I have rediscovered Pop Tarts. It was circa 1984 the last time I had one of these amazing rectangles of awesome and boy are they delicious. This could be a very, very, very bad thing.

Thanks to a certain Hulu Plus, I am all caught up on One Tree Hill. There was a time that I wondered how it would survive without Lucas and Peyton, but now I wonder no more. It is freaking fantastic.

Two words that I couldn’t spell if my life depended on it (this how I would spell them without the help of spell check)- Nessisary and Nessisarily. I just can’t seem to get it right!

I am loving NBC’s The Voice right now. Although, I could really do without Cee Lo Green’sequined jumpsuit and creepy white cat. It’s just plain weird.

Also? Is Christina sort of a cartoon character? I want to see her once without make-up. Survey says that she would look at least a zillion times better. Plus, when a gal wears that much lipstick doesn’t it get all over her kids face when she kisses him all day everyday?

Anyway, back to how I can’t spell. What about disentary? I realize that this is a word that you would only see when playing Oregon Trail back in 1991, but still, I would love to know how to actually spell it.

I cannot express to you the joy it brings me to find tiny little princess shoes scattered throughout the house. There is something so beautifully heartwarming about finding Bitzy’s pink ballerina slippers in my closet. I’m so grateful to have a little girl.

Then, tonight as I was folding clothes (my least favorite chore), I matched two itty bitty baby boy socks and told Zach, “I can’t believe that there is a person so tiny that lives in this house who can wear these wee little socks.”

Another word? Fanactical.

I want another pop tart.

I confess that these two exhaust me in a way that I never thought possible…but I confess moreso that I have never been more in love with these tiny little humans than I am right now.

Have a fun Friday ya’ll!

I have read 2 books since Bitzy was born. TWO. Actually that’s not true. I’ve read at least 2.5 billion kid books. Let me clarify: I’ve only read two books that don’t print the words on cardboard and smell like strawberries when you scratch them. Since you’re dying to know, they are “Heaven is For Real” (excellent) and “The Help” (stunning). Take in mind that pre-baby I could put 2 novels away per week. I devoured good books, a real sucker for a good memoir. After my sweetheart was born I would read a paragraph here and there of baby help books (useless), but the days of endlessly curling up with a book are way over. Happily over to be sure, but still O-V-E-R.

I’m disgusted with how much food we have in the freezer and pantry. There are starving babies for goodness sake. I think we can go for a week without fresh fruit. That said, I have declared that all meals will come from food that we already have this week (and maybe next). So far, so good. Granted, tonight I used my last fresh veggie (green pepper), so after the leftovers are gone from tonight’s dinner, we may be feasting on more creative foods. Perhaps tomorrow will be something totally new and unique! How about corn and peas casserole or peanut butter and cracker ragu. No? Too weird? I’ll figure something out. I’m excited to use our resources wisely and weirdly! Ha.

I am fairly certain that I successfully addicted baby #2 to my arms. My sweet baby boy is now 3 months old and loves to snuggle, and clearly I love to snuggle him right back. My Bitzy screamed bloody murder day in and day out for the first 5 months of her life unless I was holding her, so I’m pretty sure that my arms have magic dust on them. Slowly but surely my sweet boy is making it very clear that he wants a piece of the magic. I’m scared that we may end up with another round of sleep wars…oh well. I’m gonna enjoy the snuggles while they last.

Is it bad that I dreamt last night about coconut cream pie? I have a problem. Just for the record, a Coconut Cream Pie Milkshake from Sonic is 18 points. Ouch. Almost worth it. Almost, but not quite.

My hair is in a bad place. A really, really, really bad place. I don’t think it’s been this long since college. And trust me, long hair is not a good look for me. Must.Get.Haircut. I hit an all time low on Saturday when I took a “mommy time-out” during nap time and ventured to “The Wal-Mart.” I actually walked in the hair salon located inside “The Wal-Mart.” By some stroke of miracle they were busy and couldn’t cut my awful hair. This my friends is how you spell desperation.

Any confessions that you’d like to get off your chest?

Random picture for you. Sometimes my “excited eyes” become my creepy eyes. Yikes. Good thing my girl is SO CUTE.

