Meet our new addition.

No, we aren’t pregnant nor did a stork mysteriously land on our doorstep and deliver a baby into my arms.

Although I wouldn’t really mind Mr. Stork paying us a visit. Someday, that is.

Anyway, there is a new little one in our house.

She shall be named,  To-To.

You see, it began innocently enough.

On Saturday Zach had a great idea for what to do after naptime. He wanted to go to a nearby outdoor mall, walk around and eat dinner. It would be a change of pace for our little family.

We N-E-V-E-R do things like this. I literally could count on both hands the times that we’ve been out to eat with our babies. We just don’t do it. #1. As I’ve said before, eating out is a total waste of money. #2. It’s risky. My babies are very well behaved and happy little people almost all the time…but I’ve been in enough restaurants where kids start losing their minds and screaming their ever lovin’  heads off to know that things can get ugly very quickly. #3. It takes too long. I don’t know about your kiddos, but mine require a lot of physical activity. They both needs lots of running around/crawling around time. Restaurants are generally too slow for us.

We opted for a quick option and went to Five Guys for dinner = Delish. Then, carried onward to one of the greatest marketing schemes I’ve ever witnessed: Build a Bear.

Bitzy was smitten from the first moment, what with the big solider bears out front. She’s a sucker for Teddy Bears and soliders. The combo pack was almost too much to handle.

When we explained that she could pick out any animal she wanted she immediately went for the kitty, as she dismissed my plea for the 50% bunny rabbits. Go figure.

So she got the kitty and we took her to get her stuffing and her little kitty heart put in. Of course it was a mere $5 for the kitty noise and ONLY another $4 for the thumpety heart beat.  Since we had already been sucked into the magical world of Build a Bear, why not?

As the nice lady put the heart into the kitty she said, “Okay Bitzy, what is your Kitty’s name?” Without skipping a beat Bitzy said, “TO-TO OF COURSE.”

Of course! Remember that this child has never seen The Wizard of Oz so I have no clue where the name To-To came from.

So, friends, we have a To-To.

But wait! To-To would not be complete without a very cute outfit now would she?

When we went “to the mall” as Bitzy said to pick out her clothes it was declared that “TO-TO NEEDS PINK. PINK IS HER FAVORITE COLOR EVER!”

Hence, what To-To wants, To-To gets.

Bitzy picked out a very cute pink ensemble of a pink shirt and matching pink skirt. I was actually impressed at how well the outfit matched. My girl has got style!

As we were checking out the genius saleslady said, “Now did you remember To-To’s panties?”

Bitzy says, “MAMA, TO-TO NEEDS HER PANITIES! WE MUST GET THEM SO SHE CAN GO POO POO PEE PEE IN DA POTTY!”

Of course she does.

There went another $3.50.

Although I will say that since Bitzy has been fairly resistant to potty training, I was willing to pay $3.50 for a pair of kitty panities if it would encourage Bitzy to give up her diapers.

I’m happy to say that when we got home Bitzy “taught” To-To how to go on the potty, but since I’m getting a firm “NO FANKS,” in regards to going again. Ha!

The best part? My Bitzy was beaming the entire time. She was so thrilled with this little kitty. And really, she has barely let go of her since.

Money well spent friends, money well spent.

My children are animal lovers. They both are completely obsessed with animals, animal noises, looking at animal pictures, petting animals, watching mommy and daddy act like animals (which I’m sure the masses would love in all it’s ridiculousness). If it’s an animal of any kind my babies are smitten.

So, last fall we got a zoo membership on a whim and honestly, I think it’s the best (baby related) money we’ve ever spent. On average we go once a week and love every minute.

Recently we discovered the tapir at our zoo and Bitzy is tapir crazy now. She wants to watch tapir videos, make tapir noises, color them, act like them. Her favorite game is that I’m the mama tapir and she’s the baby. It’s actually quite hilarious.

Meanwhile, my laid back baby boy sits in the stroller eating his snacks, just as happy as can be.

The zoo? It’s always a big hit.

But on days like today when it’s 70 degrees and breezy with the sun shining brightly, it’s absolute heaven.

Everyone seemed to have a skip in their step today at the zoo, we all were walking on sunshine. It was wonderful to see everyone so happy!

Anyway, here are some pictures from our zoo excursion today.

 If you have a zoo near you, do yourself a favor and check it out. I bet you won’t regret it!

PS: Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE being a stay-at-home mama lately? Ah, I love it more than words can say. 

 

Introducing my sweet blogger friend, Keely. She not only is a fantastic writer, she is also a fellow mama to 2 beautiful girls. She has been so kind to write a guest blog for me…I hope you enjoy!!!!

I try so hard to be a good mother.

Or at least the kind of mother that the media depicts as being “good.”

And by Media, I mean Other Parenting Blogs.

But the deck is stacked these days. Not only does one have to feed, clothe, and generally keep one’s kiddos healthy (all the time, too, not just for like a day or a week!), but we’re also in charge of entertaining, teaching, having a good amount of [supervised] “down time,” and Creating Moments…in a spotless home. And you’d better believe that the super-clean abode needs to be kept that way without chemicals or any other substance you wouldn’t want directly up the nostril of anyone residing with you. A Good Mother- as everybody on the internet knows- uses only eco-friendly products to sanitize her sustainably built home, the one that was created with with [naturally replenishing] bamboo flooring and/or solar panels. She also fashions homemade air fresheners out of whittled lemon peels.

(I may have made up that last part. Or, I’ve just unwittingly created a new thing and am already failing to do it often enough.)

Chemical-free cleaning is the hardest part. (Mostly because I cannot afford that whole bamboo thing.) I’m a pretty good Mom on the other fronts; I love rolling around on the floor with my two daughters. I adore singing made-up songs in made-up French. And, for the most part, our major health maladies can be fixed with a pirate Band-Aid and a cool mist humidifier.  But the green living thing? For the uninitiated, let’s just say that kids can make some truly horrific things happen in, on, or around their bodies in impressively short amounts of time. And gentle spritzes of vinegar and lemon can only sanitize so much. (Although it does make an exceptional salad dressing.) So sometimes industrial-strength cleansers are the only way to ensure germ-freeitude, short of burning play clothes, kitchen surfaces, and maybe even the kitchen itself.

And there you go. Filthy children and thoughts of burning down the kitchen. Not a Good Mother.

When I try to be a greener cleaner in the bathroom, I end up using way too many of those compostable wipes. It then occurs to me that, since we generally don’t compost, I’ve just shoved the entirety of my supplies right into the regular trash can. Strike One for saving the Earth.

And then, after I realize that I’ve just had my hands directly in the toilet bowl (with or without biodegradable wipes), I generally use industrial- strength bleach and way too much boiling hot water to wash my hands. (Strike Two. And a half.)

I try not to beat myself up about it. After all, no mother (even a Good one) is perfect all the time. This thought comforts me for roughly ten minutes. That’s when I find my infant (ignoring her BPA-free and stimulating wooden rattles) with a hairy cat toy in her mouth. So I throw the whole shebang away with nary a thought of recycling. (The cat toy, that is. I keep the baby and the cat hair.) Strike…let’s just go ahead and call it Strike Nine, because it’s already been a long day.

