There will come a day when there aren’t boxes of toys placed in nearly every room of this house.

There will come a day when Bitzy doesn’t ask me to give her “milk and books” several times a day.

There will come a day when Brother will not press his face into my neck to snuggle when he wakes up in the morning.

There will come a day when they will be able to dress and entertain themselves and won’t need me quite so much.

Honestly, I find this truth heartbreaking. I love supplying for all of their needs.

But the thing that I find the most heart wrenching? Someday they will worry. They will worry about what to wear, boys and girls, dances, colleges, friends, jobs, money, wars…they will worry.

Now? They worry for nothing. They live a fun and carefree life, full of joy and hugs and love and play.

Can I tell you how much I love that?

I am so blessed and thrilled that God has allowed us to give them such a wonderfully worry free life. And how I wish that I could freeze time and keep them tiny forever. Oh how I wish. Since time refuses to freeze, I’m gonna soak it up. Every bit of it.

I’m soaking up a random ladybug purse laying on the chair in the living room.

I’m soaking up the footed pajamas that line my washing machine.

I’m soaking up the seemingly hundreds of paci’s that are hidden in every pocket of my jeans and every drawer in the house.

I’m soaking up the giggles, peek a boos and endless kisses that are freely given throughout the day.

I’m soaking up the babbles, clapping and “firsts” from my baby boy.

I’m soaking up the songs from “Yo Gabba Gabba” that run on repeat in my head.

I don’t want to miss this friends, not even one second. Because, this life? It’s good. Really, really good.

I hear his chest rising, the air flowing seamlessly through his nostrils as and I thank God for my husbands every breath.

I hear the wind whipping through the trees, almost like a threat. The wind is wild and uncontainable. I thank God for the ability to be outside, standing on my two feet, listening to the beautiful mystery of the wind.

I hear my beautiful girl prancing through the kitchen singing “Away in a Manager” under her breath, like an afterthought. I thank God for the miracle of her and her ability to sing and dance in freedom.

I hear my baby boys laughter as he pounds his hands and knees into the floor, crawling more quickly and efficiently. He becomes more coordinated and confident each day, I thank God for a wild and happy little boy.

I hear my two silly puppies barking at 7:00pm on the dot, conveniently when both of our babies are settling into a deep sleep. I thank God that they are so protective over our family.

I hear the tip tapping of rain falling on our roof and I thank God to have a roof over our heads, as so many do not.

I hear the air conditioning turning off and on during this unseasonably warm spring day. I thank God for the luxury of being able to control how warm and cold our home is.

If I get really quiet, I can focus on the beating of my own heart. I thank God to be alive and healthy to enjoy this beautiful life that He has so graciously given me.

I want to really hear things. Things that I’ve missed in the past. I want to resolve for 2012 to be the year of hearing.

Join me?

Brother Bear was asleep and missed our smushy face pic!

So yesterday was my birthday.

It was a perfect day full of Jesus, Zach and my babies. The perfect combo pack.

The funny thing is though, no matter how old I get, I always think I’m 22.

I don’t just pretend, I really think it.

When someone says, “How old are you?” I immediately think that I’m 22.

But not just me. Everyone I know is apparently 22 as well.

For example, not too long ago I was out to dinner with my lady friends and one of my dear darlings said that she went out on a date with a guy who was really nice but older than her. When I asked how old and she responded that he was 38.

38?

“You can’t go out with him! He’s 16 years older than you! He’s way too old for you!”

Then, all of my friends looked at me like I was a crazy person (more than usual).

“You know that I’m not 22 any more, right?”

“Oh my. You’re not? How old are you anyway?”

See? Everyone is 22 forever.

In my defense, 22 was a darn good year for me. I met my Zach, graduated from college, moved to Louisville, started my first job, met some of my best friends and lived on my own. It was quite eventful, but so wonderful.

Now that I’m, ahem, not 22, every year continues to be eventful…and wonderful.

In my old age I am beginning to become more thankful for birthdays, because well, the alternative is grim. But then I get greedy, panicky almost. Like I have to super pumped to get older because I’m so frantic about something happening to me and leaving my babies and Zach.

So, with gratitude I celebrate another birthday full of wrinkles, sags and headaches!!!!

Being 22 isn’t so bad after all! Keep ‘em coming!

Bitzy is a baker!!!!

Every single day I wonder why in the world God has blessed me so incredibly. I am selfish and prideful and rude and arrogant and many more horrible sinful flaws. I do not deserve these little angels.

They are so perfect, so innocent.

They rely on Zach and I for everything. In a way it’s incredibly comforting to know that I am able and willing to provide for their daily needs, but also their need for love, comfort and encouragement.  But in another sense it scares me to death. I am not qualified for this position! I didn’t take a test or study for this job. Somedays I feel so unprepared.

Brother all snuggled at the park!

This week as Zach has been on “staycation,” my job as a stay at home mommy has been exponentially easier. Right now we’re playing a man-to-man defense which is WAY easier than my usual zone defense Monday-Friday.

To tell you the truth I’m so nervous for Monday! Including the weekends he’s been off for 9 whole days!!!! Even though we didn’t go on a fancy vacation, it has been amazing.  We went to the park (even in the freezing cold), the zoo, the science center, and even had a few PJ days (my personal favorite).