As I sit, my two miracles are napping, I just took a shower, cleaned two bathrooms and sat down to write something wonderful for you, my sweet friends.

But, as I have suspected for awhile now, my brain is only firing on half cylinders. I have stared at this screen for five minutes without one original thought. And then I remembered a friend of mine once told me that after she had kids (she has 4), she lost some intellect and gained strengths in organization, multi-tasking, cooking, etc. At the time I thought she was nuts…but now, has this happened to me?

I can cook dinner with a baby on my hip with no problem, but for the life of me I cannot spell.

I can fold and put away laundry all while dancing like a champ to the Hokey Pokey, but I can’t remember the words to the Star Spangled Banner (could I ever?).

I am teaching my 22 month old how to count to 20, but I can barely remember how to do long division.

Am I alone here? Perhaps it’s exhaustion or forgetfulness. Maybe my brain will snap back.

All I know is when I look at this screen, my ideas take a nap and I’m left to wonder what kind of mush my brain will become with a couple more kiddos.

1. The other day I ate 12 miniature peppermint patties in 1 minute. That’s right. There was no timer or contest, it was just me eating them ravenously. I don’t regret it. In fact, I’m kind of impressed with myself.

2. Also? I love Samoas guts. Like, really love ‘em. There is no limit to how many I could eat. While I have no record (yet), I love them with my whole heart. Thank you Girl Scouts, thank you.

3. Oh, and I love this too. That’s right. It’s my new bath tub! Every time I look at it, “Hello Lover” pops out of my mouth. Historically I’m not really into taking baths, I’m much more of a shower kind of girl…but with this beauty, times, they are a’changin’.

4. Also, I’m bigger than a barn. It’s true. I stood beside a barn today and practically swallowed it. It’s a real situation. My doctor assures me that I’m measuring “right on”…but I know he’s lying. If I’m having twins and he’s not telling me I’m gonna be real upset.

5. Speaking of twins, praise the Lord that no one has asked me (yet) if I’m growing two tiny humans in my womb. I think I may just burst into tears if they did. But we should get the tissues ready, because it’s inevitable. Some idiot will ask me and I’ll have to blush and say, “no, just the one” and then I will verbally abuse them in my head for the next 50 years of my life.

6. The other day I had a thought about what I was really good at. Ya know, like really good at…and NO LIE, three things popped into my head. 1.) Being a wife. 2.) Being a mommy and 3.) Being the best dang chubby bunny competitor on the planet. The fact that I am positive that I could beat anyone, anywhere, in a chubby bunny competition is a bit disturbing to even me. Do I need counseling?

7. I love my new house. LOVE IT.

8. Do all mamas think that their child is the cutest kid in the whole wide world? If not, I’m in trouble…my Bitzy just keeps getting cuter every day (even if she hates having her picture taken!).

9. I’m 31 weeks pregnant in case you’re counting. Not that I am or anything.

10. And finally, in an effort to covet things that I cannot afford I want to share this beautiful patio table with you, click here. Also, I want these chairs too (while we’re daydreaming of course).  I dare say that even if I were a bazillionaire I would feel weird about spending $900 on an outdoor table and $399 PER CHAIR, that my puppies could/would destroy. So since I’m NOT a bazillionaire I think I’m going with this patio furniture instead. Good and inexpensive, just the way I like it.

Love to all! Have a happy day!~

PS: Like my little stories? I would really appreciate it if you’d vote for me here and here.

Did you know that you can get a 1/4 caffeinated beverage? You totally can at your local Starbucks. So, since being preggers if I’m extra tired in the morning I do a little drive- by and get a (tighten your seat belts, it’s intense), a “Tall, Quarter Caff, Non-fat, No whip Peppermint Mocha with no chocolate shaving. Please.”  Isn’t that fabulous?!  The rub? This morning I’m innocently drinking it and I begin to feel nauseated and dizzy, very much like a felt with my Bitzy for the first 20 weeks of pregnancy.  If we could all say a little prayer together that this weird sicky feeling was a fluke that would be wonderful. It’s the most wonderful time of the year and peppermint mocha’s are very much a part of that!