I haven’t given up hope, however, that Nora and Susannah will grow up to be responsible and environmentally friendly citizens of the world.

After all, they have exceptional table manners, despite seeing their mother eat cereal over the sink with a spatula.

There’s hope.

Wanna connect with Keely? Check out her blog here! Be sure to “like” Lolly Gag Blog on Facebook too!

Have a great day friends!

Me: “Guess what?! It’s a beautiful day today and we get to go outside and play!”

Bitzy: “NO FANKS. I HAVE JAMMIE DAY TODAY.”

Me: “But look! It’s really pretty outside and we can go to the park! Do you want to go to the bird park or walk to the park in your stroller?”

Bitzy: “NO FANKS MAMA. I STAY HOME. IT IS JAMMIE DAY TODAY.”

Me: “What if we look for a Huffalump?”

Bitzy: “NO FANK YOU MAMA. HUFFALUMP IS WIT WINNIE DA POOH. HE’S TIRED AND READY FOR A NAP. HE NOT WANT TO PLAY.”

Me: “Oh, okay. What if we go to the bird park and look for duckies and birdies? Maybe we could even go down the big slide!”

Bitzy: (taps her chin), “HMMMM, OH OKAY. WIT YOU AND BROTHER BEAR?”

Me: “Yes, only me and Brother bear.”

Bitzy: “WHAT ‘BOUT DADDY-O?”

Me: (the most dreaded part of the morning when I break it to her that daddy is at work) “Well, unfortunately Daddyo had to work today. I’m so sorry, it’s so sad.”

Bitzy: (Lips quivering, head in hands) “NO! I WANT DADDY-O TO GO TO BIRD PARK WIT ME AND YOU AND BROTHER BEAR. IT’S NOT FAIR!” (as she crosses her arms. She learned this trick from a friend of hers who is 4 years old. Lovely isn’t?).

Me: “The fair isn’t coming here for a few months. They’ll be cows, bach-bach chickens, piggies, horses and lots of other animals. Are you excited for the fair?”

Bitzy: (confused), “UM, SURE. CAN WE GO TODAY? PWESE MAMA, CAN I? CAN I? CAN I?”

Me: “I’m sorry baby, the fair isn’t for a few months. Maybe we could go to the bird park instead?”

Bitzy: (taps her chin), “UMM, OKAY. CAN LILLY BELLE COME?” (one of our puppies).

Me: “I’m sorry honey, she can’t. Maybe next time when Daddy comes with us she can.”

Bitzy: “OH, OKAY. MAYBE WE SEE A SQUIR? (getting the spelling right on how she says squirrel is tough. Just imagine the cutest pronunciation possible).

Me: “Oh yes! And maybe even a goose!”

Bitzy: “NO FANKS MAMA. GOOSES ARE SCARY. THEY SAY “HONK, HONK, HONKEDY HONK!” (runs away laughing hysterically).

Me: “No, geese are very nice. Let’s get dressed and we’ll go try to find one.”

Bitzy: “UM, NO FANKS. IT’S JAMMIE DAY REMEMBER?”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s so nice outside! We can run and jump and play like Hannah” (in one of her books).

Bitzy: “OOOHHHH LIKE HANNAH? (taps chin) INTERESTING. OKAY LET’S DO IT DUDE!”

After finally convincing her to take her jammies off the above outfit is what she insisted on wearing…which clearly was much too cold for our “beautiful day” of 50 windy degrees.

Oh well, who needs the park? We stayed inside and had a “COWGUR DAY” instead.

She better go into politics someday. She’s quite the salesman.

Have I mentioned lately how much this child slays me? Ah, I just want to eat her up!

There are many things about this picture that I love…and then some others that I find extremely disturbing.

As I always try to find the silver lining, let’s start with the positive. In fact, my friend Bethany has taught me the rule of PNP (Positive, Negative, Positive). So here we go:

Positive: Bitzy is having a blast. She’s a sucker for the playground. And the swing? Around 8 months old she began her love affair with swinging. Then, as suddenly as it started she banned all swings everywhere. Just the sight of them started her saying, “No, no, no!” Just recently she has shyly ventured back in. We’re starting slowly but surely. Kids are so strange and funny about things…

Negative: Will you look at me? I look like a frumpy Mommy. I may as well have on mom jeans. If I ever needed some motivation for Weight Watchers this is it. Well, and maybe a makeover from What Not to Wear. And I look old? When did I get so old?

Positive:  The owl hat. The cuteness just makes me die and go to heaven. Whoever came up with the concept of the owl hat needs a Nobel Prize. It just slays me. In case you need more evidence, here’s a picture of Brother wearing his too.

My Mama, AKA: Gammy got the sweet owl hats for my babies for Christmas. If you’d like to order one go here. (Linda has no idea that I’m doing this, so, SURPRISE Linda! I love the hats!!!).

Ya know those moments in life where you want time to stop? The moments that should be frozen in time and celebrated again and again?

We had one of those yesterday.

Typically Monday mornings are tough because we’re all adjusting to Daddy being at work. I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. Bitzy especially has a tough time. It’s a real heartbreaker when she wakes up in the morning all bright eyed and bushy-tailed and in the middle of reading books, rocking and nursing she looks at me and says, “WHERE DADDY AT?” I say, “Oh baby I’m so sorry, but Daddy is at work.”

Then the cries come.

The desperate, “NO, NO, NO. I WANT MY DADDY. I MISS MY DADDY. HE COME HOME NOW?”

It’s truly pitiful.

After she rejoins the world from the pit of her despair we all have to readjust.

That said, sometimes Mondays are a good day for an adventure. We get out of the house and “go to town” as my Mama would say.

So yesterday we had some errands to run, nothing major, but a few things that needed to happen. Things like picking up a prescription, using a Groupon at the store, and picking up an order at the mall.

Note: This is literally only the second time in Bitzy’s life that she can remember ever going to the mall. We’re just not really mall people. We’re Amazon.com people.

Anyway, picture us strolling into the mall in our Cadillac double stroller (which is somewhat like driving a tractor trailer. It’s big and loooooonnnnggggg), while I’m wearing Brother in the Bjorn. Bitzy is all, “WOW, WHOA, DID YOU SEE THAT MAMA? AWESOME! DOWN, PLEASE DOWN MAMA! I GET DOWN, DOWN, DOWN PLEASE!” Note that she’s just looking at racks of clothes and imagining how she can destroy as many displays as possible. It’s not like little elves are dancing at her eye level. Just boring racks of clothes.

I really resisted the urge of letting her frolic aimlessly in the department store, so we finally made it out into the mall  as I was convincing her to be patient.

But then, oh then it was all worth it. “MAMA, DID YOU SEE? IT’S A HORSEY IN THE SKY. IT’S A SUPERHERO HORSEY IN THE AIR. OH MAMA, THANK YOU FOR MY WATERFALL HORSEY IN THE JUNGLE!”

There is a place in one of our malls here with a pond of sorts. There are coins in the water made from hundreds of wishes and horses dancing through the sky. There are even huge palm trees.

