Have you ever read something that really struck a cord with you, whether good or bad, and weeks later it would randomly pop into your mind and force you to reconsider it once again?

This has happened to me many times, but this time, I feel like what is brewing in my heart must pour out. Like the words are bubbling up whether I want them to or not.

Because friends, what is brewing isn’t very popular. In fact, it’s convicting my heart to the core and I hope/fear that it will do the same to yours.

But ya know what? I started this blog to tell my little stories so that’s what I’m gonna do.

You see a few weeks ago, I read this blog by a stranger whom I will probably never meet. It made the rounds on Facebook and Twitter with mommies everywhere cheering and shouting “Hooray!”

It was a chant for mommies everywhere to join in, to admit that each day isn’t filled with sunshine, love and happiness. To admit that maybe, just maybe, motherhood is tough.

She mentions being in a store and older women encouraging her to “enjoy every minute because it goes by too fast.” (Which has happened to me many times as well). She admits the panic in living that way, suggesting that having a Carpe Diem approach to life is too frantic and too exhausting to execute everyday.

She reasons that parenthood is like climbing Mt. Everest, that you don’t truly appreciate the journey until you reach the summit. Only then can you look back and see all that you’ve accomplished.

And ya what? I get it. I really do.

I get why the Huffington Post picked it up and thousands of people read it and elbowed each other with a twinkle in their eye.

And to be honest, the reaction from so many people to the blog really bothers me more than the writing itself.

It seems everyone wants to feel justified in their frustrations with having children who are wild and crazy and don’t listen and who God forbid, act like children.

I know that I do. There are nights that I recount all the ways to Zach that Bitzy challenged me and how Brother refused to nap and how I am just so tired. I just want someone, anyone to feel sorry for me and my tiredness. But then, there are nights where I am practically dancing around the house with joy that I get to live this life and I am devastated that my babies had to go to sleep because I’ll miss them so.

It’s like the valley verses the summit. Every day can’t be the valley and every day can’t be the summit. I totally get that.

But this blog was almost a permission slip to settle for “good enough” and I have a real problem with that.

My intense reaction to this kind of thinking also stems from seeing mommies out with their littles at the indoor playgrounds and parks. I am continuously baffled at how parents ignore their children in public. The first time I experienced this was when Bitzy was around 12 months old. She was newly toddling along and we went to a local park where there are two playgrounds. One is for small children (1 and 2 year olds) and one is for older kids. As Bitzy was walking on the tiny bridge of the jungle gym I followed her and helped her up the steps, down the slide, etc. I mean, the child was barely a year old for goodness sake, she couldn’t do it by herself. As I was helping her up the steps there was a little boy. He was around 18 months. Bigger than Bitzy, but still a tiny guy. He bravely climbed up the steps and flashed me a smile. I innocently said, “Good job buddy!” as I helped Bitzy go across the bridge. As I scanned the area for his caregiver I didn’t see anyone, but that didn’t concern me too much because I was certain they were watching. After 15 minutes of playing and helping him maneuver the playground, his mommy finally appeared with her phone in hand texting. He ran up to her and hugged her and she non-chanlantly patted his back and then resumed texting. She didn’t even look at him, or me for that matter. I hadn’t seen her the entire time we were there, she just appeared out of thin air.

This was my first interaction with mommies who act like their children are a burden.

And truth be told, this situation is rare. Mostly, it’s much more subtle. Like a mommy looking at Facebook instead of playing with her kid at the playground. Or who barely looks up when her child yells, “Mommy watch this!” Or in this case, a mommy who settles in the knowledge that when the summit comes someday far away from today, then she will enjoy. Then, she will relish in her children, rather than enjoying the climb- today.

I always wonder how I would behave, parent, love, speak and spend my time if this were my last day on earth, because well, it could be. You just never know, ya know?

I don’t want to settle friends. I want the BEST. The very, very, very best. I want to lay down on my pillow every night knowing that I loved hard and spoke encouragement into the hearts of those around me. And on days I fail, I want to regret it and ask forgiveness rather than sighing and saying, “Oh well, it was good enough.”