I suppose this isn’t a confession, but still, it’s news. My laptop bag of many years tragically ripped last week and I had to get a new one. Check this beauty out…I love it! The brand is Kailo Chic if you’re in the market for a new bag.

You’re never gonna believe this in a billion years. The past few weeks I have truly outdone myself with the candy consumption. I have truly been impressed with my resilience and fortitude in putting some serious candy away. Not to mention all the other junk. Cheeseburgers, pizza, ya know, crap. It’s like I was in a prison with Weight Watchers and now I am wild animal out of my cage searching for all the Partially Hydrogenated Oil I can find. And boy have I found it. But then on Saturday something happened, all I wanted was salad and fruit. It was like my little baby said, “OK Mama, you’ve had your hay day, now feed some something green.”  So I have. I have eaten better than ever the past few days and I’m feeling much better. Sometimes you’ve just gotta have a junk food binge. Right? Can I get a witness?

I murdered 4 crawdads (or crickets, whatever) yesterday and I feel absolutely no remorse. I do not understand why they continue coming into our house. I mean, it’s winter. Don’t animals die or hibernate or something in the winter? Ah, so freaking annoying. As long as they come, I will continue to murder. Be warned crawdads, be warned.

The other night, around 10:00 or so, Zach and I were watching something lame on TV and I got struck by Magical Christmas Lightening. It’s true. In a flash, Christmas spirit flooded my body and I just HAD to decorate right then. You know the feeling? When you just cannot live another minute without the twinkle of white lights sparkling in your home?  So, of course I sit up and say “We’ve gotta decorate for Christmas! It’s almost Thanksgiving!” Here’s the rest of our “chat.”

Zach: “Forget it, it’s too late. Can you relax for once?”

Me: “Never. We’ve gotta decorate. I will totally explode if we don’t decorate right now.”

Zach: “We don’t have a tree and won’t for weeks, let’s just wait.”

Me: “If you don’t help me, I’ll get up in the middle of the night and do it myself.”

Zach: “You wouldn’t.”

Me. “I would buddy. I so would.”

Zach: “Fine, I’ll get it all out for you, but then, you’re on your own.”

Me: “Except for hanging the garlands, right? You’re so good at hanging garlands (are you picking up my game here ladies?).

Zach: “Fine. Garlands and that’s it. Sometimes you drive me crazy.”

Me: “You mean, in charming, fabulous way?”

Zach: “Um, yeah, something like that.”

And then, we began the Christmas decorating of 2010. And it looks fabulous, if I do say so myself.

In other news, my sweet Bitzy has really stepped her “pretend play” lately. Love doesn’t describe how much I love playing pretend. We play tea party, nap-time (we put all of our babies and stuffed animals under a blanket and kiss them all) and then we play kitchen. I had no idea that the awesomeness of pretend would come so early. At only 13 months (today!) she’s a regular imagination station. Best.Time.Ever.

Daisy and Lily have been on “vacation” at their grandparents house. They’ve been home for 2 days straight and haven’t driven me crazy (yet). It’s a record. Maybe we’re all on the road to recovery.

Do you have any confessions for me? Do tell my peeps.

Hold the phone: Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Joey from Blossom are teaming up for a little rememberthe90sTVitwassoawesome TV show! While I wasn’t a huge Sabrina fan, my friend Megan was/is a bit obsessed, so I am excited by association. But Joey, ah Joey. What with his leather jacket and manicured hairdo. He was and is dreamy. My only question is, does he have some kind of strong distaste for going by character names?  Does he always have to be called “Joey?” It’s getting kinda weird with all the Joey characters, right?

Somedays I am so busy that I feel like my brain is going to explode. I get so overwhelmed that I doubt everything that I do, feeling as it I’m never going to complete all of my tasks. But then, I pick up my sweet Bitzy Boo and all the troubles of the world fade away. There is no task, none at all, that are more important than soaking in every single second of my baby’s life. No emails, phone calls, news, nothing. They all can wait.

I’m addicted to Weight Watchers Cookie Dough desserts. They are only 3 points apiece and I could eat 20 of them. Please don’t challenge me to an eating contest, I will win. But wouldn’t that be sweet irony to have an eating contest with WW products? Who’s with me?