When I looked around through 2 year old eyes, that is exactly what I saw. Horses flying through the sky and waterfalls in the jungle. As she looked around, she was amazed. Truly amazed. Then, she made up a story about the horses. “MAMA, THE HORSEY IS STUCK IN THE JUNGLE. I SAVE THEM. I SUPER BITZY BOO!”

And then, she said, “WHERE ALL DAT MONEY GO? I NEED MONEY TOO!”

I told her that sometimes people make a wish and throw money into the water and their wishes all come true. Then I said, “Bitzy, what’s your magic wish?”

She said, “I CLOSE MINE EYES AND MILLIONS OF WISHES FOR MY MOMMY TO BE BEST FRIEND ALWAYS. AMEN!”

And then, I died from delight.

All the while, my baby boy is laughing at Bitzy like she is the funniest thing in the world (which she is, if you ask me).

This simple moment was absolutely magical.

After lots of storytelling and laying on the ground looking up at the jungle (Bitzy, not me), and even laying on her belly gazing into the water (and me asking her NOT to lick the floor), I convinced her to run, run, run and find “The Nuggie House.” AKA: Chick Fila.

While we’re “running” which is really a whole lot more like prancing, we walk by a store that has music blaring. She stops and says, “MY MUSIC! IT’S TIME TO DANCE EVERYONE! I DANCING, I TWIRL. I A BALLERINA! MAMA, YOU DANCE WIT ME?”

Oh my goodness. Seeing my beautiful precious girl twirling and dancing in circles and literally making every person within ear shot smile from ear to ear, well, it just made my heart sing.

So, we danced. My Bitzy, Brother and I we danced right there in the middle of the mall with our tractor trailer stroller and diaper bag for a good 5 minutes. She didn’t want to stop…

And neither did I.

Dear time, please stand still. I’m having the time of my life.

I have been accused of being many things in my life.

Some good, some not so good, but no one can ever accuse me of not taking enough pictures.

Often when I ride down memory lane I will remember the pictures I took at the time and then weave all the memories together.

What did people do without cameras back in the day? They were probably much more concerned about milling their own wheat and trying to not get eaten by bears, right?

Maybe that’s why in all the old pictures people look so mad. They’re just tired!

Anyway, it’s safe to say that I’m obsessed with my family, we’ve established that to be sure. Part of that obsession includes capturing each moment and taking time now and later to ooo and ahhh over my sweet ones.

That said, wanna oooo and aahh with me?

Shall we?

Oh lets!

Notice that Bitzy is trying to put her sunglasses on, upside down.

My big boy enjoying his head not flopping around. Neck strength is really something to smile about!

Enjoying the beauty of the mountains.

My sister Katie and Brother just hanging out.

My little explorer.

How about a little eggs and bacon for your morning bike ride?

Fun day at the zoo!

Ah, isn’t love grand?!

Have a great weekend ya’ll!

As I have said before, I don’t really understand grammar. Sure, I have a basic understanding and I try to not sound like the total hillbilly that I actually am (thank you mountains of NC), but overall, I have more questions about grammar than I have answers.

Rather than taking responsibility for this shortcoming, I’ll blame it on public education. Blame is the American way after all. Darn public schools! It’s all your fault! (Truth be told I was probably combing my hair or drawing pictures of rainbows rather than actually learning whether I should use “I” or “me” or when to use that blasted apostrophe).

All this to say, my precious Bitzy has formed quite the vocabulary these days. The word “sponge” comes to mind. You say it and she’ll repeat it. It’s incredible!

So while I won’t become an English professor anytime soon, I may have a future in Toddler Translation.

You see, Bitzy’s words aren’t exactly clear.

So I am her self designated interpreter.  

Here are some examples:

“LADY, STOORY, BIRON, COW, MOO, PEAS, FANK YOU, WECOME, NICE, SHWEET.”

This is translated, “Today at the store, we bought a barn with a cow and bird. We gave it to the lady at checkout, she was nice and sweet. We said, please and thank you and she said, ‘You’re welcome.”

Another? “CHIDREN, TEENY, JEEZSES, SONG, PEAS.”

Translation: “Can we sing Jesus loves the little children please?”

More? This is fun, no? “MAMA, MILKY, COUCH, HELP, PEAS, TEENY, BOOK.”

Translation: “Can we sit on the couch with the baby, read a book and drink milk please?”

I know that I’ve said it before and I’m sure to say it again, but every single day is better than the last with these little people. It is shocking how much fun it is to be a mommy. I knew that I would love my babies, but I didn’t consider the absolute JOY they would bring.

These days my friends, just get sweeter and sweeter.

Or SHWEETER and SHWEETER as my Bitzy would say.

Introducing…

Tatum Bennett Nelson

9 pounds 9 ounces 21.5 inches long

Born May 26, 2011 at 2:29pm

Love at first sight.

I have heard many photographers say that they experience life through a camera lens. It’s a cool thought I suppose, but clearly, I am no photographer… (even though the camera is attached to me at all times). Ya see, I am obsessed with soaking in every single moment of this beautiful life. I not only want to experience it, but capture it…to freeze it in time.

As I look at these pictures my cup truly runs over. What  an amazing life God has blessed me with.  It fills me with an urgency to encourage your hearts to truly LIVE today. To soak it up, to breathe in the people around you and to ENJOY life.

I admit, life isn’t fair. Sometimes it seems there is much more bad news than good, and it feels like there aren’t too many beautiful moments to savor…but oh there are. Ya just gotta look…

Do you even remember being so filled with joy? Being completely free to run, dance and to be free? If not, Bitzy will teach you.

When was the last time that you played so hard that you had to change clothes 3 times in one day?  And finally you just said “forget it” and accepted the dirt on your pants as a badge…can’t remember? Bitzy’s got some experience.

Do you recall ever being completely and utterly infatuated with mud? I mean, it is kinda cool if you think about it. It’s all slippery and slimy! No? Spend a mud filled afternoon with Bitzy and she’ll reacquaint you.

Have you held someone in your arms so tight lately that through your laughter and smiles you simply breathe them in and beg God to freeze that moment in time, because you know that in the blink of an eye the moment will be gone, never to come again.  No? Do it. You will never regret savoring precious moments. If you need help, I’m your girl. My soul bursts will treasures that are buried deep in my heart.

There are moments to be celebrated sweet friends, even in the midst of heartache.

Find them, and celebrate.

****Winner is Julie******* Yay!!! Julie was picked using Random.org and appropriately enough she’s IN LABOR to meet her brand spanking new squishy son! Congrats Julie!  Thanks again Amazing Hats!!!!

I am not a hat person.

I admit it.

They don’t look cute on me, they look awkward and make me feel strange.

I admire women who can sport a good hat.

Let’s take (almost) Princess Kate.

She makes hat wearing (or make that feather wearing) look effortless and graceful.

While Kate is a beauty, she’s got nothing on Bitzy.

My girl can rock a hat.

See? Not only do you train your babies to wear hats but to clean house. Clearly.

All this can be yours friends!

Amazing Hats has offered to giveaway one free hat (up to a $15 dollar value) to a lucky winner!!!!

