I love scary movies.

Always have.

When I was little, maybe around 8 or 9 I was watching hugely inappropriate scary movies in terror, unable to tear myself away. After the typical scary movies of the Freddie Cruger variety I happened upon Alfred Hichcock.

Oh Alfred, what a genius you were.

I find my love for Mr. Hitchcock quite strange as I cannot watch a black and white film now for more than 5 minutes. How did I have the attention span back then to watch hours of his films?

Strange indeed.

Anyway, my affair with Vampires started innocently enough with Bella and Edward (note I did not mention Jacob.Yuck!). I tore through each Twilight book with reckless abandon and have watched every movie and loved every second. Read more about my Twilight love here.

But then, ever innocently, my friend Megan who shares very similar TV taste as me, (kind of like my TV soul mate), encouraged me to begin The Vampires Diaries. I mean, 3 full, commercial-less seasons on Netflix? It’s a TV addicts dream come true. She described it as “One Tree Hill with Vampires.”

As an original One Tree Hill fanatic, that was enough to convince me.

So, now?

I’m addicted. Like at nap time I’m practically running around like a maniac to finish my “chores” so I can watch this show. It’s ridiculous really.

I am so on Stefans team. Damon? What a meanie. Edward and Stefan forever!

I’m mid-way through Season 2 and it just keeps getting better and better!

So here is my plea. If you are not watching The Vampire Diaries, you simply must start. It’s fantantic.

Allow me to be your TV soulmate. Trust me peeps.

Are you already watching? If so, are you on team Stefan or Damon?

And GO!

I make it no secret that I love television.

Clearly, I love my drama shows. Love them. They are all my personal friends and I refuse to believe that it’s all pretend.

(Yes, I am referring to Meredith and Derrick. Thanks for asking).

I also love a good comedy…although I must admit that it seems that the 30 minute family sitcom is few and far between. I have 3 comedy’s that I watch and 3 dramas that I watch every week.

(Hello Michael Scott).

While I love these shows, I’ve gotta be honest, Say Yes to the Dress on TLC is my most favorite show.

Too much? I think not.

Apparently I’m obsessed with wedding dresses.

Totally and completely obsessed.

Granted, I love, love, love all things weddings, so it’s not completely odd, but I’m normally more into the wedding details, rather than the obvious things…like the dress.

Thanks to this show, I simply must have a renewal ceremony of our vows every 10 years.

Do you think that would be overdoing it?

Nah.

After I drool over the beautiful wedding dresses I cry over A Baby Story.

When I say cry, I mean cry. Like big ugly crying that ends with black mascara running down my cheeks. It kills me every time.

My latest love? Actually, love is strong. It’s more like a train wreck that I am glued to and can’t look away. You guessed it, Toddlers and Tiaras. I’m torn between calling Child Protective Services and laughing hysterically at these completely ridiculous people. My favorite line so far you ask? That’s easy. “My goal in life is to have my daughter become Miss America.”

Really? Really? Really?

Is she being paid? There is no way that that is her life’s goal.

Also? Said child is 15 months old.

Now remember that My Bitzy is 14 months old. Just thinking about doing the things to my baby that this crazy mama is doing to her baby makes me cringe. For one thing, Bitzy would have none of it. Things like baby fake nails, blow drying and curling hair, and duct taping a dress to her tiny little body wouldn’t exactly fly with my girl. Bitzy has no tolerance for getting her clothes changed, much less any of the above activities.  Again, CPS anyone?

Also? She actually said, “I just don’t know how my girl will react if she doesn’t win. She loves to win.” I hate to break it to this insane mama, but if you’re kid is 15 months old I’m not quite convinced that she’ll be heartbroken if she doesn’t win the crown. Give the child some goldfish crackers and some milk and she’ll survive.

Then there’s My Strange Addiction.

Oh my.

“I’m addicted to wearing fur suits.”

“I’m addicted to pulling out my hair.”

“I’m addicted to eating couch cushions.”

“I’m addicted to eating toilet paper.”

“I’m addicted to eating laundry detergent.”

Need I say more?

Well, maybe that my strange addiction is watching crazy shows on TLC.

