Remember the last time that I wrote about WW and I said my heart/head didn’t wanna play the WW game? Remember when I showed you fancy graphs of how my weight loss had flat-lined? Remember how I said I needed some inspiration?

Well, it’s 3 months later and today could write the exact same post.

Ugh.

I am happy to report that I did make it through Halloween, Christmas, Valentines and Easter and only gained 4 pounds. This, to me, is a miracle.

You see friends, the holidays are rough for the likes of me.

I literally ate a bag of jelly beans a day for 5 days straight. A BAG A DAY PEOPLE.

Hello, my name is Molly and I have a problem.

I’m pretty sure that Weight Watchers spokesperson Jennifer Hudson doesn’t eat a bag of jelly beans a day. She probably eats grilled chicken and celery. Her waist is tiny and beautiful and not filled with tiny jelly beans.

Thankfully, all the sugar has been banished from the house and I am on day 5 of WW. Like, the for real WW. The one where you actually count points, rather than thinking about how many points it may be and stuffing it in your mouth with reckless abandon. Ya know, the kind of WW that I’ve been doing for months. It’s not really working for me.

Newsflash, when I count points, I lose weight. What a miracle!

Ya know, calories in, calories out, yada, yada, yada.

Anyway, I’m standing here in front of all of you confessing my lack of disciple and confessing my desire to lose 12 pounds in 6 weeks.

I can totally do it. I know I can. I’ve done it before and I can again. If only I will stick to the plan!!!!

Wanna do it too? Pretty please with sugar on top. Lots of sugar. Or maybe Splenda?

Help people. WW is tough for a sugaraholic. I need all the help/encouragment/love that I can get! Tell me how you’re gonna join me. We can do this my peeps!

Bitzy LOVES apples!

Well friends, it’s been a whole month since I got back together with my old beau, WW.

Our affairs have been intense in the past and the reunion tour I’m currently on is no exception.

You see, Weight Watchers is the perfect match for the likes of me.

What other diet program gives you the option of eating sugar all the live long day?  I love having that option, it keeps my sugar addiction intact.

Here’s the skinny.

In 4 weeks I’ve lost 11 pounds.

However, I feel like a cheater.

I get 20,490 points a day because I’m breastfeeding exclusively. I mean, that’s a lot of points. And since I value all things sugar over anything else, I’ve been eating a lot (like a lot, a lot) of sugar.

The secret to eating tons of junk food and still losing weight is simply staying within your points. It’s not brain surgery.

You see, WW tried to get all sneaky and change the points system so that you were forced to eat healthier.

Pu-lease WW. I ain’t no dummy.

Sugar always wins.

Always.

A life without Milky Way is no life at all.

So there you have it. WW is working yet again.

I am a life long believer in the powers of WW.

Today I tried on my “fat” jeans and they fit! Obviously, my goal is to fit into my “normal” size jeans and hopefully my “skinny” jeans (not to be confused with actual skinny jeans. Not my style folks, nope not at all) will eventually fit again soon enough.

So progress is certainly being made! More updates to come sooner than later.

Anyone else out there in cyberspace losing weight/wants to lose/loves sugar?

Anyone? Am I all alone in the world of WW?

Do tell!

Ya know the terrible, awful, mean thoughts you have in your head but you never say them out loud because people will think you’re such a heartless meanie pants?

Well, for fear that I will have to wear a “World’s Biggest Meanie” badge, I’ve gotta get this out.

I have a love/hate relationship with the Biggest Loser.

There I said it.

I know that everyone in the whole wide loves the show, but friends, it’s a little dramatic for my taste.

I know what you’re thinking. How can I consider McDreamy and Meredith my personal friends but say that The Biggest Loser is too dramatic?

Well, that’s a good question.

The short answer? I’ve been with McDreamy and Meredith longer. Our relationship is more solid, so that’s that. Plus, I earned my medical degree from The Grey’s Anatomy School of Medicine. I can’t quit them now, or ever.

I think part of my issue with The Biggest Loser is that the show is too long. Two hours is a really long time for one show…unless, that show is One Tree Hill of course. I would be totally okay with every episode being two hours, (do you hear me CWTV. That’s a formal request).

Also, it’s like the show finds the most emotional people in the world. These poor people say their name and where they’re from and immediately burst into tears. Why, I ask?

Do they love their hometown? Do they hate their name? What is so emotional about stating your name and hometown? I just don’t get it.

The only thing I can figure is that they’re hungry.

Like, starving.

I mean if you go from eating a pizza every day to eating grilled chicken and yogurt, how does the body respond?

The Biggest Loser has taught us over the years that the response is always tears.