Are these the cutest or what???

To enter simply leave a comment after this post telling me why you simply MUST have a hat for your sweet bundle!  Then, for an extra entry, go to Amazing Hats Facebook Page and “Like” it.  Then leave a comment mentioning this giveaway!

Winner will be picked on Saturday at 9:00pm.

Good luck!

Love to all,

I am not a dancer.

I know, I know, you’re shocked.

The good Lord has graciously given me many gifts, however, coordination/grace were not on the docket of blessings for me.

However, my beautiful girl can break it down.

Isn’t she the cutest thing EVER?!

She slays me…watch.

I mean, seriously?

How did I ever get so lucky?

I remember being around 4 years old in daycare and visiting the local library.

We would all sit down and listen intently to the librarian read books about adventures, princesses and fiery mystical animals.

I loved the library.

Still do actually.

It was so big, so cavernous, and a bit mysterious.

I remember even at the age of four feeling so proud to be visiting such a sophisticated place.

I felt all fancy and stuff.

Now, I want my Bitzy to love the library as well.

Since we’ve moved to the burbs we’ve frequented the library at least once a week. She reads books, plays with puzzles and basically runs around like a crazy person. It’s awesome.

So the other day I had this brilliant idea to try “Toddler Time” at 10:00am on Wednesday morning. I mean, she is a toddler after all. Right? Surely it would be a smashing success right?

Um, wrong.

Let me also add that group activities at 16 months old seems silly to even me.

Granted, if we’re all going to be honest with ourselves, while my sweetheart has a fairly structured naptime/bedtime routine, nothing else in her day is structured. We’re all pretty free spirited around these parts.

So, we ventured into Toddler Time (shockingly, 5 minutes late) we were greeted with (no kidding) 25 tiny humans looking at us like we’re aliens.

That’s right, 25. That means there were also 25 mommy’s as well.

So in a tiny room, which had the heat on entirely too high might I add, there were 50 people glaring at us…or so it seemed.

We squeeze into the circle and the librarian begins reading a story.

She was a fine reader and I’m sure she has some kind of librarian-ish degree on her wall, but my girl wasn’t having it.

Sure at home when all is quiet and there are no other tiny humans to be mesmerized by she’ll read 20 books at a time…but in a room filled with exciting new and tiny faces sitting still simply wasn’t an option.

Take in mind that all the other children were quietly sitting on their mommy’s lap listening intently.

I could feel her begin to squirm and I knew that our time was short.

My baby looks up at me like, “Mama, this is lame. I’m so outta here.”

You see, we also attend a music class on Thursday mornings where the littles sit on mommy’s lap for a song or two and then it’s a total free-for-all.  She can run around, dance, play instruments and basically have the time of her life.

I think she felt that “Toddler Time” wasn’t that sort of environment…

So, halfway through book number two she ventures into the middle of the circle looking to entertain someone…but no one was biting.

They were all actually listening! Those bratty little know it alls!

So, what does my child do when she’s bored with no hope of a song or dance anywhere in the future?

She lays on her back in the middle of the floor and cries for a brief moment to get my attention (which let’s face it, she already had), then pops up on her knees, points to me and says, “Ma!” Then points to the door, as if to say, “Let’s bust this joint Mama! These babies are LAME!”

So, I did what all structured, disciplined, awesome mommy’s wouldn’t do…I got our stuff and hightailed it outta Toddler Time…’cause it was LAME.

I was in total agreement.

So, we sat at table and did puzzles, talked about ladybugs and read some books.

It was perfectly perfect in every way.

Who needs group activities anyway?

As I have confessed before, I am no scientist. In fact, I am not ashamed to say that I stopped listening during science lessons in about the first grade.

No really.

I do not understand science and I think that I’m kind of allergic to it. It makes me all itchy.

Now, I must do some back tracking. Bear with me.

Growing up, my parents stressed the importance of academics. Good grades were not just encouraged, but expected.

So, I made good grades. I’m not convinced that I was especially smart, but somehow I figured out a way to be in all honors classes and I made good grades without too much anxiety.

The interesting part here is that English and History both came fairly easily to me. I could memorize facts quickly and ace tests with little problem.

The real issue came with my math and science classes…because well, you actually have to understand concepts and such in order to do well. I stopped listening in science in 1st grade. I made it to 4th grade in math, but then I was a goner.

Looking back I realize that I totally fell through the cracks. Most kids “fall” into classes that are too easy for them, nope not me. I, by some miracle, was placed in honors math and science classes when I should have been assigned a tutor to help me through remedial classes.

But, again, I slipped right through those cracks.

How did I cope with this you ask?

Studying a lot? Nah, I had too many other activities to focus on. Clearly studying was a horrible option. It didn’t fit into my social calendar people! I was busy!

Mainly, I declared that all of my teachers were my “coaches.” Therefore, I called them all “Coach” all the time. Also, I combed my hair a lot. And finally, I did a lot of whining. These, my friends, are a winning combination in school. Take notes friends, this is good stuff.

So, to recap, the secrets of success in middle school/high school are…

1. Call all of your teachers “Coach.”

2. Comb your hair constantly.

3. And finally, whine a lot to stress that you “just don’t get it.”

These three things my friends will ensure that your learning will be at a minimum and your grades will soar.

That is, unless you have a very, very, very old and crotchety teacher that has seen your game before.

That said, my junior year of high school I took honors Chemistry. I was nervous as all get out for this class.

The year before I took an honors/AP Biology class and it didn’t go very well (as you could imagine with my 1st grade credentials and all), so I came to class armed with a winning smile, my hairbrush and the most charmingly pitiful whining face I could muster.

I had heard a few nasty remarks about this teacher (aka: my chemistry coach), but sometimes I had a way of charming even the most miserable of educators.

NOTE: In this case, I was not only amazingly uncharming, but somewhat annoying I’m sure.

The whole class began on the wrong foot as I was sat beside a boy who seemed to draw my already flirty high school self into high gear. I was doomed.

Good thing I had my hair brush to save me.

Too bad that after combing my long blonde hair for a good 45 minutes straight on  the first day of class, he asked me to put the brush away. WHAT?  Clearly he did not understand that the hairbrush was the key to my sucess. Not only did it provide hours of entertainment, but it helped me to put things into perspective. I didn’t need Chemistry…but I did need shiny hair. He was ruining my life!

After a full semester of my antics (and terrible grades) I pulled out my big guns and had the “I want to understand, but I just can’t” conversation in his office. This convo was my fall back. It was the way to ensure an “A” in all of my classes.

His response, “If you spent less time worrying about your hair and boys maybe you could focus and actually learn something.”

Ouch. How rude! He was plotting against me!

Needless to say, I had to actually study for the last few tests in order to make a lousy B- in this terrible class. My so-called charm was completely lost on this teacher. But don’t worry, I didn’t give up my system…How do you think I graduated college?

PS: Like my little stories? I would really appreciate it if you’d vote for me here and here.

My darling girl,

You are growing like a weed. It is unbelievable to me how fast you grow and learn. You are truly like a sponge, soaking in new words, actions and gestures constantly. I LOVE watching you grow and learn.