The news stresses me out. It makes me sad and annoyed at our world today. So, I choose to not listen and focus on the real news: People.com.

Speaking of, Sandy and little Louis are doing great (Read about our friendship here and here). Thank goodness that grody ole Jesse is out of the picture. I do confess that he makes me wanna vomit.

The other day I had a frozen bag of breast milk from the deep freezer in my hands and I dropped it on our glass top coffee table. Accidentally of course, I am a true klutz. The poor table top shattered all over the carpet, but more annoyingly the breast milk bag got a hole in it. That’s right all 11 ounces of my precious liquid gold was pouring all over the glass ridden carpet. Believe it or not, I was much more upset about the wasted milk than the glass. As you know, I take my milk very seriously, it is Natures Nectar after all.

By the way, after I told you all about my idea for curing all the aliments of the world with Natures Necture, no lie I heard on the radio the next day that researchers are now conducting studies that isolate the proteins in breast milk to cure cancer. Seriously? Are they that in tune with this blog that they read about my life changing ideas and immediately begin research?  People, we are curing cancer up in here.

Zach and I got new cell phones and I hate them. They are supposedly “smart” but I think they’re dumb. I want a Jitterbug and pronto.

The crawdad count is up to 32.  Don’t they hear the cries of their little brothers and sisters on the Duct tape? Duh, you stupid crawdads, don’t step on the tape. Their stupidity is just another reason that they must die.

Lastly, I want you all to know how much I enjoy writing these little stories and the community that we’re forming here.  Thank you putting up with my whining about the Sleep Wars and my crazy escapades.  I cherish every single visitor and comment…keep ‘em coming.

All I can think about today is The Wonder Years.

Is that weird?

I got some bummer news today from one of my sweet friends and my heart is broken for them, so what do I do rather than get depressed?  I revert to my childhood and think about things that have absolutely no meaning whatsoever.

Hey, it beats depression.

That’s probably not healthy is it?

Anyway, back to thinking about nothing…remember the love story of Kevin and Winnie?  It was just so…romantic.  In a strange middle school kind of way that is.

But then again, I was in middle school when I watched it (or was it Elementary?).  If I were to watch it now it may not have the same zest as it did then.

I had a major crush and Kevin and honestly, a major girl crush on Winnie.

Who didn’t?

Kevin’s goofy smile and Winnie’s perfect little figure.

“What would you do if I sang out of tune…would you stand up and walk out of me…” All together now…(got in your head! Ha!).

Ah, the nights of eating ice cream while watching hours of TV are WAY over…but boy did I enjoy them while they lasted.

Anyone else lovin’ some old school TV?  Every now and then it just hits me and I’m a kid again, watching TV and lovin’ every minute.

So anyway, to my dear friend, we’ll get through all the yucky stuff. Promise. Hang in there. The pain lessens everyday and God is near and will teach you more than you can imagine through the heartache. He’s tricky like that.  And as we learn from the Wonder Years, “I get by with a little help from my friends, I get high with a little help from my friends.”

Hmmm…well, actually we won’t get high, but we will get by. Love you.

Love to all…

I had 9 Weight Watcher points for lunch.  9 beautiful sugary points of dessert.  No real food.  No fruit, veggies, bread or meat.  Just sugar. And it was glorious. Who needs real food?  I could totally live on desserts and ice cream forever. Couldn’t you?

Is it just me, or is 98% of this blog about food?

I confess, I love food.

For the first time ever today I became very annoyed with Target. But don’t worry, I’m over it now.  Target said it was sorry and I forgave him.  (Why is Target a boy?)

Every other person I know in the world is pregnant or just had a yummy bit of goodness baby.  What does this mean? Recession?  Peer Pressure? Jobless? Boredom?  Why in the world does it make me want to be pregnant?  Peer pressure for sure. That answers that question.  Well, and that babies are the number one most awesome thing in the whole.wide.world (other than Jesus and husbands of course).