There, I said it.

TLC is awesome. Way awesome.

I’m a former addict of The View on ABC.

I admit it.

But here’s the rub, it made me nuts.

Like, really nuts.

I would get fiery hot with anger every single day while watching.

Truth be told, it’s Joy who mainly drives me bananas with a little help from Whoopie.

But then, my BFF Elisabeth would pipe in and I’d remember why I watched.  Plus, Sherry is pretty great too (sometimes).

As all good things come to an end, so did my View watching.

It was too stressful, my blood pressure couldn’t handle it.

Then, last week on Facebook someone posted a clip from the View. I innocently clicked on it to see Bill O’Reilly (who, for the record, I’m not really into) have a knock down drag out with Joy and Whoopie.

Ridiculous, I tell you.

Watch it here.

I mean, come on people.  Let’s get it together. Can two disagreeing sides not have a freaking conversation without storming off?

Shameful.

In other news, how is Elisabeth so skinny after 3 kids? Seriously.

All I can think about today is The Wonder Years.

Is that weird?

I got some bummer news today from one of my sweet friends and my heart is broken for them, so what do I do rather than get depressed?  I revert to my childhood and think about things that have absolutely no meaning whatsoever.

Hey, it beats depression.

That’s probably not healthy is it?

Anyway, back to thinking about nothing…remember the love story of Kevin and Winnie?  It was just so…romantic.  In a strange middle school kind of way that is.

But then again, I was in middle school when I watched it (or was it Elementary?).  If I were to watch it now it may not have the same zest as it did then.

I had a major crush and Kevin and honestly, a major girl crush on Winnie.

Who didn’t?

Kevin’s goofy smile and Winnie’s perfect little figure.

“What would you do if I sang out of tune…would you stand up and walk out of me…” All together now…(got in your head! Ha!).

Ah, the nights of eating ice cream while watching hours of TV are WAY over…but boy did I enjoy them while they lasted.

Anyone else lovin’ some old school TV?  Every now and then it just hits me and I’m a kid again, watching TV and lovin’ every minute.

So anyway, to my dear friend, we’ll get through all the yucky stuff. Promise. Hang in there. The pain lessens everyday and God is near and will teach you more than you can imagine through the heartache. He’s tricky like that.  And as we learn from the Wonder Years, “I get by with a little help from my friends, I get high with a little help from my friends.”

Hmmm…well, actually we won’t get high, but we will get by. Love you.

Love to all…

Before we get started on all of my random ramblings and such, click over to The Queen of Quirky’s blog where I’m guest posting today!  Enjoy!

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Bitzy's Besties.

Daisy and me are still on the outs. She.Drives.Me.Bananas. She likes to plant herself directly in front of my every step so that I trip over her constantly. If it weren’t for my precious child being obsessed with her then I would totally give her the silent treatment. This would be the worst form of punishment for her you see, she thrives on constant attention (both positive and negative, unfortunately).

I love Ebay. I’m much more into buying than selling these days (shocker) but it’s still fun to sell occasionally. It’s like a having a yard sale without the orange circle stickers. Plus, I would much rather sell a pair of jeans for $20 rather than $.25. Does that make me greedy? Not to mention that I’m fresh out of shaky metal card tables to put all of my knickknacks on. And…I don’t really have knickknacks. I’m a very bad candidate for having a yard sale. I’ll stick with Ebay.

My New Roommate.

I cannot be bothered with real time TV these days, which works out since we don’t have cable.  We do, however, have Netflix. Love.It. I’m 100% addicted to Prison Break. Michael Schofield and me are in it to win it. We will escape “The Company” together.  In fact, I’m watching it now. He says “hi.”

The past few weeks during The Sleep Wars, I have barely slept a wink. As a result of my lack of sleep, I had a rousing illness that resembled food poisoning on Sunday and Monday and today I came down with another ihateyourgutsmeanolebladder UTI. So annoying. Sleep related? Grey’s tell me no, but I’m still left wondering. Never sleeping can do weird things to your body, right?