My love, I have a confession.  When you were just a glimmer in my eye, even before your daddy and me were married, I wondered if I would love motherhood as much as I hoped. It’s a scary thought to think that my life’s dream may not be as fabulous as I thought. So I asked a friend who had four children. Her response, “There is nothing in the whole world as wonderful as seeing your children grow and learn every day. Nothing.”

And ya know what? I couldn’t agree more.

As I’ve said before, with each passing day you before more independent and there are pieces of sadness that go with the joy of watching you grow…but overall, there is nothing more exciting than cheering you on as you conquer the world.

Also? Maybe it’s the first time mommy in me, but I’m pretty sure you’re the smartest baby ever, which brings your daddy and me no end of amazement. It’s true. You never cease to amaze us with your athleticism (aka: climbing/running/dancing), vocabulary (you can now say baby, belly button, banana, daddy, pop, mama, water, ice, milk, up, diaper, the list goes on and on), and your unending ability to listen and comprehend what we say. It’s truly incredible.

You’re sleeping so well at night and your naps are improving (slowly but surely). We’re so proud of you! For a baby who hates sleep, you sure do require a lot of it, which never ceases to keep me on my toes:).

Your favorite thing in the whole wide world is to nurse.  And I confess, I love it too. I’m a bit confused on how in the world we’re going to wean you before your baby brother comes in a few months, but hey, we’ll figure it out just like we do everything else:).

And your laugh? Oh, your laugh. I could record it and listen to it on repeat all day long. Thankfully, you laugh often and I never ever tire of your endless squeals. It’s by far and away my favorite sound on earth.

More than anything, I find myself begging God to freeze time so that I can soak you in. Each day seems so short with you. I can be with you all day and night everyday and it still wouldn’t satisfy my desire to memorize your every gesture. YOU my love, are that amazing…that wonderful.  Don’t you ever, ever forget it.

I love you more today than yesterday baby girl,

Mama

I make it no secret that I love television.

Clearly, I love my drama shows. Love them. They are all my personal friends and I refuse to believe that it’s all pretend.

(Yes, I am referring to Meredith and Derrick. Thanks for asking).

I also love a good comedy…although I must admit that it seems that the 30 minute family sitcom is few and far between. I have 3 comedy’s that I watch and 3 dramas that I watch every week.

(Hello Michael Scott).

While I love these shows, I’ve gotta be honest, Say Yes to the Dress on TLC is my most favorite show.

Too much? I think not.

Apparently I’m obsessed with wedding dresses.

Totally and completely obsessed.

Granted, I love, love, love all things weddings, so it’s not completely odd, but I’m normally more into the wedding details, rather than the obvious things…like the dress.

Thanks to this show, I simply must have a renewal ceremony of our vows every 10 years.

Do you think that would be overdoing it?

Nah.

After I drool over the beautiful wedding dresses I cry over A Baby Story.

When I say cry, I mean cry. Like big ugly crying that ends with black mascara running down my cheeks. It kills me every time.

My latest love? Actually, love is strong. It’s more like a train wreck that I am glued to and can’t look away. You guessed it, Toddlers and Tiaras. I’m torn between calling Child Protective Services and laughing hysterically at these completely ridiculous people. My favorite line so far you ask? That’s easy. “My goal in life is to have my daughter become Miss America.”

Really? Really? Really?

Is she being paid? There is no way that that is her life’s goal.

Also? Said child is 15 months old.

Now remember that My Bitzy is 14 months old. Just thinking about doing the things to my baby that this crazy mama is doing to her baby makes me cringe. For one thing, Bitzy would have none of it. Things like baby fake nails, blow drying and curling hair, and duct taping a dress to her tiny little body wouldn’t exactly fly with my girl. Bitzy has no tolerance for getting her clothes changed, much less any of the above activities.  Again, CPS anyone?

Also? She actually said, “I just don’t know how my girl will react if she doesn’t win. She loves to win.” I hate to break it to this insane mama, but if you’re kid is 15 months old I’m not quite convinced that she’ll be heartbroken if she doesn’t win the crown. Give the child some goldfish crackers and some milk and she’ll survive.

Then there’s My Strange Addiction.

Oh my.

“I’m addicted to wearing fur suits.”

“I’m addicted to pulling out my hair.”

“I’m addicted to eating couch cushions.”

“I’m addicted to eating toilet paper.”

“I’m addicted to eating laundry detergent.”

Need I say more?

Well, maybe that my strange addiction is watching crazy shows on TLC.

There, I said it.

TLC is awesome. Way awesome.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I love to read. Love it. Before my Bitzy was born I would devour books, one by one. My reading has certainly slowed down since the arrival of my girly, but I still love and crave the freshness of a brand new story told with a witty voice.

My favorite books are memoirs. Especially funny ones. There is nothing like reading about someone else’s life and laughing ’til you cry.

Kinda like last night.

Last night when Zach came up to bed I was laying there with tears streaming down my face, holding a pillow over my head, laughing so hysterically that I couldn’t breathe. No joke.

It was then that I knew that it was time.

After re-reading this book more times that I can count, I just had to share it with my sweet Zach.

So last night I introduced Zach to my favorite memoir of all time:  ”A Girl Named Zippy” by Haven Kimmel.

This book represents so much about how I love to read, write and laugh. Not to mention that our hometowns are painfully small, but still yet mysteriously charming. And our families are quirky, but still fantastic. That said, I consider Zippy and I soul sisters.

I declared to Zach last night  that before bed every night I would read him a chapter. I love this book so much I simply have to share it with him!

But then it occurred to me…I couldn’t just share it with him….I have to share it with all of you as well!

I realize it would be ultra creepy for me to hop into all of your beds at bedtime to read you a story, so instead, I want to give away a copy of my favorite book ever – to you- in honor of Thanksgiving!

I’m so thankful for you all it’s the least that I can do!

So, to enter please leave me a comment telling me what you’re favorite book is! Even if you don’t have one, still comment and hopefully you’ll win!

For extra entries you can tweet about this or post on facebook, just be sure to leave separate comments and let me know!

Winner will be chosen on Sunday, November 28th! Good luck!

Love to all,

PS: I am in no way associated with the author Haven Kimmel. She and I are not BFF’s- yet.  This giveaway is simply a gift from me to you.

PPS: Like my little stories? I would really appreciate it if you’d vote for me here and here.

You can vote once per day.

I admit it, I’m a glutton for punishment with all the silly tabloid magazines.

The silver lining?

I don’t actually buy them, I just read about all the crazy celebrity gossip online. Does that make it more acceptable?

I know what you’re thinking. “When do you have time to care about celebrity gossip?” Answer: There is always time, always. Mostly my ravaging happens after my dear ones are asleep (and I wonder why I’m tired all the time).

Anyway, let’s get down to business. We have much to discuss.

1. First and foremost, People Magazine teaches me about fashion…and about how out of touch I am. Apparently wearing Gap jeans and Merrell shoes every day of your life isn’t in style. To that, I say, “Pssh on you People Magazine. Style follows me, I don’t follow style.”