I’m better than that, and so are you.

I don’t just want a few fleeting moments of amazingness throughout the day, I want a full day of amazingness. I want to cultivate a home where there is so much love and fun and encouragement and JOY that is springs forth in our speech and our dances and our hearts.

And when older women stop me and tell me to enjoy my babies I want to sincerely say, “I do and I will, every single minute of the day, even on the hard days.”

Because I’ll say it again, “How you spend your days is how you spend your life.” I don’t want to spend MY life complaining about the hardness, I want to relish the miracle of this life, even if I have to say it with gritted teeth as a manta over and over again to convince myself that it’s true on the hard days. I want to appreciate the opportunity to love without limits and to enjoy the moments.

But the reality is that this kind of intentional living with joy is tough stuff. It’s much easier to lazily skate throughout the day begging for bedtime. I know that, I’ve been there.

That’s why I’m so challenged/convicted/invigorated by this thought that although life/parenthood/friendship/whatever is a climb to the summit of a mountain, the climb is where we learn to take one step at a time and enjoy ourselves. We have to consciously take one step at a time and choose joy. It’s not easy, never is, but our attitudes determine the joy of the climb.

I want to love my time up the mountain, don’t you?

If you have been following my little blog for awhile you know that every so often I get all sudsy and clean on my own personal soap box. It’s not often that I get my feathers ruffled, but for the past week or two, everyday there have been little comments, facebook posts, or conversations with people that have culminated in me becoming very frustrated.

Ya see, I’m gonna need to complain a little.

About what, you ask?

Well that would be about People Complaining.

Ah, complaining.

We call it many things, “getting something off our chest,” or ” being authentic”, or as we said in 1993, “Getting Real.”

To me, it’s called, COMPLAINING.

Now don’t get me wrong. I know that life is hard. Really hard. Disturbingly hard sometimes.

I know that each day isn’t easy and filled with bubbles and big bowls of Milk Duds (what I would do for a Milk Dud right now). I know that. And I know that sometimes offhanded comments are made about physical aches and pains or how the baby was up all night and you’re tired or about how the house is a wreck or about how your husband forgot your anniversary or how your baby boy refuses to take a nap and screams endlessly (oh wait, that would be MY child).

I get it.

I really do.

What I don’t get?

The constant, negative, need to complain.

I know that we all want to be heard…to be acknowledged. But is complaining really the best way?

I don’t know if I’m just attracted in some weird way to stories of heartache and tragedy, but I feel like I’m constantly hearing stories that sting my eyes with tears.  A story about parents losing their three precious children in a car accident. One about a baby boy being born with a congenial heart defect that lived only 5 short years before going home to the Lord. A story about a 5 month old baby inside his mommies tummy who died as his mommies kidneys and heart began failing due to the stress the pregnancy had on her body. And my least favorite (and the one that produced the most tears) a story about an innocent couple that were carjacked, kidnapped and subsequently tortured and murdered. No reason, nope none at all. Just the wrong place at the wrong time.

All this said, it makes my napping woes seem a bit less serious, no?

It’s this little thing I like to call perspective.

So many people say, “it can’t get worse” about simple things like disciplining their toddler or their car breaking down. And then, I hear stories, these horrible stories, and remember that oh yes, yes, it can.

In an instant, a heartbeat, everything, and I mean everything, could get worse. Like, way worse.

So friends, today, I encourage you to bite your tongue when you begin to complain. Remember that somewhere in this great big beautiful world someones daddy is dying, a child is starving, a terminal diagnosis has been made, someone’s heart is breaking and that in an instant your problems could become much, much worse.

So today, try to enjoy your life. Regardless of the hand you’ve been dealt. No matter how bad you think you’ve got it, remember, it could always be worse.

And if you’re feeling really, really up for a challenge stop focusing on all the awful stuff, and remember how amazingly blessed you are. Because, you are ya know, you really are.

What will you do today to celebrate how blessed you are?  Let’s chat about it!  Do tell!