An added bonus was that Brother decided this week that he hated taking naps. So, unfortunately we had a few days that he screamed his ever lovin’ brains out for an hour. If I were here without Zach I cannot promise that I would have let him cry…but with Zach I was strong, and yesterday our sweet baby boy slept for 3 hours straight for nap!!! Amazing.

So tomorrow to further increase my nervous nerves we’re heading back on the Weight Watcher train. It’s been a full month of debauchery, but it’s time to get back on the system. And, in case that wasn’t enough we’re going hard core on the Dave Ramsey Financial Freedom plan.

I’ll be writing more this week about all of these fun things:).

Hopefully I’ll still be in my right mind to write!!! Ha!

Have a happy Sunday!

I’m a little late to the party on the whole 2012 thing.

What a surprise, I know.

You see, Zach is on “staycation” this week, which is honestly the greatest, greatest, greatest thing ever. Why must he work I ask? Why can’t we just live on love? Why can’t be heirs to a bazillion dollar inheritance?

Questions for the ages I tell ya.

That said, things like writing a little story have been far from my mind. I’ve been too busy playing peek-a-boo and tea party. Which in my opinion are activities far more important than writing.

Does that hurt your feelings? Don’t take it personally.

So now that I’m officially four days overdue in writing the obligatory New Years Resolutions blog post, I figure that I’ll just skip it. I mean, clearly I want to lose weight (who doesn’t?), pray more, love harder, be better. Of course. But, resolutions just seem so, how you say, cliche.

Last year at this time I wrote this post. While we haven’t written a children’s book (yet!), we have successfully accomplished all of our other goals which makes my heart happy.

Some highlights from 2011:

We birthed the worlds most precious son. He is truly a blessing straight from the hand of God. To say that we are in love with him doesn’t do our deep love justice. He is truly amazing.

Our Bitzy has grown and changed so much in the last year. She is incredible. Last year at this time she was grunting and pointing, now she is singing songs and counting to 25. She’s simply a miracle.

In the past year our house payment has doubled and our income has been cut in half, yet we have still managed to not go into debt. This to me is a major accomplishment.

I have begun what I like to call, “The Great Coupon Adventure” and I love it. It’s saved us a bundle and it’s very, very, very fun.

But more than anything, I am grateful that in 2011 God taught me so much about who He is. About what a loving Father He is, how much He loves us all and how available He is to us. I am so amazed that I get to be His daughter.

So friends, as we begin the journey into 2012 I wish you all good health, happiness, and more than anything, love. Sweet precious love.

Thank you all for helping make 2011 amazing. Here’s to making 2012 even better!

In my mind, everything is a Hallmark moment.

So, obviously everything is set in candlelight. Apparently, in my mind it’s always dark outside, hence the candles.

Also? There are children laughing and tiny feet pit pattering all over the house. There are no naps in my mind and memories.

And there is always, and I mean always, pie. Any kind will do. Just pie. P-I-E.

While my life is beautiful and fabulous and I would not trade it for a zillion trillion bazillion bucks, it’s not always picture perfect. And sadly, there are hardly ever pies.

In fact, it’s more like a circus around here than anything. A wonderful and entertaining circus, but still yet, a circus.

There are tantrums and tears, messy meals and lots of screaming. Mainly the happy sort of screaming, but still, a scream is a scream. And when you multiply the happy screams with the sad screams with the hurt screams with the idon’tknowwhyiamsadijustam screams, that’s a whole lotta screaming.

I do it love though. Every single bit of it. It may not be perfect, but it’s perfect for me.

Well friends, in the quest to spend little and save as much as possible, all while building a stockpile, I am learning a lot. I am no where near an expert (quite the contrary), but I am learning more and more every week. What took me 3 hours 2 months ago, now takes me 1. To me, that’s progress.

A few weeks ago I wrote a few other blogs about saving money. Check those out too Save {part 1} and Save {part 2}…some of this will be repetitive, but hopefully it will all be helpful.

*No pictures in this post, I’m rushing to finish before naptime is over!

So many of you have asked about my process of couponing, what I buy, how I get the coupons, etc. So this week as I went through the steps of a weekly grocery list I wrote down what I did in order to best explain what I do and how I do it.

Let me reiterate again, I am NOT an expert. This is just my mangled, disorganized way of saving a freaking ton of money.

1. I have the Sunday paper delivered to my house. I get out the coupon inserts and clip, clip, clip. I do NOT clip everything. There are some things I do not want even if they’re free. Ha! Also, my sweet Mama sends me two sets of coupons each week from her papers in North Carolina. And, I also frequent Coupons.com to get online coupons.

2. Then, I throw away the entire paper except for the sales ads. Because, well, I’m more of a People.com person than a newspaper gal. Does that make me a bad person? Probably.