My gossip websites tell me that Leopard print is way in style these days. Let’s take a look…

Now I don’t know about you, but these gals look like street walkers to me. No? I’m just not sure that bringing back Leopard print is a good decision for anybody. Thoughts?

2. Justin Timberlake is a shady cheater. US Weekly told me so. While I’ve never been a fan of Jessica Biel, cheating isn’t the answer Justin. Plus, the girl you cheated with looks angry (much like the “cheated on” Jessica Biel. Interesting how that works isn’t?).

For your reading pleasure I did a bit of research on Olivia Munn (the cheater) and apparently her “cause” is saving elephants from the circus.

Now, I think we’ve well established that I’m not an animal lover so if you are, bear with me. I’m sorry Olivia, but you choose to give your time and money to save elephants from the circus? Really? Not saving babies, ridding world hunger, saving abused women, curing Alzheimer’s, or even cleaning up the environment.  You choose elephants? Interesting choice.

3. Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal. Isn’t that like dating your uncle? She’s like 13 and he’s 45. Totally gross. Actually, she’s 20 and he’s 29, but still. She’s way too young for him. I give ‘em 2 months (which means they’ll get married because I’m ALWAYS wrong about these things). I still think he and Reese Witherspoon belong together forever.

4. My favorite frenemy: Kate Gosselin. Without further ado, here is a recent picture…and a small reminder, pictures are worth a thousand words (or in this case a million words).

Need I say more? I think not.

5. In conclusion, I have a very serious question. Very serious indeed.

Has Reba had work? Just give it to me straight. I love, love, love me some Reba. Remember my Fancy story? Read it here. Reba and I have been friends for years and if she got work it’s gonna really hurt that she didn’t talk to me about it first.

So, what’s the verdit? Here’s a recent picture:

Here’s a picture a few years ago:

And then a few years before that…(by the way, I’ve been trying to recreate this hairstyle for myself and it’s just not working. Maybe I need more hairspray.

Be brutal. I need honesty here people.

I know that you all are simply dying to see pictures from my Bitzy’s 1st Birthday Party…never fear, today the wait is over.  Remember the theme was Candy Corn!!!!

On October 16th we celebrated party #1 in my home country of NC, and then we finished strong for party #2 here at home on her actual birthday. Both parties were way fun with lots of wonderful family and friends, as well as the first & second time that sugar had ever graced the lips of my beautiful girl.

It’s true. While I am a sugar addict and try to eat as many processed foods as humanly possible, I feel very strongly that my Bitzy only eat fresh and organic foods. Does that make me a nerdy mommy or what?  It’s OK, make fun. I figure she’ll have years and years on her own to eat total crap, but as long as I’m solely responsible for what goes in her mouth, she’s eating the really good stuff.

Anyway, at her 2 parties she did have cake and icing. Honestly, it wasn’t quite the affair that I assumed it would be. I mean, the child is genetically predisposed to love sugar, and she did eat it, but she wasn’t overly impressed.

All this to say, we had a blast. An absolutely wonderful and amazing celebration of life..and here are the pictures to prove it!

Party #1:

The loves of my life.

I mean, cutest candy corn evah or what?!

Please direct your attention to the cowgirl in the far right on the floor. Little Reba. I die.

She looks so mischievous in this picture.

Some of the decor.

Family picture before all the fun began!

And Now to Party #2!!!!

This is the banner that I paid $79,000 when I shoulda paid $.99…but alas, it’s cute right?

The spread!

Basking in the glow of her presents!

I am one blessed gal..look at my family!!! Thank you Jesus!

I can’t believe I have a toddler!!!!

Classic Bitzy pose in the party aftermath.

I hope you enjoyed the pictures! Now to begin thinking about next year…:)

Ya know when you were little and people would ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up?

I always said a check out girl at the grocery store.

That’s right.

Big dreams.

That was back in the day before scanners. The cashiers had to type in all the numbers of the items.

Oh the speed of their fingers.

It was pure magic watching their fingers run across the numbers. I wanted my fingers to be magical.

But then as I got older and went to college there was no degree program for being a cashier.

So, I settled and got a degree in PR and Advertising.

The great news is that I can still fulfill my dreams of being a cashier by playing with a calculator any time I want.

And, while my cashier dreams have been crushed, now I get to hang out with people, plan parties and serve Jesus all at once. Good deal, huh?

So, in perfect party planning style…something special is happening in only 6 weeks…my Bitzy’s 1st birthday party!!!

Take in mind that she was born on October 30th, only one day short of my least favorite “holiday.”

Maybe the fact that I hate Halloween has something to do with the fact that my childhood torturer, Meanie, told me every single year in elementary school that I would be sacrificed by devil worshippers. Turns out that I wasn’t sacrificed, but I did spend every Halloween shaking in my Strawberry Shortcake boots.

Needless to say, I’m still totally freaked out by Halloween.

However, having an October birthday offers many opportunities for fall fun and decorating.

So, this year our theme is CANDY CORN.

Mama’s candy addiction + Mama’s Bitzy addiction + Party planning for a living = Best.Birthday.Party ever.

I’m soooo excited.

Wanna know one of the most exciting parts?

Bitzy’s outfit.

That’s right, she’s gotta look ultra fab. Duh.

So, on my quest to find the cutest little outfit ever, I happened upon Whimsy and Whirl on Etsy. After looking at her fabulous creations, I messaged her to see if she could do a custom candy corn onesie.

Thankfully she said YES!!!!

It’s true. I didn’t name my kid “Bitzy.” Do you feel like you’ve been lied to? I’m so sorry. Forget this ever happened and let’s move forward, mkay?

So, picture this precious onesie with a big beautiful orange, white and yellow tutu.

I know, right?! Precious.

The amazing news?!  Whimsy and Whirl has offered to do a giveaway to you, my sweet readers!!! Yay!

Here are some pictures of her awesome stuff!!!

Seriously cute, right? Gratefully Whimsy and Whirl has generiously offered to giveaway a tutu (if it’s for a little girl) or a t-shirt with an inital/name – up to 6 letters- (if it’s for a little boy).  Depending on what the winner wants!!!

Want a chance to win?

To ENTER leave a comment telling me if you’d like to win a tutu or a t-shirt and why.  A winner will be chosen at random one week from tomorrow on September 29th!

Extra Entries For More Chances to Win!

• Go to the Whimsy and Whirl shop on Etsy and add the store to your favorites: Here. (1 comment)
• Like Whimsy and Whirl on Facebook: Here. (1 comment)
• Vote for Little Stories Everywhere here (click the green “click to vote” text) and here. (You can vote once per day on each site, meaning you could potentially have 16 extra comments!!!)
• Subscribe to Little Stories Everywhere at the top of page where it says “Follow me” and has a little fan looking thing. Click that button. (1 comment)
• Follow Little Stories Everywhere on Twitter: Here (1 comment)
• Like Little Stories Everywhere on Facebook: Here (1 comment)
• Blog About It. (3 comments)
• Tweet About This Giveaway DAILY using the following wording: Enter to #win Whimsy and Whirl from @littlestories courtesy of Whimsy and Whirl Etsy Store! #Giveaway ends September 29th at 11:59pm. (Leave your Twitter ID in the comment. 1 entry per day!)