Bitzy seriously gets cuter from one moment to the next.  Is this possible you ask?  Yes. A resounding yes. I’ve experienced this.  She’ll kiss me with a big wet slobbery kiss, crawl away like she’s in a mad rush to get somewhere extremely important, spin around on her tush, then flash me the cutest little toothy smile and confirm, yet again, that she gets cuter by the millisecond.  Seriously.

All I can think about are cucumbers (lie).

All I can think about are Milk Duds (truth).

I confess that I not only write about food constantly, but I think about it constantly. Is that healthy?  Probably not.  But neither is eating 78 boxes of Milk Duds per year and Lord knows that I could care less about how healthy that is.  So, whatever.

I wish that I had super kinky curly hair that looked amazing without me ever touching it.

This morning in a meeting for work I burst out laughing thinking about something hilarious that Zach said this weekend.  It was completely and totally off the topic of discussion and it just popped in my head like lightening.  Being married to him is like going to the Carnival everyday…always funny, never boring and full of rat tails and airbrushed t-shirts.

Actually Zach doesn’t have a rat tail or an airbrushed t-shirt.  Oh well, you get my point. Or do you? What is my point?

I’m feeling particular random today, can’t you tell?

Anyway, happy Monday!

I feel so fancy.

Someone gave me my very first blog award.  It’s called The Sugar Doll Award!  Doesn’t that just sound delicious!

I would have preferred to accept this award in Spanx, an evening gown and in the Kodak Theater, but I suppose the world wide web will have to suffice.

Here are the rules for accepting this sweet gift:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award.

My blogging buddy, Cate, at www.reallifewithkids.com was kind enough to give me this sweet award for my little bitty blog.  Thanks Cate!!! I so love your blog and have loved connecting with you and learning more about your life!!! I can’t wait to read more every day!  Please visit her blog and I just know that you’ll love it too!

2. Share ten things about yourself.

1. I have on a shirt today that’s not 2 sizes too big and I actually feel kinda skinny. Weird, weird, weird.

2. In high school I had a dog named Gus Chambers.  He was a great dog…even though he was big, mean protective and slobbery, he was a sweet puppy.  RIP Gus.

3. I’m not an animal person even though I have 2 of my own little puppies. But as you all know, it’s pretty touch and go with them. Some days they are my babies and some I threaten to drop them off at the pound. It really could go either way.

4. Yellow is my favorite color.

5. I have eaten an entire bag of York Peppermint Patties before at one sitting and I’m not ashamed of it.

6. Anytime I played pretend as a kid my name was Chelsey and I still love that name.

7. There is a tiny, itty bitty bit of me that misses being pregnant.  Don’t worry, I’m sure this feeling will pass as my pregnancy wasn’t exactly smooth.  Unless you call a solid saltine cracker addiction and months of vomiting a good time. But still, I kinda miss it.

8. My hair has always been blond, however I wonder what I would look like with brown, pink, red or black hair.  Don’t worry, I’m not brave enough to see..but I still wonder.

9. I don’t think my Bitzy knows her name because I always call her, “Honey Bunny,” “Sweetie Peetie,” “Baby Girl,” “Angel,” the list goes on and on. When she writes her name in school will she write, “My Beautiful Baby?”  I hope so. Wouldn’t that be precious?

10. I am ashamed to say that I haven’t read a book from cover to cover since my girl was born 8 months ago. I used to devour books in only a few hours or days. This fact would be depressing, however I know that my time is now spent crawling, laughing, and kissing. Who needs books anyway?

3. Pass the award along to 10 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic! In no particular order…

1.  Toddler Terrorism.  Visit here.

2. The Good Life. Visit here.

3. Free To Be. Visit here.

4. Becoming Sarah. Visit here.

5. It’s Almost Naptime. Visit here.

6. Enjoying the Small Things.  Visit here.

7. Bring the Rain. Visit here.

8. LouNatEli.  Visit here.

9. Everyday Pitter Patter. Visit here.

10. My Charming Kids. Visit here.

4. Contact the bloggers and let them know you’ve picked them for the award.

I’ll contact you all shortly!!! Thanks again Cate, you are such a sweetheart!

