% and 20%. I normally get a check for around $30 per month just from clicking through their site. If you shop online a lot it’s a really great incentive. I also use retailmenot.com often for coupon codes. This is especially great for free shipping deals. I have gotten AMAZING deals online and rarely pay shipping for anything.

10. Gas. This one is hard to swallow. Since gas has jumped to $4.00 a gallon we really limit where we go. And really? It’s been great. There is no reason for me to cart 2 babies around the city 7 days a week and spending hundreds of dollars on gas. I understand that if you’re working and/or have kids to chaffour you may not have a lot of control over this, but I do (and many of you do too). I have found that simply being concious of where we’re going has made a huge difference.

11. Do your own hair. I know this one is a toughie. Here’s an example to hopefully inspire you. I paid $100 every 6 weeks (ish) for a cut and highlights. That comes out to $867 a year on my hair. Insanity people. Now, I price match and coupon a good ole box of color. It’s normally $9.99 a box, price matched to $6.99 and with a coupon, it comes out to be $3.50. That means I’m spending $30.34 on dying my hair per year. Granted, I’ve only gotten one haircut this year and really need one…but you get the picture. Paying for color is absolutely crazy.

12. Never, ever pay full price for clothes. Ever. I have never been a yard sale/Goodwill shopper. I just do not seem to have much luck as some of you do. Instead, I have found that scouring the clearance racks and coupling with coupons can save a ton (and can often be as inexpensive as Goodwill)! A great example of this is my Mama. Recently at JCPenny she found snowsuits, both jackets and pants for $2!!! They were very cute, seemingly well made and only $2 per set. Now, for the next several years my babies have great snowsuits! My family is a great example that you can wear cute clothes and get them for very little money. (Sidenote: it is VERY rare to get these kind of deals online. It’s almost always better to get the lightening clearance deals in the store).

13. Accept hand-me-downs. It’s kind of a game with Bitzy. Some mornings when I put on her clothes and tell how how gorgeous she looks she’ll say, “WHO GAVE DIS TO ME MAMA?” because she knows how many of her clothes were either handed down from family members or bought for her by someone. This, to me is completely precious. She’s learning all about not only being generous but accepting the generosity of others.

14. Do not eat out. I know that’s very strong. But if money is tight, eating out is the #1 way to throw your money away. Let me give you an example. This week at the store I’m going to get 13 cans of chicken “nuggie” soup for my Bitzy. It’s one of the few foods that has meat that she’ll actually eat. I’m going to price match it at $.69 per can. Coupled with coupons I’m going to pay $5.97 for 13 cans. So basically for 2 solid weeks I can feed her lunch for $6. If we go through the drive thru at “The Nuggie House,” her happy meal will cost around $4. Do you see how insane eating out is? I’m not saying that we don’t do it, because we do. It pains me greatly, but we do occasionally. But the beauty is that when we do it’s an event. It’s not commonplace for us to go through the drive thru or eat at a restaurant, so when we do it makes it much more special. Zach and I used to spend hundreds of dollars a month on eating out. Now, we spend about $30 total per month on restaurants (and I still think that’s too much! Ha!).

15. Finally, some of the best advice I have ever been given is that not buying an item is the best way to save money. I find myself getting wrapped in sales and great deals and often overlook if we really need the item. The best way to save money is not to spend it in the first place!

So there you go friends! There’s a small list to help save money!!! These are very small and doable steps to help YOU spend less and save more!

And it wouldn’t be right for me to sign off before showing you a recent shopping trip now would it?!

Here are a few items that I got!

21 Bags of No Yolk Noodles: Retail: $1.98 per bag. After Match: $.98 per bag. After Coupon: $.58 per bag.

Dora Easter DVD (from the Easter Bunny): Retail: $9.97. After Match: $7.97. After Coupon: $4.97

Tyson Spilt Breast Chicken: Retail: $1.98lb. After Match: $.98lb.

Fugi Apples: Retail: $2.47lb. After Match: $.98lb.

Green Peppers: Retail: $.97 apiece. After Match: $.33 apiece.

Thomas English Muffins: Retail: $2.98. After Match: $1.49. After Coupon: $.99.

After all was said and done I saved 74% on this shopping trip. You can do this too!!!! If I can, so can you!

Now go save some money!!!!

]]> http://littlestorieseverywhere.com/save-part-six/feed/ 1 http://littlestorieseverywhere.com/mouse/ http://littlestorieseverywhere.com/mouse/#comments Mon, 16 Apr 2012 06:58:58 +0000 Molly http://littlestorieseverywhere.com/?p=3903

Thank Jesus in heaven I’ve never had a mouse in my house.