Please make sure you leave a comment for each entry!
Remember this giveaway ends Tuesday, September 28th at 11:59pm EST. The winner will be chosen using random.org.

Love to all!

Like my little stories? Remember to comment and to vote here and here everyday so that other  people will love them too!

It is no secret that I love Diet Coke. (Need a reminder? Read it here and here).

I have gone to great lengths in my day to acquire the quench of my fizzy friend.

In college I spent 6 weeks in Europe and I missed the cold fizz of DC. Sure they had fizzy water, but that seems so odd to me. What’s wrong with regular water? Why mess it up with fizz?  Fizz should be reserved for yummy syrupy goodness of soda. No? One of these days I’m going to start some kind of foundation to uplift and protect fizz. I’m scared to death that the world will soon learn that it’s burning holes in stomachs everywhere and their going to take it away. Then what will I drink? Will I be forced to drink fizzy water? No thanks.

I digress.

The following story details true events that happened on Wednesday, September 15th at 9:30am.

I work in the office Monday-Wednesday and as my reward I normally go through the drive thru at McDonald’s on those days for a cold fizzy Diet Coke. I mean, don’t you reward yourself for going to work? No? Well you totally should. It always makes any day better.

So, I dropped off my Bitzy with her Lolly and ventured to those familiar golden arches.

There were several cars in front of me, but nothing too overwhelming. It wasn’t like I was there at 12:00pm when all the hungry vultures come and prey upon Ronald McDonald for their 1,000 calorie cheeseburgers.

I did wait for quite awhile to order, the line was moving very slowly. But, it was a beautiful day, I wasn’t upset at all. I was in my happy place.

So here I go, I finally ordered my Diet Coke and noticed their new oatmeal, (I love oatmeal, remember? Read here), and I could get oatmeal, a little baby milk and apples all in a Happy Meal. So, I ordered my Happy Meal with a toy for a girl under 3 and large Diet and a large ice water (gotta balance out the fizz, ya know).

And then I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Finally, I made it up to the window to get my food. As I looked into the window I did not see a single soul.

The minutes clicked by and I didn’t see or hear anyone. I mean, that’s weird, right?

Finally, I see two young Hispanic women scrambling around.  One of them hands me my drinks, including the milk.

Then, she disappears again for several more minutes.

By now, we’re inching past 15 minutes in the drive-thru, just for the record.

As I’m innocently checking my email on my phone and listening to the radio, the car behind me begins blowing her horn. I look in my rear view mirror and chuckle. I remember thinking, “People are so crazy sometimes.”

Ahem, little did I know how crazy people really are.

Then, I see this white haired, crazed woman barreling toward my SUV wagging her finger. She then, squeezed herself between my car window and the drive-thru all the while yelling, “Pull up. People are waiting, what did you order anyway?”  Then she proceeds to yell into the drive-thru window (to no one in particular), “Give me my 2 sweet teas. I’m gonna be late for work, this is taking forever.”

After I picked up my jaw from the floor board I frantically searched for Candid Camera or Punked to come over and save me. Surely this wasn’t really happening? Except it was.

It so was.

Then, crazyo turns to me and says, “I told you to pull up, I’ve gotta go to work.” Then she yells again at no one in particular, “Listen to me, give me my sweet teas.”

Miraculously, the 2 gals appear and look at me with a helpless look in their eyes. I’m fairly certain that their English was rusty at best, so they were looking at me for help. What in the heck was I gonna do? I mean, give me my freaking oatmeal and I’ll be on my way and, 0h yeah, while your at it, get crazyo’s sweet teas, she’s gotta go to work.

Here’s the part of the story where I temporarily lost my mind.

The poor girl attempts to hand me my Happy Meal box as Crazyo reached for it. I have no idea what she would have done with it. For all I know she would have handed it to me, but who’s to know since I yelled, “Don’t touch my food, don’t touch my food, I don’t want you touching my food!”

I mean, for one thing my food was in a cardboard red box. It’s not like her crazy germs would have transferred on my food. Secondly, who cares if she touched it?

But alas, I was passionate about my red cardboard box. I paid $2.99 for it after all.

I’m going to blame shock. The whole experience was a little odd. Can I get a crazy pass?

Thankfully, crazyo moved aside, and I got my food. As I drove away I heard her yelling, “Hurry up. Do you understand me? Give my sweet teas!”

As I opened up my hard fought Happy Meal I ended up with yucky, soggy oatmeal, no apples, 2 milks and a toy for  boy over 3. But hey, the bright side is that I didn’t die by crazyos hands. I could totally see her carrying a concealed weapon, for real.

Right?

Plus, I’m still holding on to hope that I’ll see myself on Punked one of these days.

This is picture of Tara and me from a wedding we were in together once in beautiful Vail, Colorado. So fun!!!

Your friend and mine, Random.org has picked a winner!!!  Congratulations to TARA GETTING!!! YAY!  I will email you details later this evening.  How fun!

Aren’t giveaways super exciting?!

We’ve got another one coming up later this week for boys and girls…Yay!!!

Love to all!

Did you guys file a missing blogger report in your town for me?  What about a reward poster?  Milk Cartons? Anything?

Thank you all for your precious concern.  I am a little worn out, but I’m great, Bitzy is more  beautiful than ever and Zach didn’t divorce me after last week.

Ya see, as I told you earlier I had a big event for my job (not the wiping tushes and dishes job at home, the one I get paid money for, not wet slobbery kisses), and it just about knocked me out. I have been exhausted (working around the clock will do that to you) and blogging just hasn’t been on my docket. For that, I’m sorry…BUT…

1. I’m grateful for a job.

2. I’m grateful for a job that I understand and can do well.

3. I’m grateful for a job that honors Jesus.

So, no complaints from this gal.

You all can take the signs down and call your local Po-Po and tell them to stop the search parties. Thank you all so much for your kind concern.

In other news, at my fancy event I had the opportunity to hang out with Governor Mike Huckabee and Dr. Al Mohler. Let me just say, regardless of your personal beliefs on politics and religion, you will never meet 2 nicer guys. I was absolutely floored by both of their kindness and generosity. It was a very humbling experience. So if you have time, check out their stuff, Here and Here.

In more random news, I wore a fab-u-lous dress at said fancy event, fixed my hair, wore bright pink lipstick AND wore 3 inch high heels. That’s right. These tootsies haven’t seen 3 inch heels since before I was pregnant with Bitzy. Let’s just say that while I did keep a smile on, I was thinking about taking the shoes and throwing them in a lake of fire. When I took them off my little piggies were blood red, aching and screaming, “Why Mommy, Why?” But no worries, I have my flip flops back on and all is right with the world.

In more important news, as I was preparing for this big beautiful event and praying for God’s blessing, I was trailing my Bitzy up the stairs and I whispered in her ear, “There is no place else that I’d rather be than here with you.” ‘Cause friends, there is no greater job than being her baby mama. None. She’s a little slice of heaven and I love being with her. It’s a good reminder for me on a night like last night, a little perspective ya know. I love throwing big parties that everyone loves, but I love being her mama more. And let’s face it, I love people telling me how great I am (who doesn’t?), but I love being her mama the most. And finally, I love working at place where Jesus is exalted and honored, but I love honoring Jesus in our home more. Like I said, a little perspective is good for the soul.