*Side Note* I exclusively shop at Wal-Mart because of the price matching + coupon policy. Remember this. If you play “the drugstore game” and get all the Extra Care Bucks/Register Rewards and such then good for you! I do not have the time nor the patience to play. So…I only go to one store, once a week. Also, note that my particular Wal-Mart price matches the final price of the drugstore (I understand that some stores do not do this). For example, if a razor is normally $9.97 at Wal-Mart and it’s on sale at CVS for $7.99 and when purchased you earn $2.00 in Extra Care Bucks, that means at CVS and at Wal-Mart your final price is $5.99. With a $5.00 off coupon (which I had), my final cost on a $10 razor was $.99. Not bad at all. Does that make sense?

Also, note that our Kroger here only doubles coupons up to $.50. If they doubled up to $1, I would most likely go to Kroger too for their deals. They DO NOT price match though, remember that. Typically, I save anywhere from $100-$150 per week on price matching alone, then other $50-$100 with coupons. So, the major savings is with the price matching.

3. Then, I scan all the sales papers. In my region the main stores that have competitive prices are CVS, Walgreens, Rite Aid, Mejier and Kroger.  Almost always, Wal-Mart has the cheapest price for regularly priced items in health/beauty and food (let’s face it, I’m not exactly shopping for electronics). So in the rare event that I cannot find something on sale or a coupon, Wal-Mart is the cheapest option. Now, as I’m scanning the sales papers I’m mostly interested in the killer deals. I am personally trying to not only buy groceries for weekly meals, but for our growing stockpile as well. So, I’ve got my eyes peeled for the cheapest food/products I can find. I only stockpile what I can get for free or very close to free (which is shockingly quite a bit).

As I said in an earlier post, I do not meal plan and then go shopping. I cook our meals based on the weekly deals and/or my stockpile.

4. That said, as I’m scanning I think of what we really need. Are there any essentials that have to be purchased this week? For us, it was dog food, so sale or no sale, coupon or no coupon, our doggies had to have food.

5. The more that I shop and save the more I crave spending as little as possible. So, one item that I would have liked to get, not an essential, but a want, would be Kraft Singles. I am a sucker for cheese and crackers and my Bitzy is too. So this week they’re on sale for $2.50 at Kroger. That’s quite a bit less than Wal-Marts $2.98 price. However, about a month ago I got them for $1 apiece in a 10 for 10 mega event that Kroger had. So, clearly I cannot pay more than $1 apiece. Again, you have to figure out what needs you have verses what you want. This will really help you plan your attack. I want the Kraft singles, however I’m not willing to pay $2.50 for them. They can wait. There isn’t a right or wrong way, you just have to figure out YOUR way.

6. As I scan the ads I write down all the items that are great deals, then I write down the sales price and what store the deal is from.

7. After my list is complete, I go through my coupons to match them with the sales items. If there are items that I do not have a coupon for (there always are) I go online and find one. Almost always I can find at least one. If you go to the company’s website they will often have a coupon tab or you can try Facebook. If you “like” their page a lot of companies will give you a coupon. Also, many of the awesome coupon blogs out there have a “Coupon Database” (iheartthemart, southernsavers, krazycouponlady) and you can type in what coupon you need and they’ll tell you if there is one. It’s pretty amazing.

*Side note* With online coupons you can only print 2 coupons per computer, FYI.

8. Now that you have your list and coupons in order make a final list. Organize by section in the store (Healthy/Beauty, Food, etc). Then, go back and match each coupon with your item to make sure that you’re all set. Make a column on your list giving you YOUR final price. This way, at checkout, you’ll know if a coupon didn’t go through based on the final number.

9. If you find a free and/or great deal on something that you will use and you want to stockpile it, consider buying extra coupons on Ebay or a coupon clipping service. I was able to get 50 boxes of Finish dishwashing tablets for $8.50 last week thanks to the $2.00 I spent on Ebay to get more Finish coupons. Now I have a 3 year supply of Finish tablets. They are normally $3.98 and I paid $.17 per box.

*Side note* Before we moved to this house I would never have been able to stockpile due to lack of storage. Now I have plenty of room to build a good stockpile, if you don’t, it’s fine, only buy what you need and enjoy the savings! If you do have the space consider building a stockpile for things that you regularly use, like say, dishwashing tablets (which I use every single day).

10. After I’ve gone through my list and matched with coupons, then I go back through my coupon binder to see if there are any coupons that are expiring soon that I would like to use. If so, pull those coupons and go back through the ads to see if those items are on sale. If so, add them to your list!

*Side Note* While there are generally not coupons for produce and meat you can get great deals on meat that is discounted because it’s expiring soon (I buy and stick in the freezer). Also, you can price match the meat prices per pound. A few weeks ago, a store in town (I can’t remember which one) had Butterball ground turkey on sale for $.99 per pound. Wal-Marts price was $3.98 per pound. When I went to get the turkey there was a coupon attached to the package for $1 off. Making it FREE. So I got 10 pounds of Ground Turkey for FREE. Then, last week KMart had Butterball Turkey Bacon on sale for $1.00 apiece (normally $2.98 at Wal-Mart), I had several $.55 off coupons making them $.45 each. Also, I have found that Mejier and Aldi almost always has the best prices on produce. A few weeks ago Aldi advertised their whole pineapples for $.99 and Wal-Marts price was $4.99 apiece (who in their right mind pays $5 for a pineapple?). So, the deals are out there, you just have to look for them!