Or a goose in my roost.

Or used a moose for a boost.

Or had a wocket in my pocket.

Oh wait! Thank you Dr. Seuss for making everything in my head rhyme all the time.

Ah, I can’t stop!

Anyway, while I appreciate all you animal lovers out there, I’m simply not one of you. I love our puppies (mostly), but mice?

Grody.

I can say with full confidence that I have never freaked out so much in all my life, which, as you can imagine, is saying a lot.

Here’s the story:

One fateful day in college when I was foot loose and fancy free, my roommate and I, Lizbeth, were hanging out in our dorm. Lizbeth was studying (as usual). She was always studying. And I was always pestering her not to study. That was basically our life for 4 years. “Lizbeth, please for the love, stop studying and pay attention to me! Let’s play, sing, dance, shop, eat, anything but study!” Her answer was always and forever, “NO!”

That said, she was down the hall momentarily and I was combing/curling/teasing/hair spraying my hair. As I was playing I saw a flash behind me. It was fast.

I assumed it was nothing and continued frying my hair with a curling iron.

Then, I saw it again.

So, I go over to the recliner in the corner and slightly move it only to find the most horrifying site of my life.

A REAL LIFE MOUSE.

I began screaming uncontrollably. UNCONTROALLY PEOPLE.

I jumped up the recliner and continued screaming.

Non-stop screaming.

Clearly, this caused quite a commotion. The door was open so the entire floor heard me shrieking. Um, loudly.

When Lizbeth heard my incessant screaming as I came face to face with this creature, she came running.

As she was sprinting to my rescue she had a small run in with our door.

Bless Lizbeth’s heart, one may say he had  lots of “run ins” with doors, walls, floors, stairs. I say this with love, of course, as there is literally no one in the world as clumsy as I am.

Anyway, as my knight in shining armour slid directly into a metal door, my hopes of her saving me from the mouse beast were becoming slimmer and slimmer (because clearly it was all about me. Right? Eh, I annoy myself).

As she lay in the doorway of our room with her smashed knee she says, “Molly, what’s wrong with you? Why are you in the chair? What happened?”

All I could get out was, “MOUSE. ROOM. FLOOR. HELP.”

Meanwhile, girls have gathered at the door to see me crouching in the chair in the fetal position screaming and Lizbeth crouching at the door holding her knee looking on the floor for the mouse.

To say it was a hilarious disaster would be an understatement.

Then, ever so gently Lizbeth told me to get down and come out of the room.

“ARE YOU A CRAZY PERSON? THE MOUSE WILL GET ME!”

I may or may not have been a tiny bit hysterical. I also may or may have graduated from the fetal position to doing some sort of football high knee dance in the chair.

Thank goodness Lizbeth, (the bravest of the two of us) got a broom and began the great mouse search, as I was still frozen in the recliner.

As I recall, a tennis racket and a trash bag were involved as well.

My some miracle, my brave and precious friend caught the ferocious mouse, sprinted down the hall and pitched it out the window.

Poor little mouse.

(I hope there are no mouse activist reading this, as I cannot be certain that the mouse lived to tell the tale after being thrown from the 3rd floor of our dorm).

Valiantly, Lizbeth marched back into our room saying, “There. I caught the mouse. I’m going back to study.”

“NO, NO, NO, YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME! WHAT IF IT COMES BACK?!”

I think I saw an eye roll as she went back to studying.

I couldn’t be too upset, she did save my life after all.

And to this day, I’ve never seen a mouse again.

Love to all,

As you can see, my Little Stories blog has undergone a major redesign! I hope that you’ll find this format and design much easier to navigate.

I am really thrilled and look forward to writing much more and interacting with this community.

I’m also going to try to be more active on Twitter and Facebook. Join me?

I try so hard to be a good mother.

Or at least the kind of mother that the media depicts as being “good.”

And by Media, I mean Other Parenting Blogs.

But the deck is stacked these days. Not only does one have to feed, clothe, and generally keep one’s kiddos healthy (all the time, too, not just for like a day or a week!), but we’re also in charge of entertaining, teaching, having a good amount of [supervised] “down time,” and Creating Moments…in a spotless home. And you’d better believe that the super-clean abode needs to be kept that way without chemicals or any other substance you wouldn’t want directly up the nostril of anyone residing with you. A Good Mother- as everybody on the internet knows- uses only eco-friendly products to sanitize her sustainably built home, the one that was created with with [naturally replenishing] bamboo flooring and/or solar panels. She also fashions homemade air fresheners out of whittled lemon peels.