Remember my computer saga? If not, read here.

After several scares, a new hard drive and many a day watching the colorful wheel of death barrel toward me, finally, my computer looked me in the eye and said, “Enough.”

Take in mind, that on Monday, September 13th, I’ve got a huge event that I’m heading up and all of my (non-backed up) information rests in the hands of my trusty laptop.

When I saw the black screen, it went a little something like this…

Me in a screeching voice: “Zach, my computer won’t turn on, I think it’s dead.”

Zach: “Is it charged?”

Me in a harsh “how stupid do you think I am” voice meets my classic “whiny whiny pants” voice: “Of course it is! It’s dead and I’m ruined. I can’t believe this! What am I going to do?”

Zach: “Don’t panic. Let me see it.”

Me: “Nope. I know it’s broken.”

Zach: “Maybe it’s nothing, let me see it.”

Me in psychotic, mean, crazy, panicked voice: “It’s something all right. I’m going upstairs to your computer to figure out how to fix this myself.”

A little background.

The mere thought of me fixing anything on my computer is laughable. I’m not so much of a “fixer.” I’m more of a “breaker.”

Anyway, in my “I”m gonna fix this and you can’t help me” tantrum I stomped upstairs like a little 2 year old. I then called a whole bunch of people and told them to pray that my computer would breathe a few more breaths so that I could retrieve some very important information in regards to my upcoming event, and if timed allowed I could also back-up.

So I prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more.

But friends, I didn’t believe it would work.

Fast forward to this morning.

I get my Bitzy and myself dressed and we head out the door to one of our local MAC stores. I go up to the counter and plop my laptop down and say “Remember me? I was just here getting a new hard drive. My computer has a black screen and I’m going to have a heart attack if you don’t fix it right this minute.”

I know, I know, I’m a model customer. Don’t you just know that he was dying to help me, the crazed blond with a babbling baby on her hip? He practically threw himself toward me in a desperate attempt to help me.

Um, that’s a lie. It didn’t go down quite like that.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that I saw him roll his eyes as he took my laptop over to check it out.

So he connects the power cord and pushes the “on” button.

No joke. The computer came on.  Seriously.

He said, “Ma’am, you’re battery was just dead. You just need to charge it and it should run just fine.”

OK, I’m not computer genius by any means, but come on people, the computer charged all night and I only turned it off and on 1,000 times in my tirade the night before.

Remember I was fixing it? How better to fix it than to turn if off and on 4 bazillion times.

All that to say, today I witnessed an absolute miracle of Jesus.

What does one do when they witness a miracle?

They scream, holler, get misty eyed and tell the whole wide world.

So that’s what I did.

Please picture me holding Bitzy, with my other hand up in the air yelling, “Thank you Jesus, it’s a miracle. You’re all witnessing a miracle. Jesus is so faithful. Hallelujah, my computer is healed. Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.”

I then take Bitzy hands and start dancing around saying, “Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.”

Needless to say, not everyone shared in my joy as I expected. Instead they just stared.

Meanies. Nobody gets me.

Anyway, as I was basking in the glow of the miracle I had witnessed, I headed to the office and promptly backed up my sick little sweet sliver of silvery goodness.

Lesson #1. Prayer is powerful.

Lesson #2. Computers of fickle.

I worked like a dog for a few hours hanging on to hope that my laptop just had a hiccup and that the Lord spared my little friend. But alas, not so much. In the middle of working on at least a zillion tasks to prepare of the event next week the black screen reoccurred.

I hate black.

Always have.

The good news?

I had backed up everything successfully.

The bad news? Now it had to be reinstalled on another laptop.

During this debacle, I was lamenting the fact that my sweet computer is facing such adversity. I was was whiny and crying and said, “I’ve been doing so much better. I’ve been letting my laptop sleep, charging it all the time, not overloading it with applications. I’m a new woman. Give me another chance computer. I promise I won’t fail you.”

Then, my ever compassionate colleague says, “It’s like when a spouse cheats. They may forgive you, but you better believe they’re going to want to know everywhere you’ve been and where you’re going and they will not soon forget your mistakes. Your computer remembers your sins Molly. It remembers.”

Right through the heart.

It’s true. I’m a bad computer mommy.

As I sit and type on a computer that isn’t mine, that doesn’t bare the scars of my longtime silver fruity friend, I feel lost.

So, laptop if you’re listening, I love you. I miss you. Please get better. Mommy is so sad without you. Please come home to me. Just come home and we’ll work it all out…I promise.

Love you baby,

Mommy

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When I was a little girl I was obsessed (shocking, I know) with dolls.

Barbies in particular.

I would play and play with my dolls.

We had a pretty fantastic fantasy world where they were my children and I was their mommy. They were very well behaved if I do say so myself. At 3 years old I was practically doll mommy of the year.

So now that I have my very own living doll, it truly is fulfilling a lifelong dream.

What is one to do when their dream comes true?

Love, cuddle…and play dress up every.single.day!

Since my Bitzy was born each day has been a practice of Project Runway Baby Edition. Only, I’m not a fashion designer, a seamstress (unfortunately), or a wounded and tortured artist. So actually, it’s not like Project Runway at all.

Details, details.

The point is that I LOVE dressing my sweetheart in cutesy clothes.

In other related news, I am officially and undoubtedly addicted to Etsy. What is Etsy you ask? It’s only the most fantastically fantastic way to support small businesses/artists and to get cool, creative stuff that very few other people have. I mean, Gap is great and all, but it’s nice to go to the park wearing some Etsy gear and not match every other kid, ya know? (am I snooty or what???).

That said, when I was gearing up for Bitzy’s 6 month pictures I scoured Etsy for the cutest and best priced hats. Then, I happened upon Sparkleberry Crafts.  Not only was the selection incredible, but the customer service was supreme (just another reason to shop Etsy, you talk to real people rather than an automated system).

It was then that I began chatting with Janet, the creative genious responsible for Sparkleberry Crafts. I explained what I wanted and she graciously created the hat below.

I mean, seriously? Cutest baby + Cutest hat= Precious!!!!

The great news? Sweet Janet has so generously agreed to do a Giveaway for an amazing custom made hat for your little bitty!!!  Yay!

Here are some samples below:

I mean A-mazing, right?!!!

Want a chance to win?

To ENTER leave a comment telling me which hat you would like to win from the pictures above. Sizes are 6-12 or 12-24 months. A winner will be chosen at random one week from tomorrow on September 14th!

Extra Entries For More Chances to Win!

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• Tweet About This Giveaway DAILY using the following wording: Enter to #win Sparkleberry Crafts Hat from @littlestories courtesy of Sparkleberry Crafts Etsy Store! #Giveaway ends September 14th at 11:59pm. (Leave your Twitter ID in the comment. 1 entry per day!)

Please make sure you leave a comment for each entry!
Remember this giveaway ends Tuesday, September 14th at 11:59pm EST. The winner will be chosen using random.org.

Love to all!

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