11. Once you get to the store, DO NOT STRAY FROM YOUR LIST. If you see something you want, remember it and look for the coupon later.

12. Lastly, hand your coupons to the cashier individually. I know this is somewhat psychotic but I have found that it proves to be worth it. A few weeks ago a $3 coupon didn’t scan and I didn’t realize it ’til later, after I had already lost the receipt:(. So, from then on I vowed to hand each coupon to the cashier to make sure that it scans.

Now, to give you some REAL examples, here are some samples items from my shopping trip last night.

20 Smart Ones- Normally $2.98: Kroger had them on sale for $2.00 apiece with a “if you by 10 you get $4 off” deal. So, if you buy 20, you get $8 off. Right? So, that’s a total of $32. Then, I found 2 $4 off if you buy 10. So, now I have price matched 20 Smart Ones for $32, with $8 in coupons, making my total $24. Then, when I got to the store there was coupons on the product for $3 off when you buy 10 (so I was able to use 2 of them). So, I ended up getting 20 Smart Ones for $18. My price without coupons or price matching would have been $59.60.

2 Scrubbing Bubbles One Step Cleaner Refill- Normally $3.98: CVS had them on sale this week for $2.50 apiece. I had a Buy One Get One Free coupon make them $1.25 apiece.

2 Visine Dry Eye Drops- Normally $3.45 apiece: Walmart.com has a Visine coupon for $3 off (I printed off 2). I paid $.45 each.

5 pounds of Honeycrisp Apples- Normally $1.97 per pound: Mejier had them on sale this week for $.99 per pound. So, I saved 50% on apples.

6 Boxes of Uncle Bens Whole Wheat Rice- Normally $2.88 apiece: On sale this week for $.99 (I forget where), I had 3 buy 2 save $1 coupon making my final price: $.49 per box.

Is this helpful? Do you see that you can eat well and still save money?

I truly hope that you have found this to be helpful. I am having a blast saving money and I sure hope that you will give it a shot…it’s so worth it.

Love to all,

Dear Brother Bear,

In the big scheme of life you’ll come to realize that time is tricky. Sometimes time flies (mainly when you’re having fun- like when you’re on vacation) and others it drags on like molasses (like in Geometry class). I can tell you honestly that the past six months have been a mixture of the most challenging moments of my life, mixed with the sweetest, most amazing moments as well. And for you, my love, six months marks the entirety of your life. For it was only six short months ago that you entered this great big world.

And guess what?

The world got a whole lot brighter the moment you made your entrance.

I’m not just saying that because I’m your Mama, ya know. You truly are a light. A beautiful shining light.

You have always been mostly happy. Sure, you have your fussy days, but overall, you’re extremely happy and compliant. You smile at me, your sissy, your daddy, strangers, Christmas trees, the TV, basically any old thing is your best buddy.

Today I took you to your 6 month well check up and when they gave you those nasty shots you didn’t even cry.  I’m sure it’s because of your yummy delicious chubby legs! Not one tear, I tell ya!  You continue to amaze me with your resilience, laid back nature and outgoing personality.

The other day as I held you and snuggled with you God gave me a very beautiful insight…He reminded me that even though I wanted you, and loved you long before you were born, I could never have imagined how amazing you would truly be. Every prayer, desire, and hope I had for you has been answered more beautifully than anything I could have hoped or imagined (Ephesians 3:20).

You are absolutely my dream come true, love. I never want you to doubt how loved you are.

Not now, not ever.

I am so proud of you baby boy, already.

I love you to the moon and back,

Mama

All my life I have listened to people say, “Just Wait.”

In Kindergarten it was, “Just wait ’til 1st grade, you learn subtraction and it’s really hard.”

Same goes for 8th grade, “Just wait ’til high school, balancing sports and studies is tough!”

Then it was the “just wait’s” for certain classes in high school and then college.

My personal favorite, “Just wait ’til after college graduation when you’re in the real world.”

I always hated when people said that. Like college isn’t the “real world.” College is freaking hard. I remember thinking that at least when I got into the “real world” I wouldn’t have to go to class all day and study all night.

“The real world” sounded dreamy.

Anyway, after college it was “just wait ’til your married.” Some people were saying this as a positive thing, like, “Just wait ’til your married, it’s amazing,” but more often than not it was, “Just wait ’til your married, then you’ll never be able to do anything again, so go travel and live it up!”

Then, it was “just wait ’til you have kids.” Again, sometimes it was positive and then sometimes negative.

It seems like my whole life people have told me to “Just Wait.”

I regret to inform those peeps that rather than just waiting around I have actually LIVED my life with a positive attitude rather than waiting on something harder, better, MORE.

What’s wrong with just being in the moment?

Granted, if you want a 5 year plan, I’m not your girl. But if you want to have a spontaneous dance party in your living room, you know exactly who to call.

Realizing these things makes me wonder how to instill a spirit of contentment in the now in my little ones. To realize that the future is uncertain, but we have today, so let’s enjoy it.

As I prayed for our family last night I didn’t ask God to make my babies smart, successful or wealthy, I asked Him to make them joyful, positive and to delight in Him. That’s all.