Always.

Then, add in 8 hours of grueling exercise and these people realize that the key to weight loss is crying. The more you cry the more you lose. So cry on people, cry on.

I just wish that I could send them a care package full of my favorite things when I’m crying. Do you think they’d appreciate a box full of candy pumpkins, mashed potatoes and chocolate milk?

Probably not.

And also, Alison Sweeny gets prettier every episode. Can I get a witness?

As you know, I have been shredding my little heart out.

I’m tired, sore and annoyed that I’m not naturally skinny and muscular.

Why can’t I be one of those girls that say, “I know that I have a 6 pack, I guess I was just born that way.”  But then again, she’s probably puking her guts out in the bathroom and doing sit-ups in between heaving…so alas, I will Shred since puking is reserved for pregnancy and doing sit-ups on the bathroom floor is gross.  I’ll try to like it and not whine too much.

After my first pitiful attempt at Shredding, this is my round 2.

Here’s the play by play:

Day One- Hard.  Really hard.  Lots-o-sweat and heavy breathing. I made it through every exercise and I didn’t cry.  However, I found Jillian extremely annoying. Her, “I’m hoping you know me” line at the beginning is a bit obnoxious if I do say myself.  Overall, I felt pretty OK and encouraged that maybe I’m not as out of shape as I think I am.

Day Two- I woke up semi sore. Not “can’t move my legs and stairs are scary” sore, but sore nonetheless.  When Jillian had our shredding date I was tired. It’s funny how I wasn’t all that sore until I began doing the exercises…it was then that my muscles began screaming for me to stop.  But I pressed onward and finished again, never skipping a beat…but again, there was lots of panting and sweat.

Day Three- I already flaked out. I’m a loser.  I’m sorry.

Day Four- Flaked again.  There is no excuse for me.  Although I did walk 3 miles in 90 degree heat while pushing a stroller and then my sweet Bitzy had a melt down and I carried her up a huge hill while pushing the stroller…does that help my case?

Day Five- Felt great. I even felt kind of strong…weird.

Day Six- Exhausted.Tired.Sore.Do.Not.Like.Jillian.

Day Seven- Walked 2 miles. Didn’t Shred. I’m sorry.

Day Eight- Felt really good.  This gig is definitely getting easier. The push-ups are killer, but my arms are looking a little less pudgy.  Hooray!

Day Nine- Flaked.Tired.Flaked.Exhaustion.Need.More.Sleep.com

Day Ten- Felt energized.  Lost 3.4 pounds this week (maybe this Shred stuff is working?) and it makes me wanna Shred harder…although, Jillian is driving me bananas.

After 1-10 days you’re supposed to move to Level 2, but I’m just not ready.  I’m sorry. I’m not a Shred role model, however, I need one. And while we’re at it, I need a personal trainer to come to my house (not one on TV, a real life one), and if it could be for free that would be great.  Let me know what you find out…in the meantime, I’m going to try to flake less on Level One and keep working on my sorta pudgy arms.

Are you Shredding too?  Please, pretty please with sugar on top Shred with me….anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

As you know, my old pal Weight Watchers and me are on an adventure.  We’ve been hanging out on and off for awhile now, but recently we’ve gotten really close.

You see, with WW I know what to expect.  I know how the beginning is hard and then it gets easier.

I know how much I can cheat and get away with it and when enough really is enough.

I’ve been with WW long enough to not dread it and look forward to my progress.

“They” say that eating is the key to weight loss and that exercise is just the icing on the fat free cake. So on this WW adventure, I’ve walked a few times a week, but nothing too strenuous.

I wouldn’t want to overexert myself or anything.

Clearly.

But, “they” also say that all good things must come to an end.  So my dear readers, my “who needs exercise when I sort of stayed within my points today?” days are over.

I have begun to Shred.

Can I have abs like her please?

What is the Shred you ask?

Well, my friends, the Shred is a little workout video hosted by none other than Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser.

If you’re a viewer of The Biggest Loser then you know how scary it is to begin this journey.  If not, think Jane Fonda meets Mr. T meets Dr. Phil and then you have Jillian Michaels.

She’s a great trainer and gets great results from the contestants on the show.  I must admit that I find her mildly annoying.  Especially on the Shred video.

But, let’s focus on the positive.

I want my arms to look skinny and muscular and if it takes hanging out with Jillian for 20 minutes a day for 30 days straight, then so be it.

I say that on day #2, on day #20 I may be saying that chubby arms aren’t all that bad.

So who’s with me?  Let’s fight the flub together and make fun of Jillian all at the same time!

Sounds like great fun to me.