(I may have made up that last part. Or, I’ve just unwittingly created a new thing and am already failing to do it often enough.)

Chemical-free cleaning is the hardest part. (Mostly because I cannot afford that whole bamboo thing.) I’m a pretty good Mom on the other fronts; I love rolling around on the floor with my two daughters. I adore singing made-up songs in made-up French. And, for the most part, our major health maladies can be fixed with a pirate Band-Aid and a cool mist humidifier.  But the green living thing? For the uninitiated, let’s just say that kids can make some truly horrific things happen in, on, or around their bodies in impressively short amounts of time. And gentle spritzes of vinegar and lemon can only sanitize so much. (Although it does make an exceptional salad dressing.) So sometimes industrial-strength cleansers are the only way to ensure germ-freeitude, short of burning play clothes, kitchen surfaces, and maybe even the kitchen itself.

And there you go. Filthy children and thoughts of burning down the kitchen. Not a Good Mother.

When I try to be a greener cleaner in the bathroom, I end up using way too many of those compostable wipes. It then occurs to me that, since we generally don’t compost, I’ve just shoved the entirety of my supplies right into the regular trash can. Strike One for saving the Earth.

And then, after I realize that I’ve just had my hands directly in the toilet bowl (with or without biodegradable wipes), I generally use industrial- strength bleach and way too much boiling hot water to wash my hands. (Strike Two. And a half.)

I try not to beat myself up about it. After all, no mother (even a Good one) is perfect all the time. This thought comforts me for roughly ten minutes. That’s when I find my infant (ignoring her BPA-free and stimulating wooden rattles) with a hairy cat toy in her mouth. So I throw the whole shebang away with nary a thought of recycling. (The cat toy, that is. I keep the baby and the cat hair.) Strike…let’s just go ahead and call it Strike Nine, because it’s already been a long day.

I haven’t given up hope, however, that Nora and Susannah will grow up to be responsible and environmentally friendly citizens of the world.

After all, they have exceptional table manners, despite seeing their mother eat cereal over the sink with a spatula.

There’s hope.

Wanna connect with Keely? Check out her blog here! Be sure to “like” Lolly Gag Blog on Facebook too!

Have a great day friends!

I have always been a casual coffee drinker.

Never anything serious.

I could take it or leave it really.

Even through college, only getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night regularly, I still didn’t care all that much about it. It seemed like a lot work to me. The addiction part of it, ya know? Like, what if I got stranded on a desert island and didn’t have coffee? I would be OK, but what do addicts do about the island scenario? These are really serious matters people!

(This is how my crazy brain works).

Enter: Skinny Peppermint Mocha’s from Starbucks.

Turns out that I just didn’t care about crappy office coffee.

I really care a lot about expensive sugary drinks from Starbucks.

But sadly, at $4 a pop, Starbucks isn’t exactly in the budget. And let’s face it, driving through Starbucks every day takes a lot of time.

Then, along comes Coffeemate and it’s delicious peppermint mocha creamer. Ah, it is so dreamy.

So, I began making an effort to make coffee most mornings. But honestly, with all the morning chaos around here, coffee simply wasn’t at the top of my list.

Then something miraculous began happening.

My amazing husband began making my coffee and unloading the dishwasher every.single.morning.

Talk about a game changer.

Not only did he lessen my workload in the mornings, but he gave me the precious gift of coffee.

Forget Starbucks, Maxwell House is fine by me.

So now, I have my 2 cups a day. Everyday.

Granted my teeth are a little worse for wear, but hey, the caffeine is worth it.

Anyone else addicted to the glorious taste of coffee in the morning? What’s your favorite?

And as for the island problem, I guess I’ll have to just figure it out when I get there. Ha!

When I first moved to Louisville I never planned on staying. My friend Bethany and I moved here on little more than a whim. It was August of 2002. I had recently graduated from college the previous May and had just landed my first real job. To say I was excited would be an understatement.

It seemed like a fun place, and hey, why not? We were 22, had a new shiny college degree and were ready for an adventure!

Trouble was, after a few months of our VERY! EXCITING! ADVENTURE! I was a bit homesick and frankly, the luster of a new place was wearing off. Annoying things like bills, boys and responsibilities were wearing me down.

Little did I know that God was beginning to do a great work in my heart.

One wonderful thing about moving to a new place and not knowing anyone is that I was truly up for anything. New small group? Sure! Blind date? Of course! Trying out for a play? Certainly! Go on a retreat? Sign me up!