My number one pet peeve of all time is WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPS.  I DON’T KNOW WHY IT DRIVES ME SO CRAZY, IT JUST DOES. Is it so hard to use the shift key people?

I am proud of my husband for all of the little awards he gets while playing Call of Duty.  He’s fighting the terrorists after all (or some 7 year old in Wisconsin- but whatever).

Pitiful.

Yesterday my Weight Watcher points consisted of eating Weight Watchers Carmel’s, Weight Watchers ice cream, and Weight Watchers muffins.  Who needs meat or veggies when you can have sugary diet food?  I should be the poster child on how you can still eat an all sugar diet and lose weight.  It’s remarkable really.

In all of my bad dreams I can’t scream when the bad people are chasing me.  Any dream interpreters out there? Am I nuts or what?

My nighttime routine of face washing has gone from a 4 step program (before Bitzy) of cleanser, toner, eye cream and moisturizer to me using a baby wipe (if I’m lucky) as I fall into bed.   This my friends sums up what motherhood is like.  My question is, since my routine has so drastically changed, what happens when I have 2, 3, or 4 kids?  Will I cease to wash my face, will I just rub my cheeks against the sheets at night hoping to get the grime off, or will I just rub in all the slobber that  builds up from sweet baby kisses and hope for the best?  Dire straits people, dire straits.

I want to kick Jesse James in the head.  Is that wrong?

My Bitzy will begin eating “real”solid foods in the next few weeks and I’m a wreck (like squash, apples, etc). Here’s why:

1.) I’m making all of her baby food and it makes me nervous.

2.) This means that she’s not a tiny baby anymore.  First solids and then she’s driving.  It’s a slippery slope.

3.) Now it’s super easy to feed her on the go (seeing as how I just attach her to me).  Solids seem like a lot of work.  So much packing and whatnot.  Would it be weird if I just nursed her forever?

Speaking of, tonight during our bedtime feeding, I imagined not nursing her and I began to cry.  I honestly cannot imagine stopping. Call me nuts, but it’s going to be extremely difficult for me to ween myself from her. Is 7 really too old?  Really?

I actually like doing laundry.

I love hairspray. In fact, I don’t want to live in a world without it.  My hairspray of choice is Aussie.  That’s right, $3.99 and I’m good to go for weeks. For those of you who don’t use it, you should. It will make your world a happier place and your hair will thank you.

I have a favorite pair of flip flops that are totally falling apart and look ratty, but yet I still save them and wear them for “special occasions.”  While it may look like I’m wearing my ghetto shoes to dinner, it’s really a glorious occasion for them to be allowed out of the closet.  They are on death row and anytime they are released from their cell could be their “last supper.”

I am sorta scared of the dark.  I attribute this entirely to the movie, “The Ring.”  That movie creeped me out in a way that is completely uncalled for in a grown woman.  To this day, if I turn out the lights and leave the room and it’s pitch black I think about that little girl in the chair.  Ah, it sends shivers up my spine.  Creepiest movie ever.

Now I’m going to have nightmares.

Thanks a lot.

Finally, Daisy and Lily are back from a sabbatical at their Lolly & Pops.  They’ve been home for 24 hours and I don’t hate them yet.  Maybe it has something to do with this development…

If she loves 'em, so do I.

Any confessions that you’d like to share with me, dear readers?  Do you secretly hate your dogs but can’t break it to your husband?  Are there some days that all you eat is sugar (please say yes), Confess away my friends…

If I had a dollar for every “great” idea that I have declared, I would be a gazillionaire.   Sure, some of them were pretty darn good, mostly just OK and then a few were flat out awful.

The following story falls into the “flat out awful” category.

Why didn't I think of this first?

It was my Freshman year of college, or was it my Sophomore year, I don’t remember, anyway, I was having a particularly tough time facing the wrath of pimples.  Ever so often I would be visited by these awful little creatures and it just about drove me crazy.  In high school my face was clear enough, but in college (hormones are a real thing) my zits came out to play.

I had face washes, creams, lotions and potions and they all would work for awhile and then they would fail me. Again and again, I was disappointed.

Then, I declared Pimple War.