Somewhere along the way our society has stopped looking at today as a gift and has become obsessed with stressing about tomorrow.

So will you join me in delighting in today? Enjoying those around us and being grateful?

Don’t wait.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

Some days I feel as if I could sit down, put my fingers on the keys of my laptop and words would burst out of my soul. I would write beautiful, smart, witty things that would inspire and provide laughter to the masses.

But shockingly, a 22 month old and 3 month old really don’t care about said minute and demand my full attention.

Hence, I guess we’ll never know if those words truly would pour out of me.

Probably not.

I would get distracted by People.com or the mountains of laundry that need to be folded and put away and then those words would be bottled for another day.

The real truth is that when the babies are finally asleep I am far too exhausted to spell my name much less write anything that is coherent, much less meaningful.

That said, the utter exhaustion that I am experiencing is the most precious place that I’ve ever been. These sweet babies are growing so rapidly that I can hardly keep up.

Bitzy’s language development is tripling by the day and my sweet baby boy now weighs 17 pounds! Amazing how they grow isn’t? What a wonderful way to spend my days.

Someone much smarter than me once said, “How you spend your days is how you spend your life.” So true. I feel overwhelmingly blessed to spend my days picking up toys, kissing boo-boos, changing diapers, reading books and loving on these two sweet ones. Even with Bitzy’s new term, “No way!” for everything I ask her to do, which results in time-outs and tantrums, and with Brothers new desire to only sleep in my arms (which clearly I LOVE), I am amazed that I get to be with them all day, every day. It is a gift that humbles me.

So, at this point in my life no profound words will be written anywhere but my heart, as I desperately try to memorize the moments that are flying by.

Maybe when I’m 50 I will write something fabulous.

Until then, this is all you get.

Ha!

I hope and pray that God grants me a long life to experience all of these “somedays.”

Someday when I’m older I will stop a young mother in the store and say, “Cherish this time, it goes by too fast.”

Someday I will gaze into my grand babies eyes and swear that it was just yesterday that I held their daddy in my arms.

Someday I will look back on these days of frustration about naps and time-outs with Bitzy and laugh at how silly I was.

Someday I will zip up my beautiful daughters wedding dress and remember singing “Zip-a-dee-doo-da” every night as I put on her jammies.

Someday I will sit on the porch with my Zach and remember these days of library and zoo trips. The snacks, the nursing, the spit-up. I will cry and pray and beg God to protect my babies, to keep them safe and to give them a heart of kindness and love.

Someday I will cry tears of joy for the gift of these beautiful children, for the opportunity and privilege I have to be their mommy…just as I’m doing now, because it’s true: It just goes by too fast.

Someday will come before I know it. So…

Today I will cherish.

Today I will love.

Today I will laugh.

Today I will hug.

Today I will rock.

Today I will enjoy.

Random picture for you. Sometimes my “excited eyes” become my creepy eyes. Yikes. Good thing my girl is SO CUTE.

As I sit, my two miracles are napping, I just took a shower, cleaned two bathrooms and sat down to write something wonderful for you, my sweet friends.

But, as I have suspected for awhile now, my brain is only firing on half cylinders. I have stared at this screen for five minutes without one original thought. And then I remembered a friend of mine once told me that after she had kids (she has 4), she lost some intellect and gained strengths in organization, multi-tasking, cooking, etc. At the time I thought she was nuts…but now, has this happened to me?

I can cook dinner with a baby on my hip with no problem, but for the life of me I cannot spell.

I can fold and put away laundry all while dancing like a champ to the Hokey Pokey, but I can’t remember the words to the Star Spangled Banner (could I ever?).

I am teaching my 22 month old how to count to 20, but I can barely remember how to do long division.

Am I alone here? Perhaps it’s exhaustion or forgetfulness. Maybe my brain will snap back.

All I know is when I look at this screen, my ideas take a nap and I’m left to wonder what kind of mush my brain will become with a couple more kiddos.

My sweet pea,

I fear that I’m awfully late on writing your 16 month letter simply because it’s way more fun to play with you and be with you than writing about/to you!

It’s true…you are so much fun to be with. I laughingly call you my sidekick, but it’s true. You’re my little best friend. I just love being with you, laughing with you, playing and delighting in you darling.

Playing with babies is a common theme in our house. You LOVE to put your babies to down for naptime.

There isn’t one morning snuggle time, daytime playtime or evening night-night routine that I take for granted. I absolutely cherish every moment with you…I believe that our sweet heavenly Father has given me this gift. I never tire of you…ever. I hope and pray that He will also give you the gift of appreciation of this beautiful life that we get to share together. We are blessed my love…so very, very blessed to have each other.

These days you are still completely obsessed with being outside. You love it like no other. You love your puppies (as per usual), coloring, playing with sticks, blowing bubbles and digging in the dirt. It is such a joy to watch you piece this puzzle of a world together through the wonderment of the outdoors. I’m looking so forward to the weather warming up so that we can play outside all day, every day.

Bitzy with her sweet cousin. They are so precious together.