During this period of life when I was new in town and totally unattached I began diving into all things church related. This was the first time ever that I was totally focused on God’s Word and how it applied to my little life. There were no other distractions.

And something happened. Something real. Something beautiful.

I discovered a man named Jesus.

He wasn’t a white guy in a robe or a sickly skinny fella like all the old paintings suggest.

Nope, not at all.

Quite the opposite really.

I discovered the power of His Word, the Bible. I learned that not only does He teach us in the Bible that He is good and kind and loving, but that He’s fair and just. He is mighty to save.

The Sunday School version of Jesus that I always had in my mind was being transformed through the power of the Bible.

And to be honest, this period of my life was really tough.

I was struggling with how this new Jesus that I’d come to know, could ever love and forgive me. I spent many nights awake in tears praying for God to restore my heart to be like His heart. To make me better, more like Him.

In a journal I had during this period I wrote the following around the Easter season…

“The tragic beauty of the cross is almost more than my heart can bear. I feel so broken. So alone. How could you have died for me? How? I really don’t feel like someone very special. Someone worth dying for? No way. Paul talks a lot about grace in Acts and I’m totally baffled by it Lord. I know that you’re God for goodness sake, but I am really struggling with guilt about all the yucky things I’ve done. I’ve hurt people Lord. I don’t want to live in guilt forever, but right now You just seem so big and I’m so small. I’m having a tough time understanding how You want me.”

This was written in March of 2003.

Since then, slowly but surely I have come to understand more about the character of Jesus. Not only His selfless love, but His power. How living under His authority gives me much more freedom than I could ever have living on my own.

I am no theologian, by any stretch of the imagination. There are much smarter and more well read people than me. But I can tell you what I know to be true. In fact, this truth rushes through me and pounds at my veins from the inside out. Like my heart is crying out for something bigger than this earth, something more. It’s like my soul is thirsty and only God can quench the thirst. Ya know? Have you ever felt that way? Like you just need something that this world can’t satisfy?

This truth that I know? My secret?

His name is Jesus. He died for you even though you (or I) am not worth dying for. But He thinks we were. He loves you. Even though you can’t imagine how.

And now? Today we celebrate that He not only died for you but He rose from the dead to live with you forever.

That truth? Well, it changes everything.

Tonight when I laid Bitzy down and told her one last story I said, “Now it’s time for sleep, because in the morning we get to celebrate that Jesus is alive!” And she said in her most innocent, precious 2 year old voice, “Okay Mama. Can He come and visit us now? I would like to meet him He sounds so precious.”

Oh baby, he visits us every day, every minute. And He is precious. The most precious thing that we’ll ever know.

I can’t wait until my babies are old enough to fully understand the meaning of Easter.

Until then, I pray that someday they will understand the purity and beauty of Jesus’ sacrifice.

And I pray that you will too.

“The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; He is risen, just as He said.” Matthew 28: 5-6.

He is Risen indeed.

There will come a day when there aren’t boxes of toys placed in nearly every room of this house.

There will come a day when Bitzy doesn’t ask me to give her “milk and books” several times a day.

There will come a day when Brother will not press his face into my neck to snuggle when he wakes up in the morning.

There will come a day when they will be able to dress and entertain themselves and won’t need me quite so much.

Honestly, I find this truth heartbreaking. I love supplying for all of their needs.

But the thing that I find the most heart wrenching? Someday they will worry. They will worry about what to wear, boys and girls, dances, colleges, friends, jobs, money, wars…they will worry.

Now? They worry for nothing. They live a fun and carefree life, full of joy and hugs and love and play.

Can I tell you how much I love that?

I am so blessed and thrilled that God has allowed us to give them such a wonderfully worry free life. And how I wish that I could freeze time and keep them tiny forever. Oh how I wish. Since time refuses to freeze, I’m gonna soak it up. Every bit of it.

I’m soaking up a random ladybug purse laying on the chair in the living room.

I’m soaking up the footed pajamas that line my washing machine.

I’m soaking up the seemingly hundreds of paci’s that are hidden in every pocket of my jeans and every drawer in the house.

I’m soaking up the giggles, peek a boos and endless kisses that are freely given throughout the day.

I’m soaking up the babbles, clapping and “firsts” from my baby boy.

I’m soaking up the songs from “Yo Gabba Gabba” that run on repeat in my head.

I don’t want to miss this friends, not even one second. Because, this life? It’s good. Really, really good.