I read every article in the whole wide world about getting rid of these life ruining facial disgraces.  I looked in magazines, online and in books.  I was gearing up for a fight.

One night, as I was reading some scintillating article about combating acne, I learned a trick that had been passed down for centuries (OK, maybe not centuries, but for awhile)-

TOOTHPASTE.

Of course!  Why didn’t I think of that?

Ya know when toothpaste dries on your lips and you just can’t get it off and it sucks the moisture out?   Then I imagined all the pesky zits that I would murder when wielding the sword of toothpaste, drying out all the little idiots!

The article said to put a tiny dab of toothpaste on each zit and they would magically disappear as quickly as they came.

So before bed that night I began dabbing.

It's amazing what you can find on Google Images.

Always the overachiever, I continued dabbing until it turned into more of a rub…then, the rubbing escalated into covering and before I knew it I had a complete toothpaste mask on.

Why risk it?  I wanted those suckers to die.

My roommate Lizbeth, warned me not to sleep in the toothpaste mask.  She begged me to take it off.

Was she trying to sabotage my efforts?  Was she working for the pimple team?

I wasn’t having any of it!  I was determined to sleep in my toothpaste mask come hell or high water.

As I lay down I positioned myself perfectly in the middle of my pillow, as to not rub off any of my miracle paste and I bid my enemy pimples goodnight.

(You know where this is going don’t you?)

So the next morning I wake up and my face is on fire, there is toothpaste dried on my pillow and there are blue gel chunks in my hair.

That’s right, I said gel.

One tiny little part of the article that I ignored (other than the dabbing suggestion), was to opt for the more creamy toothpaste, not the gel kind.  Because NEWSFLASH, the gel would burn my face.

And it did.

I walked around with a bright red chapped toothpaste face for 3 days.

The good news?  There’s always a silver lining, ya know.

1. My zits went on vacation.

2. I had the illusion of a sunburn.

3. I learned not to sleep in gel toothpaste.

Ya live, Ya learn.

I visit people.com and usmagazine.com every single day.  I’m sorry.  I just can’t help it.  If it redeems me at all, I also visit foxnews.com a lot as well.  While I don’t have the same drive to see what’s happening in the world (outside of the entertainment industry of course), I do care.  In fact, I care very much.  It all just makes me a little nuts, and I get all bent out of shape.  So, I avoid what’s happening in politics by seeing what everyone is wearing to the Oscars.  It’s probably a defense mechanism.

I have a pair of Montreat basketball sweatpants that I stole from my big brother, Luke, over ten years ago, and they are still my most favorites. Sure they are dirty and old and I get endlessly made fun of by still wearing them, but alas, they are my favorites. Speaking of, it is my dream that wearing old ratty sweatpants will someday not only be socially acceptable, but a fashion statement that Stacey London approves of and encourages.  Hey, a girl can hope.

While we’re on the subject, in middle school/high school I had a pair of sweatpants that were our basketball warm ups from my 7th grade basketball team.  They had “Wildcats” screenprinted on the tushy.  I LOVED LOVE these pants (which are now cut into very short shorts that I will never wear again.  That’s what I get for never measuring anything).  I wore them all the time. I even went through a phase in high school when I would wear them for days on end. Then, when they were dirty I would wear them inside out.  I’m disgusting.  I admit it.

I love scary movies.  The creepier the better.  But as it turns out, no one can make scary movies anymore.  It’s quite sad actually.

Speaking of, we LOVE Survivor.  It’s our all time favorite show,  however when we watch we have to wonder if these players  have actually ever watched the show.  They are all so terrible at  it.  Come on people, OUT PLAY, OUT WIT & OUTLAST.

Sometimes Zach and I sit around and pretend like we’re talking  like Daisy and Lily (our puppies).  Lily is prim and proper and  sounds exactly like Mary Poppins and Daisy sounds like Lenny  from Of Mice & Men.  Don’t judge, it’s cheap entertainment.

I’m not into the A-Team (sorry honey).

Or MASH (sorry Cassie).

But I can really get into some One Tree Hill (Thank you, Megan.  Thank you.).