The clock is still ticking on when your baby brother will arrive…only 6 more weeks ’til you’re a big sister!!!  You’ve been hearing a lot of this term “big sister” and I know that it means nothing to you at this point, but you’ll learn soon enough how much little brother is gonna change your life. I just know that you are going to be an amazing big sister. You are so loving and compassionate I’m positive that you will be the best big sister ever!!!

Again, I just cannot stress to enough have very much your daddy and me love and adore you. We are so grateful and thrilled to be your mommy and daddy and we thank God every day for you and your precious heart.

Love you to the moon and back,

Mama

As I sit at my Mama’s house examining the overflow of stockings on the fireplace and searching for a place to sit in the sea of my siblings, toys, my squealing baby girl, and friends, I am overwhelmed at the tangible blessings in front of my eyes.

Family.

Life.

Health.

Love.

But mostly I am thankful for a tiny baby King named Jesus.  The One who brings us all together in His name, the One who calls us to remember how He came from His heavenly throne in heaven to experience life just as we do.

He didn’t have to ya know? It wasn’t on His bucket list or anything. When you’re the Son of God, things like crazy adventures, road trips and long walks down the beach aren’t quite as magical when you experience them as a human rather than as Creator. It’s not like leaving a perfect paradise of heaven for a sinful and selfish earthly home would be pleasant.

But still, He came.

He came as a tiny baby in a manager to a mommy that wasn’t old enough to have a drivers license, much less be a mother.

There wasn’t a parade welcoming the King of the universe into the world.

No trumpets.

No carriages.

No flags.

Nope. None of that.

Just a teenager and her fiancee meeting their Creator wrapped in swaddling clothes.

I wonder if as Mary held her newborn son that she considered how His birth would be the timetable in which all of history is set? Or if she realized that although He came to earth in such humility that He would come back in such a glorious fashion that every single knee will bow and every tongue confess that He is Lord?

Did she know that the tiny baby that was pressed against her chest would eventually be pierced for her own sins?

Did she know how her heart would break?

Could she imagine how much one person could bring such joy, but such heartache?

I hope not.

I hope that as Mary caressed the cheek of her son, that she memorized the lines on His face. That she ran her young finger up and down His tiny legs and arms and tickled His baby feet. That she rocked Him and whispered how much she loved Him.

That she breathed Him in and lived in that very moment. Not the past or the future, just the present.

So in honor of Mary and her sweet baby King Jesus, I will do the same.

I will not worry about yesterday or tomorrow, I will sit and look around at the faces of my family and breathe them in and memorize them. I will soak in the pleasure of my sweet baby girl’s Christmas joy that has absolutely nothing to do with presents or Santa. I will bask in the glow of Christmas lights that shine in my soul mates eyes, and then…

I will thank Jesus for coming. For His gift of love and the incomparable delight of being His daughter.

Have a Merry Christmas!

I would be all cliche and annoying and make a big ole list of everything I’m thankful for this year, but friends, the whole world wide web couldn’t contain my absolute and complete sense of gratitude that I feel.  There is no need for a list when the Lord has so completely filled my cup so beautifully full.

The past couple of Thanksgivings haven’t been as blissfully sweet as this one, as 2 years ago I was grappling with our miscarriage and struggling to make sense of it all and last year I was living on little to no sleep and spent every waking second trying to soothe the blood curdling screams of my beautiful Bitzy. So, this year seems extra sweet.

I have a gorgeous and healthy family. My husband loves me and is a faithful servant of Christ and of this family, A healthy baby in my arms and one growing and kicking in my belly. Not to mention that my parents are wonderfully funny, healthy and as precious as ever. My siblings are smart, fun and loving Jesus….I told ya that my cup overfloweth.

So this year, I’m soaking it up. I’m breathing in the air of gratitude and enjoying the moments…for I know that I’m being filled just to be emptied again (lyrics to Hillsong’s Desert Song).

So from my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving.  God is good indeed.

I know that you all are simply dying to see pictures from my Bitzy’s 1st Birthday Party…never fear, today the wait is over.  Remember the theme was Candy Corn!!!!

On October 16th we celebrated party #1 in my home country of NC, and then we finished strong for party #2 here at home on her actual birthday. Both parties were way fun with lots of wonderful family and friends, as well as the first & second time that sugar had ever graced the lips of my beautiful girl.

It’s true. While I am a sugar addict and try to eat as many processed foods as humanly possible, I feel very strongly that my Bitzy only eat fresh and organic foods. Does that make me a nerdy mommy or what?  It’s OK, make fun. I figure she’ll have years and years on her own to eat total crap, but as long as I’m solely responsible for what goes in her mouth, she’s eating the really good stuff.

Anyway, at her 2 parties she did have cake and icing. Honestly, it wasn’t quite the affair that I assumed it would be. I mean, the child is genetically predisposed to love sugar, and she did eat it, but she wasn’t overly impressed.

All this to say, we had a blast. An absolutely wonderful and amazing celebration of life..and here are the pictures to prove it!

Party #1:

The loves of my life.

I mean, cutest candy corn evah or what?!

Please direct your attention to the cowgirl in the far right on the floor. Little Reba. I die.

She looks so mischievous in this picture.

Some of the decor.