All my life I have listened to people say, “Just Wait.”

In Kindergarten it was, “Just wait ’til 1st grade, you learn subtraction and it’s really hard.”

Same goes for 8th grade, “Just wait ’til high school, balancing sports and studies is tough!”

Then it was the “just wait’s” for certain classes in high school and then college.

My personal favorite, “Just wait ’til after college graduation when you’re in the real world.”

I always hated when people said that. Like college isn’t the “real world.” College is freaking hard. I remember thinking that at least when I got into the “real world” I wouldn’t have to go to class all day and study all night.

“The real world” sounded dreamy.

Anyway, after college it was “just wait ’til your married.” Some people were saying this as a positive thing, like, “Just wait ’til your married, it’s amazing,” but more often than not it was, “Just wait ’til your married, then you’ll never be able to do anything again, so go travel and live it up!”

Then, it was “just wait ’til you have kids.” Again, sometimes it was positive and then sometimes negative.

It seems like my whole life people have told me to “Just Wait.”

I regret to inform those peeps that rather than just waiting around I have actually LIVED my life with a positive attitude rather than waiting on something harder, better, MORE.

What’s wrong with just being in the moment?

Granted, if you want a 5 year plan, I’m not your girl. But if you want to have a spontaneous dance party in your living room, you know exactly who to call.

Realizing these things makes me wonder how to instill a spirit of contentment in the now in my little ones. To realize that the future is uncertain, but we have today, so let’s enjoy it.

As I prayed for our family last night I didn’t ask God to make my babies smart, successful or wealthy, I asked Him to make them joyful, positive and to delight in Him. That’s all.

Somewhere along the way our society has stopped looking at today as a gift and has become obsessed with stressing about tomorrow.

So will you join me in delighting in today? Enjoying those around us and being grateful?

Don’t wait.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34

Apparently Negative Nancy has come into my house and taken over my body.

I’m feeling like quite the skeptic this evening. I admit that my normally, Positive Polly counterpart is offended that Nancy has embodied me, but has allowed just this one night for me to vent all of my frustrations with the world.

So, in the name of Negative Nancy’s everywhere I’m gonna let ‘er rip.

1. I’m annoyed at TV. So many shows are terrible and disturbing. Let’s take Sister Wives for example. Hmmm…the “old” wives are mad at their “husband” because he’s taking his brand spankin’ new wife on an 11 day honeymoon. They feel “left out.” Now, I’m no expert on Mormonism, but come on people. Of course you feel left out, your husband is sleeping with another woman for goodness sake. Get a grip.

2. Back to TV. Zach went to the store tonight to get me some paper towels because, apparently my life doesn’t work without them. It’s like I can’t function in the kitchen without paper towels. Anyway, I had a few minutes with my own DVR queue madness and I happened upon, wait for it, Pregnant and Addicted. Apparently this lady was a heroin addict who is now “just” addicted to Methadone (which apparently is better for you than heroin- so that’s a victory).  I realize that addictions are real so I wasn’t too far down the judgmental path until she said that both her live-in boyfriend and her are BOTH addicts on unemployment with no plans of finding a job, because apparently it’s a lot of work to stay medicated day in and day out. Makes.Me.Crazy.

3. Daisy is truly driving me insane. Honestly I think that my visit from Negative Nancy is 89% Daisy’s fault. The good news? Since it’s FRIGID outside I started giving her “room time” in her crate in the basement. This gives me a break. I mean, Bitzy has to take naps in her crib, why shouldn’t the puppies have to as well?

4. As I have previously said before, I hate maternity clothes. Like, really hate them. I would rather wear one of Zach’s huge sweatshirts for the next five months than wear some of the awful clothes. It’s such a downer every morning putting on terrible clothes.

5. Lastly, this week my sweet Bitzy and Zach have been deathly sick with me having just a tiny touch of it. I was busy tending to them and now that they’re feeling better? I’m sicker than a dog. Funny how that works isn’t?