Bitzy: “I NEED A NAP IN BRODDERS BED. CAN YOU TURN THE LIGHT OFF MAMA? PEASE MAMA? CAN I? CAN I? CAN I?”

Me: “Actually, I was wondering if you want to go to the zoo today! It’s a beautiful day in the Hundred Acre Wood.”

Bitzy: “UM NO FANKS MAMA BEAR. JUST STAY HOME.  I TIRED AND READY FOR A GOOD NAP!”

Me: I pick up Brother and put in safely on my hip. We turn off the light and close the door and count 1-2-3-4-5.

Bitzy: “GOOD MORNING MAMA, I AWAKE! BABY LION TOOK A FANTASTIC NAP!”

Me: I walk in, turn the lights on, “Oh yay baby lion! Did you have sweet dreams? What did you dream about?”

Bitzy: “I DREAMED ABOUT MAMA, DADDY, BRUDDER AND FLAMINGOS AND BLANKETS OF COURSE.”

Me: “Wow, that sounds like a great dream. What happened in your dream?”

Bitzy: Tapping her chin…”WEEEELLLLL, YOU SEE, THE FLAMINGOS WERE TRAPPED AND I HAD TO SAVE THEM. BUT DON’T WORRY, I SAVED THE DAY! I’M SUPER BITZY!”

Me: “I’m so proud of you! You’re so very brave.”

Bitzy: “YES, I AM. AND SMART AND PRWETTY TOO MAMA. AND ALSO? I LOVE BABY TAPIRS. THEY ARE MY FAVORITE. THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS. I LIKE TO HOLD THEM AND PET THEM AND TELL THEM THEY ARE MINE.”

Me: “Oh, yes, baby tapirs are precious. I love them. Wanna go to the zoo today and visit them?”

Bitzy: “UM…NO FANKS. JUST STAY HOME.”

Me: “But it’s so nice outside. Maybe we can go outside at our house and play with our playground. Or maybe take a walk? What do you think?”

Bitzy: “NO FANKS MAMA. JUST STAY HOME. I’M TIRED, I NEED ANOTHER NAP IN BRUDDER BED.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s lovely outside. Jesus made the most glorious day for us to go on an adventure.”

Bitzy: “NO FANKS MAMA. I GOTTA GO TO SLEEP. CAN YOU GO AWAY PWEASE AND TAKE LITTLE BABY WIT YOU? I TIRED AND NEED A NAP.”

Me: “Sure thing. Good night, I love you.”

Bitzy: “GOOD NIGHT MAMA.”

Me: Same routine, close door and count 1-2-3-4-5.

Bitzy: “I’M AWAKE! GOOD MORNING MAMA. I HAD THE BEST DREAM EVER!”

Me: “Oh wow, what did you dream about?”

Bitzy: “I DREAMED THAT WE STAYED HOME ALL DAY AND PLAYED WIT OUR VERY OWN BABY TAPIER NAMED BROTHER BEAR. NOW, WE NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE HOME AGAIN. YAY!”

Me: “Oh, okay. I love you baby lion and I love baby boy tapir but I think leaving home sometimes is so fun! Maybe the zoo?”

Bitzy: “I LOVE YOU TOO MOMMY TURTLE. I’M TIRED AND READY FOR A NAP. WE JUST STAY HOME, OK?”

It’s looking like the zoo ain’t gonna happen today!!! Ha! Such a fun life!

I hear the wind whipping through the trees, almost like a threat. The wind is wild and uncontainable. I thank God for the ability to be outside, standing on my two feet, listening to the beautiful mystery of the wind.

I hear my beautiful girl prancing through the kitchen singing “Away in a Manager” under her breath, like an afterthought. I thank God for the miracle of her and her ability to sing and dance in freedom.

I hear my baby boys laughter as he pounds his hands and knees into the floor, crawling more quickly and efficiently. He becomes more coordinated and confident each day, I thank God for a wild and happy little boy.

I hear my two silly puppies barking at 7:00pm on the dot, conveniently when both of our babies are settling into a deep sleep. I thank God that they are so protective over our family.

I hear the tip tapping of rain falling on our roof and I thank God to have a roof over our heads, as so many do not.

I hear the air conditioning turning off and on during this unseasonably warm spring day. I thank God for the luxury of being able to control how warm and cold our home is.

If I get really quiet, I can focus on the beating of my own heart. I thank God to be alive and healthy to enjoy this beautiful life that He has so graciously given me.

I want to really hear things. Things that I’ve missed in the past. I want to resolve for 2012 to be the year of hearing.

Join me?