Family picture before all the fun began!

And Now to Party #2!!!!

This is the banner that I paid $79,000 when I shoulda paid $.99…but alas, it’s cute right?

The spread!

Basking in the glow of her presents!

I am one blessed gal..look at my family!!! Thank you Jesus!

I can’t believe I have a toddler!!!!

Classic Bitzy pose in the party aftermath.

I hope you enjoyed the pictures! Now to begin thinking about next year…:)

I love Sundays.

Love them.

Here are a few reasons that I’m a lover of Sundays…

Exodus 20:11
For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

Isn't she lovely?

As we have well determined, I’m not a scientist.  I barely passed all of my science classes (remember the Birds debacle: if not, read it here and here), I’m not really sure what a beaker is, and I surely don’t know anything about the periodic table, but I do know that we inherit traits from our parents, grandparents and so on.

So maybe rather than a scientist I’m a geneticist.

My Grey’s Anatomy degree has failed me yet again.

That said, this whole circle of life is a beautiful thing.  I wonder if my Great, Great Grandmother, Molly, ever thought there would be a younger version of herself in a different time? I hope so.

More importantly, I wonder if she had beautiful kinky curly hair?  Porcelain skin? A keen memory?

If she did, she certainly didn’t pass them on to me.  Instead, I wonder if she passed her most horrendous traits.

For example, did she have the loudest most annoying laugh ever?  Or, enormous size 11 ugly feet? Or, like me, could sweat more than any other human alive- ever?

Probably.

I got some good genes I tell ya.

It’s true that my laugh could be heard from miles away.  I try to hold it in, to not scream laugh, but I just can’t help it.  Life is so funny that I just can’t help it!  And it’s true that my monster feet are not only huge but are in terrible disarray from months of neglect: AKA- having a baby.  Having that little Bitzy has lessened my intense desire for manicured feet.  And lastly, the sweat. The buckets, piles and trash bags full of my sweaty sweat.

It’s disgusting.

I don’t perspire people.

I cannot dab the sweat.

It pours and pours.

It’s ugly, violent, disgusting sweat.

In fact, once in a basketball game my hands were so sweaty that the ball went right through my hands. I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to catch a basketball with slippery wet hands, but it ain’t pretty.

Or the endless walks that I’ve taken with friends (Ahem, Julie) and I look like I’ve jumped in the swimming pool with my soaking wet sweaty clothes and they look like they’re ready for prom when we’re done.

No fair!

Or my personal favorite, at a spinning class the instructor told the whole class that they should all be drinking as much water as me. When I said, oh really, why? She replied, “You are sweating so much that you bound to be drinking tons of water.  Good for you.”

Yay. Freaking good for me.

I wanted to say, “Honey, this ain’t my first rodeo with sweat and I’m embarrassed enough as it is. Can we please not point it out to the ENTIRE class lady?”

Mortifying.

Even with my most unattractive features, I’m still proud of my heritage.

Although I do wish that in the history books they would list these little details just so their offspring generations down the road would have a heads up.

So, for my great, great granddaughter, I’m sorry for your screeching laugh, large and disgusting feet and sweaty sweatiness.  Be assured that if I could endure it, so can you.  Promise. Love you!  Granny.

Ta-Ta my darlings!  Happy Monday!

1980. Luke and Molly in Happier Times.

Having a big brother can be likened to being in an abusive relationship.  You take the beatings, he says he’s sorry, you forgive him over and over again. Then, right when you think you’re best friends forever he turns on you and the beatings continue.

Or, at least that’s how it was for me growing up.

My brother Luke is 3.5 years older than me. The perfect age difference where he could truly terrorize me and I would still love him. He would beat me, sure, but the mind games were even more terrifying.

I have countless stories of him promising me that if I played GI Joe with him then he would play Barbie with me. Except magically after our marathon session of GI Joe, he was “too tired” for Barbie, or more often,he would laugh in my face that I would ever believe that he would subject himself to such horrors as Barbie.

1985. Awesome.

Or the times that he nearly drowned me (or so it seemed anyway), slapped me, there was even an incidence of him dropping me on my head as a baby “on accident.” Ahem.

Needless to say, as a kid, Luke had it out for me.  But being the perfect angel that I was, I just kept loving him despite the abuse.

Ahem. It is somewhat possible that I may or may not have evoked the abuse. But for the sake of this little story, I was innocent.

But there was one fateful night that his abuse went all wrong.

A little background first.

At this time our bedrooms were upstairs. Luke’s was on the left, mine on the right. Between our rooms there was a bathroom that was being built, but it was still under construction.  So picture,  2 bedrooms and the makings of a bathroom in between, filled with sawdust, building materials, ya know, constructiony stuff.

If my memory serves me correctly I was around 11 and Luke was 14. I was still a precious little girl and he was, well, a teenager.

OK, now on with the little story.

So one night in particular, around 1:00am, my darling brother was bored in his room and decided to play a little joke on his ever loving sister.

He got a small cardboard box, put some paper in it and lit it on fire in the hallway.

I mean, when you’re playing a joke on someone don’t you light a fire inside of a house near a construction zone? Seems like the perfect idea for a joke, right?