I confess, that I could have a slight obsession with watching my sweetheart on the video monitor. Who needs sleep when I can stare at my offspring all night long? It’s a real problem friends. I need an intervention.

I’m thinking about quitting Diet Coke. This isn’t my first rodeo with banning the crack.  But when I think of quitting I get all sweaty and my heart starts pounding.  I just don’t know if I can.  Scary stuff I tell ya. Anyone else want to join forces to quit? I’m an addict and I need a 12 step program or at least a partner in crime to help me quit.

He said, "I love you."

Maybe after we conquer Diet Coke we could figure out how to break out of prison together since I’m becoming an expert and all.

Bitzy has a book called, “But Not The Hippopotamuss” and I have basically turned it into a rap song, because well, apparently I’m a rapper.  So we rap together Bitzy and me. Maybe someday we’ll start a little family rap group. Or, maybe I could rap for Milk Duds in prison before I break out.

Speaking of, after I wrote my last Confessions Blog I ate an entire box (14 WW points thankyouverymuch) of Milk Duds. Writing about my delicious counterpart sugar, elicits some kind of innate need to eat them as soon as possible. In fact, apparently it’s happening again. Must.Stop.Writing.

As you may know, I am a font Nazi.  I am the leader of the campaign against terrible fonts such as, Curlz, Papyrus, and Comic Sans and many many more. In the effort of full disclosure, I totally judge people based on their choice of fonts. It says so much about a person.  Am I weirdy or what?

I miss you.

I just did 60 push-ups (girl style of course) in a row while watching Prison Break. I need to bulk up just in case I get thrown into prison and need to break out. It takes a lot of muscle to be a fugitive. Maybe this show will make my arms look awesome.  Hmmm…just another reason to continue to obsess about it.  By the way, Micheal says, “I miss you.”

Could I be obsessed with Prison Break? Never.

If you’ve never watched Prison Break, please watch it. Rent it, buy it, watch on Netflix, whatever. Just watch it. Then, we can discuss it together as a family.  If you can’t tell, I’m a little bit obsessed.

After my darling sweetheart baby Bitzy slept for 9.5 hours straight the other night (read about it here) she screamed for nearly 3 hours off and on last night. Very frustrating my friends.  We’re on night 6, or is it 7? Since I haven’t slept in a week all the days are running together in unison. How long is this sleep training stuff supposed to take. Mama is TIRED.

But not tired enough to stop watching Prison Break.

Love to all,

Weirdy McWeirdikins

I remember the first time I watched ER.

I hung on every word of this season of ER.

That was when TV Dramaville came in and jerked my heart out and left me with a need that can only be filled with tear filled goodbyes, death on the operating table and soul retching break-ups.

Now, I’m like an addict, always searching for my next fix.  Who needs heroin when there’s TV?

I’m always looking for where my next fix will come from.  Will Greys train me on how to successfully perform the Whipple (I hope so, because they talk a lot about this mysterious Whipple and I have no clue what it is)?  Or will One Tree Hill (one of my most favorites) continue to make me weep over characters who are supposedly not real (I know that they are.  They all live in Wilmington as one happy family).  Or, will LOST continue to make me, a normally non-violent person, want to throw bricks at the TV for toying with my emotions?

I never know where the fix will come from, but I trust that it’s coming.

It always comes.

A great new show!

Over the years Greys Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, Dexter, Private Practice, Heroes, ER, Law & Order or CSI- the list goes on and on, have provided me with countless hours of mindless entertainment.

Don’t worry, I’m not picky about where my fixes come from.

Recently I was desperate and even watched a made for TV movie because no one died on any of my shows.

Pathetic isn’t?

I crave the drama of TV.

I realize (sometimes) that it’s not true. I know that, OK? But I love to get lost into the silly scenarios of my friends.

We have a love/hate relationship.

Where else could you attend a Post-It wedding (Grey’s), watch a woman wake up from a coma and be reunited with her family (Private Practice) and finally, witness the adventures of plane wrecked passengers who are living in tandem between life in America and life on the island (granted, this is almost too far out for even me)?

Where I ask?  That’s right, good ole TV Dramas.

I’m just keeping my old friend TV alive and you should too.