I tried to use a recipe last night…I really did. I even made it to the stores to buy the ingredients.  But then, in the midst of all those mysterious ingredients, I began my “what if I just added ___” and so it always goes.  Oh well.  There are too many rules in recipes.  I’m just not cut out for it.

My all time favorite ice cream is The Girl Scout’s “Samoa.”  It is heaven on earth. In fact, as I was telling Zach tonight that I saw it at the store I spontaneously burst out into “it’s the most wonderful time of the year.”  I could literally eat the entire pint.  Or is a quart?  (I do not understand measurements).

I want to love camping, I really do.  I’m just not so sure.  I need more practice.

Now, this is hard for me to admit. Honestly, this is a true confession from my heart.   Get ready for it…

As it turns out, I’m probably not the greatest driver on the face of the planet as I previously thought.  I know, I know- it’s hard for us all to admit, but sometimes I multi-task a little too much (not with Gracie in the car- don’t you worry. With that precious cargo I drive like my Granny. Slow and steady).  But yes, it’s true.  Rumor has it that putting on make-up, talking on the phone and picking up trash in car all at once does not a good driver make (or so they say).

I would rather eat yellow cake batter than almost anything.  Yes, I am aware that raw eggs could make me very sick. It’s totally worth the risk.

Gracie is the single most fantastic thing that I’ve ever done and I want about 30 more children.  I figure if I get pregnant every year for the next ten years and have triplets every time then it’s possible!  Then, I’ll have all of my 31 babies before my eggs dry up and just in time for a TLC prime time show.

I hate going to the mall.  I’ll take Target any day.

I have amazing girlfriends.  They truly are a blessing straight from the hand of God (wait, that’s not a confession. Sorry).

When I’m at home I hardly ever cover my mouth to sneeze.  I’m gross that way.

I loved my husband long before he loved me.  It’s true.  I was totally bananas over him in college and he broke my heart.  But don’t worry, I won him over eventually.  The lesson here is, girls never give up.  Stalk ‘em long enough and they’ll come around.

I love breastfeeding so much that I wonder if I’ll be the mom who is breastfeeding the kid ’til she’s 7.

I am kind of a hypochondriac.  The weird thing about this isn’t the “fear” of dying, it’s more that I want to know what’s happening with my body at all times.  This also correlates with my obsession with all medical shows.  I’m sort of a doctor.  Who need Medical school when Grey’s Anatomy is on?

Speaking of, every single time I have my blood pressure taken I get really nervous and I’m afraid that it will skyrocket and then the doctor will make me take medicine unnecessarily.  I know that this probably will never happen, but it still makes me nervous.

I used to love to clean and now I just can’t be bothered with it.  My house is dusty and dirty but I just can’t find the motivation or the time/energy to clean it.  So, I suppose I’ll continue to waste money paying someone to.  (Don’t judge me.).

I find it funny/odd that so many people take pride in being “sarcastic.”  I think that having the “gift of sarcasm” is just an excuse to be rude.

I used to love Duke basketball, but these days, I have no interest in it. Sorry Duke, it was a fun ride.

When I see things that remind me of something I often have to really think about whether I remember it from my own life, a dream or a movie.  It all gets muddled in my mind…. how old am I anyway?  Am I losing it already?

My favorite color is yellow (wait, is that a confession?  I don’t think so.  There I go again).

I accidentally borrowed (not stole) my parent’s car when I was at the ripe old age of 13.  And…I wrecked it.  And…then lied about it.  Not my finest moment, but a learning experience to be sure.

I think Snuggies are weird and scratchy…and they are made out of felt. I hate felt (unless it’s on a board and you’re putting up little Bible characters like Miss Jean did when I was in Sunday School).  Shouldn’t something called a “snuggie” be soft and cuddly and not feel like cardboard?

My mama and my husband are my two best friends.  They have to love me, they have no choice.

I have been told that I’m “so photogenic.”  I confess that I have spent an embarrassingly absurb amount of time practicing in the mirror. Sure, most of this happened when I was 13, but let’s face it, I have an occasional practice session. BTW:   If it’s true that I am, in fact, photogenic, does this mean that in real life I’m not nearly as attractive as I am in pictures?

There are many more confessions…stay tuned.