Big Dummy.

When the fire started he began yelling, “Molly, Molly! There’s a fire and we’ve gotta get out of here!”

So, of course in all of my perfect sleeping bliss I begin screaming hysterically while seeing my young life flash before my eyes.

I start screaming, “What do we do? Luke save me! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!”

Because even as an arsonist, he was my hero. (There’s gotta be some kind of psychological study about the relationships between big brothers and little sisters).

When he sees my reaction he begins dying laughing and making fun of me and my hysteria.

When I realize that he’s joking, I scream louder and get more hysterical of course. (Since I didn’t die by fire, it was kind of hilarious).

So, after he had his laugh at my expensive he goes into the bathroom (under construction remember) and tries to turn the water on put the fire out.

One tiny little problem.  The water was off in the bathroom. It wasn’t exactly functional at that time.

Now, I begin to see a bit of concern on his face and of course, I’m still screaming “FIRE, FIRE, FIRE” and plotting how I’m going to jump out of the window.

By then, Luke had taken the box (the one that’s on fire) and was running down the stairs.

2010. From Arsonist, To Family Man.

Now, I’m no scientist. I’m a doctor, remember? My degree from Grey’s Anatomy never covered fire hazards, but I do remember from 4th grade that fire is fueled by air.

Right?

We all got up close and personal with that little life lesson that night.

By the time Luke got down the stairs the box was flaming, like big mammoth flames and I’m still screaming, “FIRE, FIRE, FIRE.” It’s like I was a machine on repeat, it’s all I could muster.

In addition to the massive flames, the box was also extremely hot. Luke dropped the box at the bottom on the stairs on the, you guessed it, carpet.

By now, the box was still flaming, the carpet begins smoking, I am screaming and Luke is wondering if he would a.)die by fire or b.)from being grounded without parole.

Clearly, the parents were awake by now.

Mama comes stumbling in bleary eyed from having a colicky baby and is telling us to be quiet. Never you mind that the house is on fire, we mustn’t wake up the baby (now, I so understand what that’s like).

By now, Luke is in total panic and throws the box on the wooden deck. I mean, the carpet is already ruined, why not try to burn the deck down too? That way, there is no escape.

I’m still screaming, Mama is telling me to be quiet, Luke is pacing and finally someone has the wits about them to throw water on the box. I honestly do not remember who this magical person was. An angel? Smokey the Bear? My 3 year or 3 month old sister?

Not sure, what I do know is that I was privvy to possibly the best practical joke gone wrong experience ever.

What was he thinking?

Hilarious.

I have no memories of what happened after that. I’m assuming that he got in trouble and that we all went back to bed, but who knows?

So in honor of my brother who is no longer an arsonist and is now a normal, loving father and husband, thank you for not setting me on fire on that fateful night.

Good Daddy!

The moral of this little story? Arson and abuse are just part of childhood, right? Makes life more FUN!

PS: Are you starting to understand why I’m so crazy? It’s in my blood people.

Happy Wednesday!

Have you ever been to a fish fry?

If not, please go.  Get off the computer and google “Fish Fry” and find one in your area.

If you don’t have one, that’s OK, just get in the car and go to Calabash, NC. Drive directly to “The Seafood Hut” and order anything you’d like. Everything is fried, and I do mean everything. As in, they don’t even have baked potatoes, in fact, they don’t even have an oven.  Only fryers.  My kinda place.

If you still refuse me, go to Wal-Mart and buy a Fry Daddy, which is basically a big pot of hot oil (awesome), bread some fish, fry it, and finally enjoy every single glorious bite.

After you have completed the above tasks then you’re cleared to continue reading.

As you can see, if it’s fried then I like it (except for fried pickles. Makes.Me.Wanna.Vomit).

So on vacation with my big beautiful family, I made it my personal mission to eat as much fried food as humanly possible.  And as much sugar as I could find, soft drinks, doughnuts, and hush puppies and anything else that I could get my grubby little fingers on.

By the way, I have a confession: Hush puppies and I have a long standing love affair.

While my heart belongs to sugar, I do occasionally cheat on my one true love with hush puppies.

Please don’t tell my beloved sugar.  It will only hurt it’s feelings.

Anyway, back to my week of gluttony.

In my defense, I have been on hard core Weight Watchers for nearly 4 months (which equals a lifetime in MollyWorld), I was due for a breakedy break.

And a break I did have.

After months of a diet of watermelon, Lean Cuisines, veggies and grilled meat, I turned to a life of a carnival worker.  While I didn’t have any fried Twinkies (not that I was above it- I just didn’t have the opportunity), I capitalized on my break and ate, and ate and ate some more.

Yes, I am reluctantly back on WW and will hang my head in shame when I walk in next week, but when they inevitably tell me that I’ve gained at least 23 pounds in a week, I will just close my eyes and taste the luxurious fried flounder with a side of hush puppies, and go to my happy place in fry heaven.

I’ll keep you posted on the damage that was done…stay tuned in my adventures in my ‘Baby Weight Be Gone Campaign,’ and join in me in hoping that I’ve only gained 21 pounds, rather than 23.

(Totally, totally, totally worth it).