Okay, I’m already annoying myself by being Negative Nancy. Life is too fun to complain!!!

I mean, look at this picture…how could I be negative for more than 25 seconds when I’ve got these beauties in my arms?

Now that I’m feeling better after my vent, TODAY is THE day that we find out what kind of little bun we’re having. To say that I’m exciting doesn’t quite cover it. In fact, me, the non-dancer just did a little jig and Zach said, “Look at you, you have a little bit of swing after all when you’re excited.” Babies make me do crazy things I guess…like dance!

Have a Positive Polly kinda day:).

My girly and me all windblown and happy.

I am not a geneticist. I know, I know, you thought that my degree from Grey’s Anatomy would cover the X’s and Y’s of things, but alas, it did not.

While I’m not a professional, I am an active observer of human behavior, doesn’t that make me some kind of expert? Maybe?

Anyway, expert or not, I have noticed over the years that people can be characterized in one of two categories…

Positive or Negative.

Out of these 2 categories come lots of other personality traits.

For example, if someone is positive, chances are that they are nice and possibly, “idealistic”.   If negative, then more cynical and possibly more “realistic.” Not always, but usually.

I have also noticed that many people may be naturally positive but due to the circumstances of life they are living negatively and vice versa.  I have also seen the most negative of people have total joy in Christ, so it’s not that one is better than the other…just different.

Living in a positive or negative state of mind can and will affect all areas of a persons life. Granted, this isn’t a rule, it’s a generalization just for the sake of this little story, so bear with me.

All this to say, there is not much in the world that gets me upset. I have a few hot button issues that drives me bananas (like abortion and bad customer service, just to name a few), but overall, I’m a very positive person, pretty laid back, unless I’m totally not laid back and completely nuts.

I’m about 50% chill and 50% crazy.

(In case you’re wondering, I married a saint).

So lately, I have noticed that people are more negative than ever before. And I just don’t get it. I’ve heard a lot of people say they want to be “authentic” or “real.”  I have found that these terms often translate into people being rude and generally unpleasant.

I notice it as I overhear people in the grocery store, when I’m having conservations with friends and when I read different websites and blogs.

In the effort of full disclosure let me add that as of late I have become a bit of a “blogaholic” visiting several different blogs daily and ready up on the happenings of all sorts of different people.  On my blog reading adventures I have happened upon several blogs that talked about motherhood being harder than they thought, or even not what’s it’s cracked up to be, or how it’s the most tiring job in the world. Blah, blah, blah.

Let me clarify.

I get it.  I get that it’s a huge responsibility.  I get that it’s not always fun. I get that it can be boring reading the same book 79 times a day. That having your life be dictated by a nap schedule puts a damper on your Mojo. That there is nothing fun about cleaning up puke and poop almost every day.  I get that you never sleep and your clothes don’t fit and you feel crazy half the time.

I totally get it.

But, ya know what?  The responsibility doesn’t hold a candle to the JOY of having half of you and half of your soul mate wiggling around on the floor. It’s a priceless gift and it shouldn’t be taken for granted.

I think about the throngs of people that would give anything to have their very own offspring.

I think about the tears that have been cried of those who hold a pregnancy test every single month to only see one line.

I think about the parents of SIDS victims that would give anything to wake up 5 times a night by a colicky baby.

I think about the parents that are waiting for their adoptive child, their arms aching for the baby that has been picked just for them.

And then I think about my very own Bitzy and how my heart grows bigger every single day because of her infectious giggle and sweet smile. No matter how many sleepless nights I have with her, there is absolutely nothing that can compare to holding a tiny piece of yumminess in my arms each day.  Heaven forbid that I take the gift of motherhood for granted for one.single.minute.

So, if you’re in the throws of motherhood and feeling discouraged or waiting to experience the soul altering earthquake of the glory of a baby to call you “Mommy or Daddy,” or simply trying to figure out if you’re cut out to be a parent, or if you’re just feeling negative…

Take heart.

Be grateful.

Have hope.

And for heaven sake BE POSITIVE.